BHM

That’s all they’re fit for.

You can’t do anything for the likes of her - they don’t understand we need a wage. I tell those punters to sell it themselves if they don’t like my valuation - I drive all p/xs & usually the reason for them changing cars becomes immediately obvious which helps with the discussion over money.

Bottle green. Lovely.

A fortnight ago I sold a £2000 car & allowed the old boy £600 for his p/x (which he wasn’t expecting me to take, it was only when I asked that he offered it to me). Anyway he passed his money at me, all £2000 of it. I had to explain twice why I was giving him £600 back & he still looked puzzled (I’m not sure he was the sharpest tool in the box). It may of dawned on him later but plenty of shysters would of had him for his £600. I bet if he was dealing with one of Scumtree’s finest he’d of been done, who says all of us car traders are c**ts?

F*** me, a poor version of Scumtree. I’d just love to spend a weekend in a field with them at their summer get together (that’s a polite way of asking what sort of sad c*** would join THAT club?)

Snap!

My £4K stock is gathering dust. Plodding on with run of the mill shite up to £2K, miley (so it looks like flash for not much cash) 4x4 & 7 seaters up to £3K. I’ve got a couple of average mileage Rav4s that I’ve not opened the door on, FTSH etc. I’ve carved the balls off the prices cos I’m sick of looking at them but to zero effect. Yet, 2 big p/x vehicles with an eyewatering 160Kish each flew out of the door in days, so quick that I bought in another 2 & they followed suit. All with proper profit across them. It doesn’t make sense to me.

Funnily enough yesterday’s was close by at Ripon, 2003, 79K & hammered at £1253. How the f*** do you get a private man’s hand into his pocket for a crusty old Rover at £2500? The man must have the Midas touch.

£199 depo!?!!! If a punter comes to look at an £800 heap & wants to leave a deposit it take £200 - no discussion, £200 in person or it’s left on sale. They sound like a shower of chancers to me - spend f.a. until you see some more brass.

A text message. I wouldn’t respond to it. Dealt with.

I nearly fell over at what that 2003 diesel auto estate made on Dealer Auction a couple of days ago.

I suspect his interior is somewhat worn

Who’s buying this massively overpriced stock? Washington’s been a joke recently for bottom & mid-range stock. Traders fighting over 10-15yr old pure shite that if a private man presented it to me as a p/x I wouldn’t even offer him the Manheim gate money. Stock that should be £1500-2500 is making £2000-3000 before the gate money. I’m sorry, but how on earth is anyone making money on this stuff? I just hope it’s not f***ed when it’s driven out otherwise that’s more money, some lads must have £3000 in £2000 cars.

Ebay auctions aren’t ideal if you suffer from high blood pressure. You’ll have an aneurism dealing with those bastards.

What, on a 13 year old mark 1 Focus!?!! Gumtree fodder & I’m with Arfur - I wouldn’t waste my time putting any graft into it. btw the clicks were known for f***ing up in back in the day but it’ll probably keep going fine & wont happen that often.

I stopped taking deposits about a year ago. I run on a “first come, first served” basis and because they’ve not paid a deposit I tell them they’re free to view & walk if they don’t like it with absolutely no pressure. It works 90% of the time because I weed out most arseholes over the phone. It works for me as I really can’t be arsed chewing on with customers - if they turn up with high expectations they’ve not paid a deposit so there’s no negotiation “Mr. Customer, if you don’t like what you see at my price then please do not get in and drive it, don’t waste either of our time, just leave it to one of the other 63 million of the population”. Years ago I used to take a £3-500 deposit (it used to concentrate punters minds ), then £200 but nowadays punters seem to think £100 is a deposit (it’s barely a good drink nowadays!) and I didn’t like removing a car from sale for such a paltry amount.

I’m with Arfur on this. I occasionally sell a car to someone who has only emailed but it’s been a purchase without p/x, and has only happened a few times. Tbh 80% of emailers are simply time wasting dreamers or chancers. I only answer 2 emails from the same person, after that they’re told to phone & any more emails are simply ignored - serious punters will phone at that point. Anyone thwarting about sending email after email is just f***ing about - the “nearly men”, they nearly bought this, they nearly bought that - their whole life they’ve been nearly doing this & that but rarely achieve their objectives. A good percentage of emailers chance their arms because they wouldn’t have the spine to do it face to face. Any attempts at negotiation get this “cut & paste” response; Hello, sorry but I no longer waste time negotiating by email - face to face only. Unfortunately nowadays there are far too many messers talking-the-talk via the internet. If you're prepared to walk-the-walk feel free to phone & arrange a viewing - I'm sure you'll agree that genuine buyers want to see what they're getting for their money. No offence intended, BHM Most ignore this, a few waste time emailing back, I occasionally get a call promising to view sometime next week/month & I think two actually came & bought. Basically the vast majority of email negotiators are, in my jaundiced opinion, absolute fucking time wasting twats.

Yep, I’m not working for nothing either. I’ve bought a couple this week, but need about 10 - those buying at close to retail are welcome to their stock because I like working for profit, not for money back. As for the trade buying shitty old shape Fiestas for strong money, what’s that all about? I wouldn’t thank you for that sort of stock, tbh I thought they’d only be fit for Scumtree at Scumtree prices. Good luck, give me a 150K mile 4x4 any day of the week! Proper buyers at proper money making me a proper wage - unlike greedy/penniless small car buying scum.

Ahhh, but cos it’s parked up it doesn’t need any maintenance, does it? And even if it did the owner has a £30 jack & a £20 Halfords socket set to “Have a quick look myself” cos lying on his back on his drive on a weekend gives him a better insight than an MOT tester looking at it on the ramps. A fine piece of European legislation that we should of ignored. One day there will be some tragedy such as a bus stop wiped out by some home mechanic’s ill-maintained (knackered) Cortina.

I’d still give it a good run out. I remember years ago, a neighbour’s Mondog started playing up. First port of call fuel filter, then ‘something’ turbo related, then injectors, then fuel pump, then....then....then.... After pumping over £2000 into the heap of shit he was no further forward & threw his hands up in defeat. I then had three customers complain within the same month of engine related issues. I hate Mondeos, or more precisely I hate everything bolted to the TDCi engine.

Yep, the same with Facebook. I’m not on it but ‘er indoors is & I mistakenly mentioned I desperately need some stock. After she showed me the 6th car (clearly under described by a dodgy trader) I told her not to bother. With photos taken outside units & car lots I can’t understand how the public are taken in. CORRECTION; I can understand, a cheap price always attracts vermin. An example; Pug 207 HDI. Photos outside a pitch, the man also had an old Transit advertised. Anyhow the Peugeot was being sold due to a “newer car” , mileage & age undeclared, would pass the ONE WEEK MOT with the addition of a tyre & a bulb! This gem was absolute peanuts so some gullible/horrible/greedy Facebook scumbag will no doubt get caught out.

Why should they? As soon as they do that the site will be clogged-up with plastic traders expecting retail cars & running up genuine bidders. I must say I find it impossible to understand how on earth anyone in this game claiming to be full time can fall under the VAT threshold & make enough to live on.

As the old saying goes: You can’t con an honest man.

To be fair, cars at ‘traditional’ auctions don’t have faults declared either. The cars on DA are hit & miss, much like at your local block. Plenty of main dealers do not give a f***, but some do. PS anyone had any experience of TMS Volvo @ Hinckley? I do

Although plenty of main dealers are cheeky chancing c***s with rose-tinted spectacles when I read this sort of thing it depresses me - what sort of c*** spends ages inspecting a £300 heap of shit?