BHM

Anyone had any experience of ClickMechanic.com? In all of my years of trading I’ve heard punters mention “professional mechanical inspections” but they have never paid for one. Voila! A text comes through & I’ve got one tomorrow. An hour or so ago an eBay punter phoned about one of my cars & asked if I’d object. I said “No, spend what you like, just get them to arrange it with me”. He stated that he wants a good car for his daughter. He then asked “Do I need to know anything else?”. I said “No, it’s all in the advert. Just read it top to bottom. Have you read it?” To which he mumbled some nonsense. The best thing about this? THE F***ING CAR IS BEING SOLD FOR REPAIRS!!!! I’m happy for some nutter to give a local mechanic an hours work but the moral of this story is READ THE BLOODY ADVERT.

I’m with grant8064 about 80% on this, although my vehicles are a bit cheaper being up to £4K max with plenty in the £1500-3000 bracket. eBay - works ok for me. FB - I’m not on it & have no intention of dealing with punters wanting their egos massaged. Gumtree - The cars section is FULL of dodgy traders masquerading as private sellers. I’ll use it next time I have an old washing machine I can’t be bothered taking to the tip. Motors - seems to be dying. Pistonheads - if you want to attract the biggest know-all, dreaming bellends then this is THE place to attract them. Local newspapers/freesheets - advertising was dead a decade ago for small retailers. A/T - at £2K+ per month I won’t be bothering them with my business anytime soon as I’m not looking to increase business. However as RHTrading correctly pointed out, the devil’s in the details & his mathematics clearly tells him we’re his money goes & why he puts it there. A/T may not be for me as I’m as busy as I want to be but he likes it & based on his figures I agree 100% with him. Finally, +1 to below! sick of these posts.

As I wrote yesterday I’ve yet to see an engineers report. By the sounds of it you aren’t going to see one either! The sort of punter buying 15yr old hatchbacks is not the sort of person prepared to spend money on engineers reports. Your customer is clearly a pillock. Do not enter into phone discussions. Do not communicate by text. Letters only. Do not communicate with the boyfriend - he has f.a. to do with the purchase. The punter stinks of being a penniless twat & by the sound of it this saga has virtually ended because they’ve tripped themselves up a few times. Tbh if they phoned me they’d be told “Letters only, now f.o. & don’t try taking the piss. Goodbye, do your best”.

He won’t of. It’s just shite spewing from an emailer’s fingertips. He’ll be hoping to be offered a few quid compensation. Clowns. Years ago I had one try to bill me for a train - I had phoned him to say “sorry, the car’s gone” and he was on the train. Not a happy bunny, we exchanged ‘pleasantries’ I’ve the phone, gave him the email brush off & when he sent me the ticket I ripped it up & posted it back to him. It’s a hard world and this game has taught me to ignore the talk and deal on a first come, first served basis.

It’ll be interesting to see if the alleged inspection report materialises. I’ve never seen one in my life - punters will normally say anything & the once I saw “something” in writing it was clearly by a friend & one phone call to the garage on the letterhead confirmed it. Why oh why are you wasting time PDIing 15yr old bangers? (Sorry, but a 15yr old Mini is a banger in my book). They’re clearly of little use to you because whether or not you have PDIed them it doesn’t stop a punter complaining. You can do as much prep as you want but a bellend customer will always be a bellend and you can’t PDI your way out of that.

Firstly, I’m making the assumption the car was straight & you’re not a chancer. Do nowt until you’ve received something in writing/email & take it from there. At the moment the ball’s in their court. After 2 months of motoring the customer hears a rubbing sound & then gets it checked out. To my mind the customer has clearly stated to you the alleged problem has only just arisen - you need to get that in writing if the matter progresses. At that point you should be in the clear, forget mileage & all that nonsense, it only takes 6” to smash over a kerb. From your version of events I smell a penniless chancer who’s had his fun in an old knacker Mini & now can’t afford to run it????

I assumed it was weak clutch springs cos they feel little better than the clutches I’ve had removed. They do a job but I personally found they don’t improve so even I spend a couple of quid more & I'm greedy.

I think it’s the general public’s use of the internet that’s flawed, not the auction system per se. Ebaymotorspro only for me, it’s a bargain and I and many others I know sell purely from that platform. I think it’s fair to say you have to either be keen on pricing or have “rare” stock but as for the bottom dollar brigade just delete the email or send them a standard response along the lines of “I don’t discount, blah blah blah” - a couple of times a month it works and the punter stumps up. Horses for courses, I feel another AT mass debate approaching......

True BUT an emailer arsehole hiding behind a computer who chipped £3000 due to those faults won’t up their bid by £3000. Mind you, I sell some shite but not at £11K. tbh I wouldn’t expect a punter on an £11K car to be presented with such defects.

Yep, and it won’t be the last. Like many in this industry full of big talk - why on earth would anyone believe they’d be pumping £25Million into advertising? It surprises me the number of seasoned professionals in this game who are taken in by a salesman’s bull.

+1. It may be blunt but that works for me because I really do not have the patience to deal with indecisive punters.

Couple 1 were probably spending every last penny & couple 2 probably weren’t. It’s usually the greedy penniless bar-stewards who are fussy. As for punters with ridiculous expectations it’s getting crazy at the moment with more & more expecting the earth for a few grand. I’ve started telling them to look at the condition first & if they don’t like what they see we’ll stop there. They only get a test drive when they confirm they’re happy with the condition.

Reviews aren’t worth a w**k in my opinion.

They’d also want free delivery. Here’s my first email; Hi would you take a trade bid on this Ranger I’m a home trader in Cheshire and need one to pull my trailer as my last one got lifted? Please call me on XXXXXXXXXXX can collect either today or tomorrow for cash Wants a discount, can’t be bothered to phone and when I googled his phone no. his trade seems to be gardening.

Bankers drafts are a thing of the past & anyway I stopped taking them when a bank cashier told they weren’t infallible & could be bounced. I couldn’t believe it then a colleague of hers also confirmed it - apparently they are no ‘safer’ than a cheque.

Haha too true. I don’t do viewings on a Sunday but twice a year I relent & twice a year I soon get reminded why I don’t deal with Sunday tyrekickers. I rarely get “no shows” because, say if someone phoned this morning & then said they wanted to see a car this afternoon, I would tell them to phone me when they are ready to set off to check the car is still available. It works for me because in this game I soon learned that “I’ll come & see it later” means absolutely sweet f.a. - unfortunately common courtesy for your fellow man is distinctly uncommon nowadays. Tbh if I changed career I would NOT do anything involving contact with the general public.

Some weeks/fortnights/months can be VERY slow sales-wise and it’s definitely harder making a sale than it was a few years ago. I’m internet based also but if I have a quiet week or two I’ve always had a sudden rush which brings the money back up to average. If your prices are right then everything sells (eventually). It’s true that being internet based you must be competitively priced for your area but the thought of being sat in a Portakabin for 10 hours a day during a quiet spell would have me suicidal so it’s not for me, although it would be nice to be able to charge pitch prices!

Snap

New week, new start. Hopefully. I don’t know what happened last week but every loon known to man contacted me with the aim of wasting my time & annoying me. It was absolute crackerjack week, not one sensible person.

I’m 99% certain they don’t have a DMF. Check the slave cylinder for leaks but I’m guessing it has 100-120K miles on it? By that mileage the clutch springs/fingers on virtually all Kias/Hyundai’s go weak & a new 3 part clutch kit will solve it. Don’t use a National clutch cos they feel bloody awful underfoot (not much better than what you’re removing), spend £20 more on a better branded item.

I’m a little puzzled - do some of you really feel the need to pressure check cooling systems, check alternator outputs & pollen filters on every single car? It’s simple mathematics, if you feel the costs of a PDI outweigh the costs of comebacks then all well & good. However, if you’re doing hundreds of PDIs per year and are only preventing the occasional comeback then from a financial point of view they’re a waste of time. Also, if something does go wrong, whether or not you’ve PDIed then surely you’ll be putting it right anyway? Just my two penneth worth, I’m not the biggest business but I rarely get comebacks & only have to put my hand in my pocket about once a year.

After a dismal week of dealing with tyre kickers, ignoring derisory email offers & talking to some absolute lions on the phone I had a pair of right greedy parasites. Fussy as fussy can be, hunting for marks & scratches on £2000 cars, they claimed to be unconcerned with running costs (but soiled themselves at the thought of £300ish per year tax). They even opined that they thought their £2000 WOULD GET HIM A NICE, NEWISH, LOW MILEAGE AUDI ESTATE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I nearly fell over!! I asked them if they realised that was mega mileage ex-taxi money, or an old relic, to which they replied they realise Audi’s aren’t the best value but they expect quality for £2000!!!! Upon showing them a nice Hyundai i30 estate, FHSH, new tyres & brakes, I then caught her TEXTING SOME FACEBOOK CHARLIE ABOUT A MONDEO WHILE HE WAS INSPECTING THE HISTORY. That was enough for me as I sent them packing. An hour later they texted (no f***ing texts here as per my adverts), the £2000 2010 Mondeo estate wasn’t to their liking (ex-taxi money) but they’re “still focussed on the Audi range”. Btw, these fussy, top dollar punters’ ride was a 53 plate Mazda 6 petrol, wheelarches in tatters, bumped at the front end, brakes well worn. Absolute clowns. Good riddance to this week.

Absolutely true. Nowadays I do actually make sales to punters who’s initial contact was by email but they’ll then phone. Those punters messing about for days firing emails & then 24 hours later sending an email “??” because they haven’t had a response are cretins. They boil my piss.

I’ve been laughing out loud at the phone idiots for years & funnily enough never had a positive response. Unfortunately most of these parasitic/dreaming/skint idiots now clutter up the email inbox. Most are to be ignored but this week I thought I’d waste their time and answered FOUR back saying “Yes, but please don’t email back, just call when you’re cashed-up and ready to set off”. Needless to say, ZERO response.

Years ago a friend was told by her father that on a night you’ll have to turn off the radio because if you have it on with the lights it might flatten the battery. (Really? On a Nissan Micra?) A sale fell through due to wheeltrims being cable tied to the wheels. The punter was taking motoring advice from her 14 year old son. “This car has never been serviced!”. Said by a punter because a front fog lamp bulb was u/s. ”You have to discount because it’s only a 3 door!”. Madam it was a 3 door on the advert. One December a man refused to buy a car because I’d just put a full MOT on it. His reasoning was that the following December he wouldn’t be able to afford to MOT the car due to Xmas etc. I suggested he MOT it early, he looked horrified & said “But that way I’d be losing money” (Eh??) “What’s it like on petrol?” Not strange in itself but asked whilst looking at a 3.0 petrol automatic 4x4 (I refused the test drive & told him to buy a 1.0 Corsa). Punter on phone, regarding a £500 banger, who lives 30 miles away; “Can you bring it around to my house & if I like it we can negotiate”. Customer on the phone about a £3000 car; “Can you buy back the CRV auto I bought a fortnight ago?”. WHY? “I’ve been quoted £8000 import taxes” (one of the African countries). 30 seconds on the internet proved he was correct, it’s a shame he didn’t think of checking first. “I wanted a diesel & I don’t like orange”. Said after travelling 2 hours to see an orange petrol Freelander. On a £1000 Vectra ”Would you take £300 because my daughter might be disabled in the near future?” (Yes, you read that correctly). I looked at her 25 year old daughter who looked as fit as a fiddle and simply said “Sorry no, I think you’d better leave”.