BHM

Haha too true. I don’t do viewings on a Sunday but twice a year I relent & twice a year I soon get reminded why I don’t deal with Sunday tyrekickers. I rarely get “no shows” because, say if someone phoned this morning & then said they wanted to see a car this afternoon, I would tell them to phone me when they are ready to set off to check the car is still available. It works for me because in this game I soon learned that “I’ll come & see it later” means absolutely sweet f.a. - unfortunately common courtesy for your fellow man is distinctly uncommon nowadays. Tbh if I changed career I would NOT do anything involving contact with the general public.

Some weeks/fortnights/months can be VERY slow sales-wise and it’s definitely harder making a sale than it was a few years ago. I’m internet based also but if I have a quiet week or two I’ve always had a sudden rush which brings the money back up to average. If your prices are right then everything sells (eventually). It’s true that being internet based you must be competitively priced for your area but the thought of being sat in a Portakabin for 10 hours a day during a quiet spell would have me suicidal so it’s not for me, although it would be nice to be able to charge pitch prices!

Snap

New week, new start. Hopefully. I don’t know what happened last week but every loon known to man contacted me with the aim of wasting my time & annoying me. It was absolute crackerjack week, not one sensible person.

I’m 99% certain they don’t have a DMF. Check the slave cylinder for leaks but I’m guessing it has 100-120K miles on it? By that mileage the clutch springs/fingers on virtually all Kias/Hyundai’s go weak & a new 3 part clutch kit will solve it. Don’t use a National clutch cos they feel bloody awful underfoot (not much better than what you’re removing), spend £20 more on a better branded item.

I’m a little puzzled - do some of you really feel the need to pressure check cooling systems, check alternator outputs & pollen filters on every single car? It’s simple mathematics, if you feel the costs of a PDI outweigh the costs of comebacks then all well & good. However, if you’re doing hundreds of PDIs per year and are only preventing the occasional comeback then from a financial point of view they’re a waste of time. Also, if something does go wrong, whether or not you’ve PDIed then surely you’ll be putting it right anyway? Just my two penneth worth, I’m not the biggest business but I rarely get comebacks & only have to put my hand in my pocket about once a year.

After a dismal week of dealing with tyre kickers, ignoring derisory email offers & talking to some absolute lions on the phone I had a pair of right greedy parasites. Fussy as fussy can be, hunting for marks & scratches on £2000 cars, they claimed to be unconcerned with running costs (but soiled themselves at the thought of £300ish per year tax). They even opined that they thought their £2000 WOULD GET HIM A NICE, NEWISH, LOW MILEAGE AUDI ESTATE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I nearly fell over!! I asked them if they realised that was mega mileage ex-taxi money, or an old relic, to which they replied they realise Audi’s aren’t the best value but they expect quality for £2000!!!! Upon showing them a nice Hyundai i30 estate, FHSH, new tyres & brakes, I then caught her TEXTING SOME FACEBOOK CHARLIE ABOUT A MONDEO WHILE HE WAS INSPECTING THE HISTORY. That was enough for me as I sent them packing. An hour later they texted (no f***ing texts here as per my adverts), the £2000 2010 Mondeo estate wasn’t to their liking (ex-taxi money) but they’re “still focussed on the Audi range”. Btw, these fussy, top dollar punters’ ride was a 53 plate Mazda 6 petrol, wheelarches in tatters, bumped at the front end, brakes well worn. Absolute clowns. Good riddance to this week.

Absolutely true. Nowadays I do actually make sales to punters who’s initial contact was by email but they’ll then phone. Those punters messing about for days firing emails & then 24 hours later sending an email “??” because they haven’t had a response are cretins. They boil my piss.

I’ve been laughing out loud at the phone idiots for years & funnily enough never had a positive response. Unfortunately most of these parasitic/dreaming/skint idiots now clutter up the email inbox. Most are to be ignored but this week I thought I’d waste their time and answered FOUR back saying “Yes, but please don’t email back, just call when you’re cashed-up and ready to set off”. Needless to say, ZERO response.

Years ago a friend was told by her father that on a night you’ll have to turn off the radio because if you have it on with the lights it might flatten the battery. (Really? On a Nissan Micra?) A sale fell through due to wheeltrims being cable tied to the wheels. The punter was taking motoring advice from her 14 year old son. “This car has never been serviced!”. Said by a punter because a front fog lamp bulb was u/s. ”You have to discount because it’s only a 3 door!”. Madam it was a 3 door on the advert. One December a man refused to buy a car because I’d just put a full MOT on it. His reasoning was that the following December he wouldn’t be able to afford to MOT the car due to Xmas etc. I suggested he MOT it early, he looked horrified & said “But that way I’d be losing money” (Eh??) “What’s it like on petrol?” Not strange in itself but asked whilst looking at a 3.0 petrol automatic 4x4 (I refused the test drive & told him to buy a 1.0 Corsa). Punter on phone, regarding a £500 banger, who lives 30 miles away; “Can you bring it around to my house & if I like it we can negotiate”. Customer on the phone about a £3000 car; “Can you buy back the CRV auto I bought a fortnight ago?”. WHY? “I’ve been quoted £8000 import taxes” (one of the African countries). 30 seconds on the internet proved he was correct, it’s a shame he didn’t think of checking first. “I wanted a diesel & I don’t like orange”. Said after travelling 2 hours to see an orange petrol Freelander. On a £1000 Vectra ”Would you take £300 because my daughter might be disabled in the near future?” (Yes, you read that correctly). I looked at her 25 year old daughter who looked as fit as a fiddle and simply said “Sorry no, I think you’d better leave”.

I’d stand my ground too. Mind you, it all depends on the judge on the day but you’ve no other sensible option (unless you count bending over backward for the punter as an option). Tbh I think you’ve already offered too much, you’ve offered her a damn sight more than she’d get from me.

Don’t worry, that’ll all soon change - those of you thinking Poles are the answer to this country’s ills are deluded. They’re no better & no worse than the rest of the population. The last one I sold a car to (for his ex - a £1000 cheapie) hadn’t done a days work in years, he appeared to be some sort of wideboy in the obligatory blacked out Audi. Through our discussions what transpired was him & his like think this country is an easy ride, you can get away with most things, the state keeps a roof over their heads & credit was something to take out, make one payment then sod off with the goods! He added “things are very different in Poland, it’s laughable here” as he opened the glovebox & passed me one of the many bundles of money.

Unfortunately the bottom dollar brigade’s offers seem to come when I’m quiet. Funnily enough I’ve just received another “£500 less” offer via eBay. Vermin.

Andy, unfortunately not & tbh our home grown loons are just embarrassing to the word ‘British’. I guess you’ve had a few nutters, I’m going through a quiet spell this week and I’ve had what can only be described as the most stupid offers from this country’s finest! I’ve even had two punters out, one I told “that’s the price” only to receive an email offer 2 days later. I’ve had my fun, told him yes!, ignored his further emails & when he finally plucked up the courage to phone I had the pleasure of sacking him off. I think there are some desperate people out there struggling with their finances but that’s their problem, not mine.

Yes, but we haven’t seen the state of it. Every week in this game you see “cheap” cars, unfortunately usually for a reason.

Yep. I assume that’s a polite way of saying a greedy c*** Surely not worse than 1.9 TDI Passat estate men?? Discuss!

Last week at Washington, 60 plate Subaru Impreza hatchback with the desirable (ahem!) diesel engine. CAP average 3.6K, clean 3.9K, it made £5K on the hammer. Bonkers. Personally I wouldn’t want it

Miles 12 year old Prius If a dashboard light flashes up on that baby you can guess it’d be more involved than a 1.6 Astra You couldn’t even Blu-Tak over the bulb

P/x direct - only for those braver than me, I stopped looking at them about 10 years ago.

Too bloody true! That dealertrade was full of pure tat & although Dealer Auction has its problems they certainly would not be improved by us lads all trying to offload our shite onto someone else, because tbh the only time I’d raffle off a car into the trade would be if it was knackered.

Hmmmmmmm and if there’s a slip up come the year end you can guess who’ll be out of pocket. My guess is it won’t be the Malteser

Do you actually need to channel money into a “warranty” account or is that just to keep tabs on costs? Surely forget the external warranty company and simply pay out repairs as & when necessary.

If someone went legal on a big problem within a few weeks of purchasing a car then as andymc1973 says, you wouldn’t have a leg to stand on and a judge would find against the retailer, never mind any “wear & tear” bollocks - and selling older mega mileage motors doesn’t absolve retailers of their responsibilities. However this may be overthinking the job & it’ll rarely come down to this hence why you can normally brush off a punter. Mind you as for grant8064’s chancer I’d let him blow off some steam then tell him he’s getting nowt. Then the inevitable threats of ‘solicitor/barrister/trading standards’ would spew out of his mouth at which point I’d laugh, tell him to do his best, then bid him farewell & terminate the call.

I’m sure you’ll be able to import them yourself for significantly less than buying from one of these import specialists - there’s one not to far from me & his prices are telephone no.s. I agree with what Arfur wrote regarding suspiciously low mileage beauties - I find it strange that no one in Japan seems to do more than a few miles per year.