BHM

It’s hard going & I reckon it’s only going to get harder over the next couple of years.

Fingers crossed but any 70/90 seem to get a few ‘box issues once they’ve passed 150K, both manual & auto. Get it assessed (I guess you don’t need telling this) and if it’s diagnosed as the gearbox, rather than get involved, I’d be tempted to bat it out cheap as it is & get it away to a half-deaf (or ignorant) punter. The last grumbly ‘box Volvo I had was sold to a man who turned up in his knackered N-reg Discovery so he noticed sweet f.a. and was chuffed to bits with his purchase.

I’d of thought that too as every year I must send proof of trading to my insurance broker. However it can’t be the case because a few times a year I sell cars to people who state they’ll just put it in their trade insurance. Somehow some of these punters are getting insurance every year & are using trade policies as multi car policies. They’ve never traded in their lives, don’t have trade plates etc. - they just have a few cars lying around. It doesn’t make sense to me.

2.5 - 3 months. In my opinion if it’s not gone by then then no one wants it so I cut the balls off the price & blow it out of the door to the first greedy parasite who rocks up As an aside them Aurises are pitch cars - absolutely no good for the internet. I’ve had 2, both low miles for age, both top spec, both FSH, a petrol that I put 4 new tyres & a clutch in and a scruffy (but f***ing cheap) diesel. The petrol only sold “accidentally” to a man who came to see a Berlingo but took a fancy to the colour (I don’t think I’d even taken a phone call on it) and the diesel just attracted stupid offers from the usual undesirable section of society who want everything for nowt. EVENTUALLY a nice fella turned up but I certainly won’t be searching for Aurises anytime soon.

I’d guess you’re adverts aren’t frank enough - they have to be brutal. Mind you, being close to London you have a lot of Eastern Europeans & Nigerians so you’ll always have a lot of ‘optimistic’ punters.

Yes & yes. I’ve had 2 goes with them & won’t bother using them again. Ecu Testing once had concerns because a decorative plastic shroud on an ABS unit had a corner snapped off. When I discussed it with them over the phone they very reluctantly agreed to test it. A few days later I got a knock at the door - postie returning it. It had a note “unable to repair, unit incomplete”. It was a f***ing plastic beauty cover!!

Haha, the fact these lines are in bold & repeated tell you all you need to know about punters & their p/xs. Plus, do NOT believe any religious types, elderly, disabled. Treat EVERYONE equally because I’ve met liars from all 3 of those ‘groups’.

I was well refreshed on New Year’s Day but plenty of interest yesterday although many seem to want a £500 discount, a c.o.d. deal or are “coming at the weekend” - in that case why bother me on a Tuesday?

In addition to any usage fees, there’s a benefit to banks getting people using plastic - much of the general public are so poor at money management that it’s just another way of getting them in debt. A man with cash in his pocket knows what he has left - most of these idiots paying for drinks at the pub on plastic think that the card’s credit limit is point zero. I’ve definitely noticed an increase in punters asking for CC payments - I don’t take them so it won’t affect me but punters who want the car usually rustle up the money but the CC brigade (who are no doubt so skint they can’t afford to maintain their car) can go elsewhere & bother them with their aftersales claims. Cash is still king here!

Snap (almost). I’ve had loads of stupid offers this last week & punters failing to arrive, although thankfully I’ve nailed a few after a poor month. One gentleman, named Asif, wasted 10 minutes of my life on the phone yesterday then last night emailed me an offer of £1800 on a £3600 car. I emailed & told him what I thought of his type, he replied with the usual b/s and he’d NEVER spoken to me & would report me for pestering him!!! Anyhow after that I phoned him to square him up - needless to say our little keyboard warrior had a different attitude on the phone & cried off like the pathetic spineless individual he is. If any of these pillocks start messing, as long as you have their no. I suggest you phone them up cos all the ones I’ve contacted seem to shit themselves. Finally, I will add that out of all of the ‘stupid offer brigade’, I think the Eastern Europeans now match the Asian community for their greedy & disgusting way of doing business. Hopefully someone on this forum can enlighten me as to their mentalities with regards to conducting business.

If you don’t do finance DON’T DO IT. You’ll be smoking it for the next 4 years

Are you really trading £23K+ Mercs from home?

I understand that psychology fully. It is an impossibility that you can please 100% of people 100% of the time. You’re correct about some reviewer ‘styles’, some reviews on AT I’ve looked at are laughable - certain traders I know selling cars up to, say, £4000 with 4.8-5.0 out of 5 stars and reviews written in a VERY similar fashion. Absolute bollocks, and it takes moments to open a new email address in order to leave yet another positive review. Mind you, more than 50% of the public are too thick to realise reviews can be so easily rigged.

I recall a couple of years ago I managed to offend one of the Sunday night ebay email brigade with some honesty on an absolutely filthy old Subaru Forester with a tragically soiled & damaged interior (the car was £999 when it booked retail at £2500ish - I only got in it once). No swearing, no deceit, nothing that could be misleading, just good old fashioned truth. He asked what was the mess on the seats, along with a statement of what he expected! (In other words, a greedy bastard). So I answered truthfully along the lines of I’m not 100% sure but I suspect it’s a mix of dog urine, vaginal juice & seminal fluid but at this price whatever’s there is for free. Yet another punter ungrateful for 100% honestly. Funnily enough the man who bought it sent a transport company but he didn’t give a stuff & emailed thanking me for his nice car I remember him saying it was to replace his knackered Morris Minor Traveller for his dogs!! His Minor must of been f***ing rough!!

Yes Sytner’s gone to pot for us, but not for Sytner. Strong reserves usually blown out of the water by even stronger bids. A few that don’t make the reserves are hawked around time & time again until some desperate twat eventually pays them what they want. Any car is only as good as the appraiser & they do differ in quality. I swim at the bottom end & even I’ve noticed a high number of re-auctions, the question is; Are the relistings due to poor appraisal OR non-paying bidders (rather like Mohammed etc. on eBay)? Tbh whenever I win something on-line I wonder by how much I’ve been bid up by some twat who had little intention of buying.

I’d hold fire until you’ve collected it from that lying little b*****d, a touch-up of its crusty wheelarches could be the least of its worries based on his descriptions. Good luck, I’ve given up on their p/xs nowadays.

Dead here, sales wise. Plenty of emails offering peanuts & phone call idiots asking “Any marks or scratches?” on 8 - 10 year old cars. Apparently my attitude is “Strange” for answering in the positive - I asked her if she’d prefer me to lie and tell her the car is immaculate.

Correct. Although they often seem to know an expert. Funnily enough this expert is usually of the ‘self-appointed Internet forum armchair’ variety and has a £10 Halfords socket set. Many seem only too keen to prove they have none of that either! As for punters coming with their ‘expert’ you can soon tell a genuine mechanic (or similar) from a f***ing idiot making out he knows the score and checking every last nut & bolt rather than a cursory glance and just getting in & driving the car.

+1 - classified only is the way to go. It’s been years since ebay auctions were any good, the private men have all had enough of the “spares or repair” game and have wisened up to the “just needs a few quid & a mornings work to get it 100%” . It was brutal (for the punters!) - you could sell absolutely any shit, no comebacks, “sold as seen” and the private punters would bid up everything to strong money. The African & Ireland export job was strong AND the Eastern Europeans (EE) had came online and were filling wagons with absolutely any shite they could get their hands on. I remember one EE exporter phoning me desperate to stop the eBay auction on a knackered (admittedly not advertised as knackered) Discovery that I’d purchased from the block - it stood me at £800 all and then the oil light started flickering (probably due to having about 200K miles on its back and about 8 owners - not my finest purchase ). Anyhow I could barely understand a word, I initially thought he was Asian with his “what’s best price” negotiation and jokingly offered him it at “36 pence and a bag of crisps”. Anyhow he said a few times “3, 6” and I just kept saying ok, and then he said “Ok, I give 3, 6, 0, 0, my truck with you this afternoon”. That afternoon a wagon turned up outside my house, the driver couldn’t speak a word of the queen’s, paid up, loaded up and headed off to somewhere near Russia. £2800 profit for an evening at the block & pulling out the oil pressure warning lamp and I knew the heap of shit wouldn’t be coming back for a warranty claim! At about the same time some idiot ebayer gave me another £2000 profit on a Smart on a Cat. D that looked like the panels had been thrown on by Stevie Wonder - he was chuffed to bits when he collected it cos “I’ve saved £400”, the car was a f***ing pig. Those were certainly the days, look at it now, penniless greedy twats wanting something for nowt, even if it’s got four new tyres, new MOT and a new clutch & flywheel they still want money off and about 5 years warranty. This job’s about f***ed at the moment, with no-one wanting to pay proper money for a proper car, the main reason being they haven’t got proper money, cars aren’t coveted anymore money and their money goes on Sky TV, McDonalds and eating out at shitty chain pubs twice a week - mind you, they don’t drink in pubs anymore, the greedy sods are down Tesco filling trolleys with cheap booze. Happy new year everyone, Roll on 2018!

I send ‘em electronically within a day or two so I get an email receipt. Quite why people are holding back log books in case of comebacks is beyond me. I thought I sell some shite but are your cars really that bad you expect them back?

To be fair many punters want to handle the log book & see it for themselves. Tippex over it as tidily as possible and if the question arises tell them that the owner had incorrectly entered the dealership’s details instead of on the yellow slip. A white lie that no one’s going to get hurt over.

Thanks but no complaints here. Made in the UK (according to the sticker) but tbh it could be made in Timbuktu for all I care. Btw, plenty of good stuff comes out of China, not just shite.

Yep, tbh I don’t think I’d bother with a secondhand part nowadays unless it was an engine or gearbox. Last week I bought a brand new starter motor for a p/x Shitron C4. Delivered to my front door, £36.66+Vat (£44) - why on earth would I want to give £30 to some skiprat car breaker for another 10yr old item that’ll be little better than the knackered one I already had, won’t get a receipt and certainly won’t get a year’s warranty. Brake calipers are another example - buying a half seized one from an abused car at a breakers doesn’t make much sense to me when for £20 more you can get a new one. At least being VAT registered does have some benefits

I believe you only make real money in the music business if you’re on to your third, or more, successful album. The first two successful ones will be repaying record company charges which are front loaded. Mind you, it’s also the merchandising and endorsement fees that bring in the money.

Haha, they HATE used parts - years ago a chancer on a 10yr old Astra refused my initial offer because “an old alternator wouldn’t look nice in his engine bay”!!! When I pointed out his engine bay already had a 10yr old alternator he didn’t have a suitable response Anyhow he was given £50 & told not to contact me again. He got his alternator (or a drink depending upon the truth) and I got an arsehole off my back who I’d reluctantly sold the car too because at the time I thought he was a greedy awkward twat. As always, don’t sell to a twat.