BHM

I only every get a few comebacks per year but I properly mechanically prepare (if required) & test drive every car for at least 40 miles - usually more (I don’t have my own car & just use my stock). I also don’t promise punters the earth, when they leave me they are fully aware it’s not a new car & neither am I a new car showroom. As for the punters themselves you can usually tell those that may be trouble (although I normally chase away those during the buying process) and go off my gut feeling. Those that start demanding money or play the hard man are swiftly f***ed off. The one per year that politely phones with a complaint will be dealt with politely & the fault investigated. If I’m liable it’ll get fixed, if not it won’t. In the case of a battery, assuming it’s a proper retail sale & not a £300 shed, it’s easily diagnosed & £35-60 before VAT buys most new ones from the motor factors so that’s what I’d do.

ABSOLUTELY. As I wrote, I believe the vast variety of nationalities who’ve made the UK their home have “embraced our traditional values etc. etc.” and I’d like to add that I wholeheartedly welcome these people and have found they are an unalloyed joy to conduct business with due to their openhandedness and honesty. Indeed, I’d be more than happy to send someone else’s Granny to buy from them.

I don’t think anyone in (alleged) authority gives a stuff what Johnny Foreigner gets up to. There are easier targets. That means “US” if I need to spell it out.

I wouldn’t say 10% private with the remaining 90% being dodgy on eBay - there are plenty of genuine traders describing vehicles accurately. My car’s aren’t brand new but neither do I describe them as such. I trust you’re not holding up every advertiser on AT being whiter then white! I know of two “proper” pitches who advertise on there & they go through more Blu-Tak than me hiding dashboard bulbs. I’m not on Facebook but the couple of times my better half has shown me the ads many did look suspicious to me. Gumtree & Shpock. What do you expect from sites advertised as bargain basement & “Boot sale app”? On reading an advert & after a phone call I think if you trust your gut you’ll be fine. Personally I got sick years ago trying to source stock because every private seller I visited seemed to be a lying twat hiding faults hoping to shaft another private buyer - I trusted my gut & now only buy out of the trade unless it’s a p/x.

https://www.manheim.co.uk/campaigns/buyer-benefits

The trade’s changed quite a lot over the years, in addition to the reputable Asian dealers you’ll no doubt remember from years ago you’ll now find we have the pleasure of hosting many Eastern European dealers on these shores. You’ll find the Romanian, Polish & Lithuanians, not to mention the Bulgarians, Latvians & the occasional Belarusian - let me categorically assure you that all of these nationalities have keenly embraced our traditional values of fair play & common decency in business. You are virtually guaranteed a fair deal and they delight in offering first class cars at second class prices. They are particularly helpful to greedy, gullible trash expecting to ‘nick’ a cheap car & suddenly start trading for BIG BUCKS. However, due to language barriers occasionally you may find that a “Business” advertisement has been inadvertently uploaded as a “Private” advertisement. In order to circumvent this error you may find cars being sold on behalf of a friend/relative/neighbour/the-next-door’s-dog etc. and strange meeting places that look suspiciously like a knackered old unit on an industrial estate although, they are in fact the sellers private address (or should that be the other way round!?!!) I’ve confused myself now so I’m off for a lie down.

Yep, it’s getting harder & harder to buy stock and the days of absolutely nicking something (rather than just getting it a couple of hundred quid cheaper) are long gone. The main dealers are giving strong p/x bids to get business, half of the older trade-ins are well & truly knackered and anything with vaguely nice miles makes an absolute fortune. Those of you wanting to know where the ‘secret’ places to buy half price, mint, ready to retail stock are located shouldn’t hold your breaths.

Birmingham. It'll be a good 'un!!!! Personally I wouldn't buy a f***ing bag of sweets from Birmingham.

I must confess I thought they were joke shop stickers! Anyhow I would of thought the fact they’re within the curtlidge of a property and therefore not on the public highway would render this prosecution a non-starter. The fact it’s a ‘public’ house is irrelevant, the land is privately owned and is in control of the person who manages the pub.

Yes, but you get what you pay for. If they can only afford something like a £300 car then obviously they should expect to buy a heap of shit. Quite frankly half of the buyers can’t afford tax or insurance anyway & should take public transport. Running around fannying about with scrapyards, locksmiths etc. on a banger to get the locks working isn’t worthwhile. I guess it’s different opinions on the best use of your time but I’d just bomb it out as it is. It’s just a knackered old Clio & will always be just a knackered old Clio. You can’t polish a turd.

That’s nowt compared to what some of the swappers on Dealer Auction must be making them at the moment

I like a few cheapies to sell but even I wouldn't be putting much effort into a 13 year old Clio - the car's are shite & the greedy buyer won't be much different. It's only worth buttons and rather than faff for ages, if it looks like you'll be getting too involved just sell the heap of shit as it is. All them old Clios are fit for is the bottom dollar market.

Pure scum & you are correct - half of the Eastern Europeans now conduct business in a similar vein. Unfortunately people must entertain these bottom/last/best price twats otherwise they wouldn’t waste their time. I reckon that’s why we now have this horrible way of doing business - if everyone was stronger & sacked off the scum then they’d either have nowhere to go or have to improve their manners. Why on earth we are expected to accept this third world way of doing business is beyond me. I don’t & won’t entertain them.

Hahaha, don’t worry, you’re paying their wages indirectly.

The arse must be falling out of the 500 market cos now they are beginning to look cheap enough even for me

Yep, and pitches are slowly disappearing.

Two advisories I hate on MOTs as they kill a car stone dead - Oil leak & corrosion.

+1. Silver assured counts for virtually f*** all.

I used to think the union was great but I’ve had a belly full of the whinging over the last decade that now I’d be happy to give Sturgeon & Salmond their wish. I’d insist on a physical border, they can start their own monetary system & any jock taking our shilling south of the border would be given a one-way ticket to find work in their own bonnie land and the country would not get a penny in subsidies - it would have to survive on its own. Within 5 years there’d be tumbleweed blowing along Edinburgh’s Royal Mile.

I’m with Ocsltd on this - it sounds a load of old cobblers to me and anyone naive enough to think the public would not lie about such a matter are deluding themselves. He was there in person therefore he is not entitled to a refund of his deposit irrespective on the amount. Firm but fair, they get what they’re entitled to, nothing more, nothing less. He wouldn’t be getting a brass farthing in credit from me.

All that that great long list from VAG says to me is cut the f**ker out & reprogramme the ECU. Before any “right” thinking folk think of boring me with eco-babble or MOT compliance please do NOT bother. I know it’s not only VW at fault but these DPFs are a frigging nightmare. Why on Earth it only dawned on Honda with its 1.6 to stick it by the exhaust manifold so it’s always red hot seems strange to me. Every manufacturer acknowledges DPFs need to be red hot to be kept clean & execute the occasional regen but they choose the install them a few feet away right under the car. DPF, DMF & cambelts - if you’re lucky enough to get the treble then many 8-10 year old family hatchbacks are beyond economical repair. Depressing.

Ahhh, those were the days!

I think you’ve answered it yourself - it sounds simply like it needs a replacement DPF if your initial diagnosis is correct. Assuming it’s got a few miles on it’s back then you can forget all the regen guff that’s spouted - at 99% full you ain’t going to clean out anything that’s full of compacted soot. Unfortunately DPFs should be viewed along the lines of cambelt kits & DMFs - they need money chucking at them every so often.

Refer to DVLA website. It’s all on there & no there’s no dodge around it.