BHM

Lucky you! I’m currently smoking a 2.9 turbo petrol T6 & get 19mpg.

As soon as I hear mechanic I stand back & let them get on with it. On the rare occasion they are a mechanic it’s obvious as they smile, crack a joke, do a few cursory checks & then say “let’s go for a drive”. The non-mechanic-mechanics start pissing about making complete twats of themselves (as your comments above state) and any general questions from the punter I give the ‘mechanic’ a chance to answer. The charade normally lasts a couple of minutes before I put them out of their misery and ask “what sort of a mechanic are you?” to which they normally smile & look relieved. Anyhow here are some of ‘my’ reasons for not buying; 1) Customer thought the cable ties holding on the wheeltrims were holding the wheels onto the car. 2) “Sorry, I want a diesel & hate orange”. The punter did a 300 mile round trip to see an orange, petrol Freelander. 3) “I wanted a diesel” The same bloody Freelander!! A pair of chumps drove almost 6 hours from South Wales to the North East and it was now 7pm on a miserable winter’s night. I just laughed in their faces, told them to enjoy their journey back, plipped the central locking & shut the front door in their faces. 4) “The cambelt’s not been changed”. On a petrol Honda Jazz. The best part is her “mechanic” agreed with her. The “mechanic” works in the valeting bay at a local VW specialist........ 5) “There aren’t enough chips on the windscreen for an 8 year old car” Apparently that equates to the windscreen being replaced after a serious accident. 6) A punter didn’t like the colour of the steering wheel (03ish Vitara with grey dashboard & steering wheel).

Half decent cars, I sell older ones & they seem to take the miles ok. Don’t expect them to handle like a Ferrari though. I’m guessing you don’t want a family bus like a Galaxy?

It’s dead alright. As for Toyotas I’d imagined Aurises would be good news - I’ll think again. First one, petrol, average mileage, one owner, FSH, like new. Sat here for two months without a single call & only sold because a man came to view a Peugeot van & suddenly changed tack Second one, low mileage diesel, FSH, dog cock red, a few marks but cheapest in the UK. About 99% of calls were a waste of my time & after 3 weeks it went to the only sensible man I spoke to. I don’t bother anymore trying to work out what sells because what I think is decent clean stock with FSH sits here without opening the door to a customer yet I’ve had shite with crumpled wheel arches & rippled quarters go out for a nice little wage. To be honest a compound full of absolute shit (at shit money) would do me at the moment.

Haha, after saying we were harsh GG then complete wrote them off by adding that he thought they were irrelevant. Now that is harsh How come many professional services who charge for their services have no embarrassment in canvassing for free assistance? Answer: Cheeky bastards with no shame.

I’m surprised it has a following - half of the population won’t even remember Only Fools & Horses.

I suspect neither of those companies will work up front to be subsequently messed around on the old “I’ll transfer the money tomorrow” routine when it comes to shilling time.

It must of been all of the motorbike men who couldn’t be arsed getting a car licence.

On the face of it it appears very good & user friendly. It’s the first one of these ‘multi site search tools’ (whatever they’re called) that I’d recommend. As an aside, after trying a few searches & leaving it in ascending price order I couldn’t help but notice all you AT advertisers were lower down with your big money prices.

+1 Here! Here! Just another parasite living off our sweat.

Possibly.

Talking about overpriced BMWs an eBayer contacted me today offering me his 16yr old 318 p/x for £1000. Perhaps he’s related to this chancer.

Which part of him are you wanting to rub? Funnily enough I had plenty of calls & emails (of the arsehole variety) last week too - but only 2 converted into sales. It’s bloody desperate at the moment & the punters don’t seem to have a pot to piss in - I’m even been asked if there’s road tax on them to get them home!

If it’s old shape (I don’t know about newer shape) Merivas are bad news at the best of times & the plonker Rangey will only attract scum. As for Minis unless you’re a specialist you won’t make much money on them - most traders I know have given up on them, including me. I made money on one once & that was only because the dealership thought the gearbox was shafted when it was only the gear linkage. You’ve said it all really when you say there’s been loads of views on AT - two of them are simply arsehole dreamer cars. Sorry, but rather than them three I’d rather have three old shitters with £500 wiped across them - small profit, quick return. You’ll be smoking the Mini & Rangey next Easter.

It’ll be getting bidded up - the seller clearly has big ideas.

Let’s be honest, it’s no surprise to anyone that sales are down. In fact it seems to be on just about anything and certainly isn’t restricted to vehicles.

I go through 12 tins of satin black every 5 to 6 weeks.

Yes and you can guess the sort of person who knows their rights with regards to Section 75 - exactly the sort of person who’d invoke it for the slightest reason!

If you all really feel the need to entertain the internet gazers with videos (what a load of bollocks but I suspect even I'll be doing it in a few years) then why not present the video wearing a 70's porno 'tache and overdub some seedy 70's music. This should fit in quite well as I'm convinced about 95% of the nutters looking & emailing about cars are only doing so after finishing looking at whatever brand of filth turns them on.

Frances finest. At least you got to the bottom of it.

There’s no way on earth I’d run a business doling out ‘tick’ to penniless punters. At least in this game it’s full money then you get the keys.

Yes, these serious buyers rarely make good on their word. I’m hard balling everyone at the moment - I’m cheap & they’re still wanting lumps knocked off. Funnily enough though, these characters aren’t cheap when valuing their scrap p/xs - £300 for a 15yr old petrol Ibiza with 150K including (and I quote) “a few electrical issues”. It’s as Umesh says that annoys me - the arrogance of some folk telling me how I’m going to run my business & how much I’ll going to sell to them for. I’ve had similar to him along with the ultimatum “take it or leave it, I’ll tell you what the deal is”! I decided to leave it.

I wonder if these “coffee shop twats” are the same people who are emailing me asking “do I discount”. Three this morning (they must all be up early) all along the same lines and all clearly passing time - it’s funny how these characters can never lift up the phone. They haven’t seen the bloody car and they’re already wanting me to undercut myself. Bloody vultures, I think it’s going to be a loooooong Saturday

Let’s be honest, on the face of it it doesn’t look greedy money, does it? VAT is at the landlord’s discretion (as daft as that sounds) - a long winded discussion with an accountant will explain it but basically the landlord must be VAT Registered & then has an option to tax.