BHM

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Everything posted by BHM

  1. TALES FROM THE BOTTOM END OF THE MARKET (may the Lord give me strength!) PUNTER1: Hi, I phoned yesterday about the Polo. ME: Sorry, it's sold. PUNTER1: It was yesterday, you might remember me. You said it was still for sale. ME: Yes that was yesterday. Today it's now sold. PUNTER1: But you said yesterday it's still for sale. ME: Yes, that was yesterday. Now it's today & it's been sold. PUNTER1: But you said it was still available. ME: Goodbye, Sir. Thanks for your call. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PUNTER2 (in person): The car's a 3 door!!! ME: Yes it is, it's the one you & your husband phoned me about 3 times yesterday. PUNTER2: But..but..they're shite to get into the back of. I didn't know it was a 3 door. ME: Yes they are shite to get into. Just leave it cos it's cheap & it'll sell soon enough. unfortunately she squeezes her ample frame into the drivers seat for a test drive, so I chuck her the keys & tell her to get on with it. On her return......... PUNTER2: You'll be reducing the price cos it's a 3 door & full of scratches. ME: No I won't, a 2007 Peugeot 207 HDI at a grand will sell soon enough. PUNTER2: Why not??? You have to!!!!!!! ME: No I don't, just leave it if your family can't squeeze into the rear seat. Go to Halfords, there are push bikes on the shelf costing more than this. PUNTER2: It's too much, it's one of the most expensive. I can get a cheaper one anywhere. ME: Really? A 2007 207 HDi at £1000 with a new MOT yesterday & it's too expensive? I'm not sure what planet you're from but you'd might as well just go & buy one of these cheaper ones. I can't find one on the internet so you must have a better search engine than I have. I then turn to the (thicko) husband & tell him what I think. The poor spineless wretch grabs his wife's hand "Come on, lets go!" and scurries off. Car sold 2 hours later (thank the Lord!)
  2. Exactly - it's hardly rocket science. If I believed "expert" valuations on 10yr old Ford Focuses I'd be bankrupt cos I'd never sell another again at their prices. You can become obsessed with various professional third party gimmicks but in this game you need to have a "feel" for local pricing & desirability.
  3. I can honestly say "don't start doing so now"
  4. Start changing the bulbs & stop when the warning disappears. Remember to lock & unlock the car after each bulb so it resets otherwise the warning will be illuminated. Why the krauts can't design a bulb warning that automatically disappears when the offending bulb has been replaced I'll never know.
  5. Customers! Don't you just love them!?!! Unfortunately MAP I can believe everything you just said. The cheek of the general public beggars belief. There is absolutely no home viewing service offered here, if they can't get themselves here then they can go elsewhere cos those that want their arses wiped before a viewing are a pain if they do buy. I learnt my lesson within the first few months after taking an early Smart car to someone's house. A lovely thing, they fucked about for four hours then eventually bought. A week later they decided the standard fitment cassette player wasn't good enough for them & started demanding a CD unit. It went on for months with Trading Standards involved (in hindsight obviously biased but I was as green as grass then), phone calls, texts, threats to come down (funnily enough I'm still waiting - I've yet to get the second visit from any of these gobshites) and eventually I paid them off - all of this for a couple of quid. Now I'm wise to these chancers & wiser with regards to consumer legislation that's why I take a fair but very hard line otherwise the average buyer will saddle you up & ride your arse til it bleeds.
  6. I think you'll find more people going down the doorstepping route. If you've had the foresight, or luck, to own a large property you immediately eliminate second premises costs such as rent, rates etc. so you can price competitively and what you lose in time running around you surely gain by not sitting in a showroom waiting for a Billy Bunter to turn up. With every passing year more & more people are becoming internet savvy. With this comes with the ability to immediately compare prices and the way I see it is the secondhand market has almost split between the "price aware cash buyer" and the "need credit will pay whatever buyer" - the second of which are generally keeping the secondhand pitches employed. Apart from a few specialists, I'm afraid the days of cars being seen as luxury goods are long gone. Let's be honest, about 80% of punters are price lead (they'll buy what is obviously a pile of shit if it's £50 cheaper) and the average 10yr old family car is now cheaper than a decent pushbike - market forces, supply & demand but this situation is barmy on the face of it. I should say here that when I'm going on about doorsteppers I'm referring to people operating a genuine business from premises based at home - not some chancer flogging a few via Gumtree in the local pub car park.
  7. When you find the holy graille please let me know too!
  8. I think I'll start a petition to get the government to include emailers & phone call dreamers. I'd be quids in this week!
  9. It's the same at any auction at the moment. People are only trading-in because their car is knackered. I reluctantly went to the auctions yesterday, visited two sites and the cars fell into four groups; 1) Battered/trashed. 2) Obviously knackered mechanically (I was sick of hearing DMFs rattling). 3) Pure shite ran-up by the auctioneer. 4) A few "gems" that buyers paid through their noses for. I hope for their sake the cars are ok cos there's certainly no money left in the pot for repairs. Needless to say, I can home empty handed.
  10. Personally I wouldn't buy a bag of sweets in or near Birmingham, never mind a vehicle. However on a more serious note misdescribing must happen a lot as often when I get people round they often tell me they're pleasantly surprised - apparently some dealers even find it acceptable if they can't even get the car started! I though I sold some s*** but at least I tell 'em it's s***
  11. Never used them but at £135 for a low mileage X-Trail I'd be going on with it myself! I don't know how much you've got in it but if that's the best bid you can get then even if it needs 3 valets, clutch, DMF, service, MOT, 4 tyres, discs & pads etc. then it's worth going on with.
  12. Hahaha, yes especially punters wanting to offload dross such as Vectras. Mind you, with some of the valuations punters give me of their p/x they often have to pick me up from floor!
  13. Agreed - yet more common sense EXCEPT I don't waste my time with Gumtree as 99% are scum and no serious buyer quotes that website - even amongst ebayers it's seen as "for sh***"!
  14. Not wishing to sound negative but I thought this too. Is it the CRA2015 that's wrong or people's misinterpretation? Whatever legislation is out there will always result in people cherry picking the parts they feel benefit themselves & ignoring the parts that don't. Let's be honest, most complaints are either a clear cut "repair" or "tell them to sling their hook". Whenever I read a new post from a trader about some punter chewing on about a cheap old banger and the trader dancing to their tune I get dismayed - they need sweeping away firmly & promptly. Many problems, certainly at the lower end of the market, are the result of inadequate preparation, making false promises to make a sale and/or failing to deal firmly with customers with unrealistic expectations.
  15. Oh dear! Hounded for weeks!?!!! I find the phrase "fuck off & do what you like" works a treat with the bottom feeding chancers.
  16. Sorry, but I don't believe half of the stuff on the internet & I'll add this to the list. Who the fuck is going to pay more than a few grand for a shitty 1.3 Nova with side stripes on it, never mind two (remember it's an auction)?
  17. I have never & will never source a car for anyone, if it's something I'd buy anyhow then I've bought one & one the few occasions I've offered it it has never been what they wanted - they ALWAYS want something else OR they then check their insurance with the inevitable result. 2 tales; I once suggested (to a reasonably wealthy friend wanting a daughter's first car in the £3K range) that he gives me a list of MUST HAVES and MUST NOT HAVES, I'd tell him the maximum price, he'd then have to take the car or he would forfeit the deposit - which I said would be £500. This is a man who is NOT tight-fisted, who I've looked after his home when he was earning big bucks abroad, throws me the keys to his expensive car, we drink together, known each other for decades but when it came to the subject of a non-refundable £500 deposit you'd of thought I'd threatened to rape his daughter. A V70 D5 I bought & advertised normally. A flurry of interest. One chap says he definitely wants it cos it's bright red. I answer it's shiny but I'd describe it as a wine red. Anyhow, I confirmed the colour name to this Volvo "expert" (if memory serves it was something like Ruby Red Metallic) and even gave him the colour code. The old chap drives 200 miles to be with me by 9am on the Saturday morning. He sits for a few seconds clearly "having words" with his wife and gets out with a face like thunder - clearly he's not happy. To cut a VERY long story short, we get into an argument over the colour & eventually he gets his copy of the advert that he'd printed. LO & BEHOLD!! HIS PRINTER WAS FAULTY & MY RUBY RED CAR APPEARED BRIGHT RED WITH A BLUE HALO AROUND IT & BROWN TYRES!!!! When he still continued to chew-on (about 15 minutes of me being polite in deference to his age) I showed him the advert on my phone and eventually had to point out that "NONE OF MY CARS COME WITH A BLUE HALO & BROWN TYRES. YOU ARE WRONG, IT'S YOU WHO'S FUCKED UP NOT ME". I pressed his Mrs. for an answer, laughed in his face & told him to leave. So Matt, if you REALLY fancy risking your redundancy go for it. But honestly, please DON'T.
  18. Matt, turn the tables on yourself and have a think as though you're a potential customer. Why would someone looking for a car come to you to find it? The internet's a powerful tool that is available even to someone living in a mud hut in the middle of Outer Mongolia, never mind punters in the U.K. No one buying cheap bangers or run of the mill cars has a use for this service and more importantly for you, if you even managed to source cheap new cars through the dealer network (highly unlikely) then the profit isn't there for you. As for high end motors, lets say Porsche/Ferrari. Why would a prospective purchaser come to you rather than a dealer? and good luck getting a discount there. Then as you'll only be taking a deposit how are YOU going to finance these new(ish) cars to get them from your supplier to the customer? If you're expecting to get a sale or return deal then you don't know this game very well. Finally, (and I'm making an assumption here) if you haven't had experience of the general public & how they behave regarding money then you're in for an awful surprise - they'll fuck you around until the cows come home UNTIL it's time to show some financial commitment and it's that time that sorts the wheat from the chaff. Even assuming all of the above paragraphs fall into place for you then you've got this paragraph to deal with! Honestly Matt, save your time & redundancy money. Go & buy a few from the auction & then you'll get some real experience in this game from purchase through to sale because believe me, there's plenty inbetween 'the purchase' to 'the sale' that anyone new to this game really doesn't appreciate.
  19. Hi, as you've mentioned 4 websites on your original posting that are failing you, assuming your sales expectations are realistic in today's financial pressured times, then I'd perhaps question whether my adverts really are written as well as I think, are the photos really that good & are my prices really reasonable? What's your stock profile?? I've never took the plunge with AT as being a small operation at the lower end of the market I couldn't justify the fees & as for a website, well, unless someone knew my website address they're not going to find me on the 5th (or 25th) page of Google - they'll simply find you via the main platform. I think a lot of your advertising focus may depend on your stock profile & aiming it at the correct audience. I'm sure for "specialised" or newer cars then AT is the way to go. A couple of the main dealers I've bought trade-ins from recently have said Motors is doing ok for them, oddly enough they say it's an older crowd buying from there. Personally I think Gumtree's ok for selling a filthy £30 cooker or a set of scuffed alloys with half-bald tyres but that's about the financial limit on that website. I'm sure others will disagree but I reckon it's a waste of time - I wouldn't even spend time uploading a car even if it was free to use. The same with Facebook as most on there seem to be the part-time brigade or those masquerading as "private" but in reality "full-time selling pure shite" but again, I'm sure others will disagree.
  20. A mid 90's Jag XJ6 3.2, burgundy, cream leather, 2 owners from new, 50,200 miles, FSH in virtually brand new condition - about 3 or 4 years ago, bought at the block. I'd never been in one & it suited me down to the ground, a diesel Focus would have the legs on it & certainly would give better than 23mpg but I loved it - I don't know why, I just did. If I'd had a garage I'd of kept it & I told the buyer the only reason he was buying was because I didn't have a decent garage. Anyhow £3000 on eBay, one local man came around looking for a deal "cos there's one at a Jag specialist for £4500" Eh??? Work that one out! So I politely sent him on his way. Two days later he was back on the phone declaring mine cleaner, that my FSH was full & the specialist's wasn't FULL but still trying to chip £100. I had the great pleasure of replying "Sorry Sir, you're a day late, it left London-bound yesterday with its new owner" The best thing was he obviously bought the other one as I regularly saw him driving it until I moved location.
  21. There's one born every minute
  22. Welcome! I look forward to more of your postings.