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Everything posted by BHM

  1. Oh dear, one of the 99% slipped through the net & visited my establishment today with a car valeter - i.e. self appointed know all mechanic. After an hour of insinuating the car was faulty, which it's not, we eventually got down to money. Needless to say that took another 30 minutes. When they realised I wasn't budging the money came out, an inspection of the documents took place, then, my God on a 9 year old car!!, ONE, yes ONE stonechip on the windscreen was noticed with the comment "that'll be an MOT failure so that'll be £250"!!!! At that point I blurted out "are you for fucking real?", chucked the car's documents on the roof, threw my hands in the air & told them "just go, I've had enough of you two, I'm not selling you the car, I'm sick of the pair of you" etc. etc. I honestly could of screamed at these greedy bastards - they'd worn me down!!!! Sorry but why on earth do just about every Pakistani British Asian (whatever the politically correct phrase) that I've met looking for a car feel the need to take the piss? I can deal with most people, the greedy white lowball tossers who can be chased away in 5 minutes, Indians, Nigerians (tell them immediately that's the price so if you don't like it we'll stop now), Kenyans, Zambians, Fijians, Eastern Europeans, Russians, homosexuals, transgenders, lesbians, atheists, vicars - all people that spring to mind over the last year or so BUT for some reason I find the average Pakistani mentality virtually impossible to understand.
  2. Good luck, I've formally threatened proceedings against a local gearbox specialist which responded with a phone call saying it'd be ready in a week. A month later I'm still waiting so I need to start the ball rolling for a small claim but it's easy enough & straight forward online. I've not paid anything yet as the car's still in bits a year on (I've been busy moving house & business and forgot about it) but it's still dumped in his corner. Not the usual place I'd normally use & I certainly won't be going back! Anyhow, speak to the gearbox man first, if you get the runaround from him follow the procedure to the letter and instigate proceedings. I'd go & get the car if possible, but in my case it's immovable & parked behind about 6 other jobs he has in.
  3. No. It looks dodgy. Why do you feel the need to hide a vehicle's identity? No offence intended, just my opinion based on the fact I hate seeing them on a car.
  4. True. Remember about 12 years ago when for a few months you couldn't raffle a big 4x4 & the only place that'd accept one of Land Rover's products were a Land Rover dealer? I can't afford any of their products now! It's all scare mongering at the moment & as vehicles evolve & the market place will follow suit based upon supply & demand, just as any market does throughout history & the world. Believe me, if the arse temporarily falls out of diesel car prices I assure you there are plenty of skint punters who will be more than happy to hoover up some cheap, good mpg, shite in the short term.
  5. This man sounds like a dreamer milking us for free information, if you're stupid enough to waste your time. **** him, he's a nuisance.
  6. The question "is it immaculate?" I always answer negatively & tell them any dealer who tells them it is is clearly a liar & don't bother going there - used cars by their very definition cannot be immaculate. 20% of the time they agree & come & view. The other 80% start whinging & usually add that they've been to see a few that were described as immaculate but clearly weren't. But you won't get through to these punters with this mentality. I think most of "dick" customers would be like that no matter what, champagne taste, lemonade money and thinking they're lawyers after speaking to a couple of their mates. I bet a couple of times per month I tell a punter they need to either increase their budget or lower their expectations.
  7. About 5 years ago I lost a sale on a car because the wheeltrims were tie wrapped onto the wheels. They thought the tie wraps were holding the wheels to the car. It was a newly-single woman car shopping & taking advice from her 14 year old son. Bearing in mind the obvious situation I politely explained & even offered to remove them for her, but of course it fell on deaf ears as us big nasty car dealers are always shafting over defenceless women. A shame cos she was a nice person & the car was spot-on - wheeltrims aside!
  8. No, the bastards have never done anything special for me & if something's cheap it's cheap for a reason.
  9. Sometimes I have no idea what is going on in punters heads - I sell a bit of cheap dross (so not quite in your Audi territory) but it's all safe & sound. I've just shown someone a small car - it's cheap because it's got plenty of miles on it & was a p/x. 2007, Fiesta, one owner from new, FSH, recent tyres all round, recent full exhaust system, runs like a dream, good spec. etc. A punter has walked away to think about it. It ticks all the boxes & I'm punting it out at £700 to move it on quick. Her car is knackered, she'd seen 2 others today which were both faulty, mine has absolutely no problems at all & if the daughter was old enough to drive she'd get it to smash up, sorry I mean learn her roadcraft - what the hell do punters want for pushbike money? Good luck with the Audi, everything goes in the end but punters nowadays want the earth.
  10. Sorry, but isn't this part of the risks of buying at auction & the reason retail customers pay us a wage? It's shite when you buy a knacker but the way I see it is it's part of the game & you have to get on with it.
  11. I don't do texts with punters but the buyer of a heap of shit I sold took to texting at 3 in the morning. When I switched on my phone the next morning I decided to politely, but firmly, respond and made it clear this was the one & only text I'd send him. How silly off me! My efforts were rewarded with 4 more texts of pure drivel, lies & threats. I'm not sure what the saddest part is; is it the substandard English, zero grammar & shortened text words to save a couple of key strokes they use OR the pure drivel they spout?
  12. No chance whatsoever. The sort of man who can't afford to insure his car immediately isn't the sort of man I'd trust to take his details from. I can just imaging one of these punters pranging their car on the way home (or two months later saying you'd insured it for them), their details being incorrect, the insurer bouncing the claim & it ending up back in your lap. I know you can cover yourself legally with the paperwork but why bother? Tell them to arrange day insurance if they need it. I assure you that you have NOT lost a sale cos you don't do it, a serious customer will be happy to sort their own insurance.
  13. Here's another example of what annoys me. This is a question regarding a 2006 Ford Focus 1.6 with FULL SERVICE HISTORY, was last serviced last week & has new discs & pads. All this is irrelevant really but the price isn't - it's a clean car & it's up for a paltry £999. What sort of man asks this on a £999 car??? They boil my piss.
  14. A friend & fellow trader had exactly the same on Friday night with a family member. He left to think about it (that's a new one!!) & on Saturday won't answer his phone. As for MOT places I only use a couple & both of them know that I use my own mechanic so they ain't looking for work from me.
  15. Here here! I'm unsure why a few unpleasant individuals feel they have the right to lie to me, insult my intelligence, misrepresent themselves by using English sounding names that I suspect aren't their names, sometimes attempt to disguise their accent (it soon slips upon hearing a few home truths), often claim to be private buyers but are in fact traders and generally behave in a manner that any decent human being would find reprehensible.
  16. Haha, I thought that. I couldn't believe what I was reading that I reread the original paragraph twice. That's because the accent is usual accompanied by an offer so absurd it's verging on the offensive. However you definitely have a point because I certainly mentally switch-off the moment I hear their accent & just wait for the drivel to spew out of their mouths - which doesn't take long! I believe respect goes a long way but you want to try telling them boys. A deal is never a deal with them, they'll turn up mob handed 3 hours late & expect to waste hours of your time insulting your intelligence constantly trying to chip away at the price. I welcome anyone irrespective of ethnicity, religion, sexual persuasion, nationality & political beliefs but I can count on the fingers of one hand (actually only 40% of those fingers) that I've had an easy deal with Asian community - I've actually had more success selling to Nigerians living in London coming up to the grim north.
  17. I couldn't agree more, the genuine folks are decent - unfortunately 80% of contact aren't genuine. They're the Arseholes. TBH a customer is only someone who buys, NOT those who don't.
  18. Doesn't it!! Also when they feel the need to tell you; "I'm a serious man" (yeah right!) "I've an unlimited budget" (in person, on his hands & knees, inspecting the tyres on a £600 banger) "I'm not a messer" (normally followed by "I'll have to speak to the Mrs.) "I'll come NOW for the right deal" (Then ask whereabouts in the country you are, normally followed by "How close is that to London/Birmingham?") "I'm not fussy, I'm only buying it for a couple of months cos I've a new Audi/BMW/Merc on order" (in person, crawling all over the car & worrying about it only having 6 months MOT) To summarise, if I'm reincarnated I will NOT have a job dealing with the general public.
  19. I do that but the cheek of the greedy unrealistic scum boils my piss.
  20. Just about everything, but here's a few. The greedy bastards who phone want the best, but have shit money to spend AND then want a warranty. They all want to know the car end of a fart, service history, cambelt (I even told him the Peugeot dealership that changed it so he can phone to confirm), the fact it was just serviced by us 2 days ago, the new tyres it's just had & then wants to know what's the bottom price!! FFS it's a low mileage 2007 Peugeot with FSH, new service, new tyres & cambelt for £999!!!!! What do they want? Half an hour free ride on my Mrs as well?? The same greedy bastards on the phone who then introduce a trade in late into the deal. He won't answer a straight question (how difficult is "How long have you had the car for?"?), always starts talking shite. Needless to say his trade-in was pathetic, an 04 Astra, no history, owned it six weeks - wants £500. £50 would be nearer the mark. Overly optimistic p/x prices (who cares if you paid £2500 last year for a 2.2 petrol Signum). Arsehole midnight emailers obviously without a pot to piss in. Greedy London based chancers expecting a car to be delivered from the North East for £50. Punters offering a "cash deal" then wanting to pay by bank transfer, cheque, card (anything but cash!!) and asking for a fully itemised receipt. A cash deal to me means cash, f*%+ off & don't come back. Scum who phone 11 months later complaining their car has just failed the MOT & demanding rectification monies somewhere close to what the paid a year ago for the car or they'll phone Trading Standards. Usually the online MOT reveals they've failed on a drop link, brake pads, tyres etc. but they want £1000 for major works (I.e. Taking the piss). Punters coming for an appointment at let's say 2pm. If I wasn't there by the allotted time I'd phone to say I'm late, and give my new e.t.a. They turn up an hour or more late without a hint of an apology. Sometimes I give these ignorant & arrogant bastards very short shrift. Punters on the phone "hold the car for me, I'm definitely buying it". I stopped doing that years ago for obvious reasons. Punters viewing a car then mention there's a third party involved. If they mention their daughter etc. needs to be involved before they've test driven then I refuse the test drive. Bring EVERYONE who has a say in the deal. Fussy pillocks (usually VAG men), crawling all over a £2000 car like it's a new Veyron. On their hands & knees at every corner looking down the sides for any dimples etc. They then return from the test drive & proceed to do the same again for another 15 minutes!! If they haven't bashed it on the test drive it's going to look the bloody same as when they set off, surely!?!!!!! Rant over (for now). Basically I'm annoyed by all of the "Champagne taste, lemonade money" twats that buy cheap cars.
  21. Bloody bikes, I gave up on them about 15 years ago after a half-blind pensioner in a Porsche 911 pulled out in front of me. I got the old "Sorry, I didn't see you" line. That was enough for me.
  22. I don't swap texts with potential customers but I cut & paste this into eBay messages whenever I need to - funnily enough I've yet to meet one of these bottom dollar merchants.