BHM

Haha, I thought that. I couldn't believe what I was reading that I reread the original paragraph twice. That's because the accent is usual accompanied by an offer so absurd it's verging on the offensive. However you definitely have a point because I certainly mentally switch-off the moment I hear their accent & just wait for the drivel to spew out of their mouths - which doesn't take long! I believe respect goes a long way but you want to try telling them boys. A deal is never a deal with them, they'll turn up mob handed 3 hours late & expect to waste hours of your time insulting your intelligence constantly trying to chip away at the price. I welcome anyone irrespective of ethnicity, religion, sexual persuasion, nationality & political beliefs but I can count on the fingers of one hand (actually only 40% of those fingers) that I've had an easy deal with Asian community - I've actually had more success selling to Nigerians living in London coming up to the grim north.

I couldn't agree more, the genuine folks are decent - unfortunately 80% of contact aren't genuine. They're the Arseholes. TBH a customer is only someone who buys, NOT those who don't.

Doesn't it!! Also when they feel the need to tell you; "I'm a serious man" (yeah right!) "I've an unlimited budget" (in person, on his hands & knees, inspecting the tyres on a £600 banger) "I'm not a messer" (normally followed by "I'll have to speak to the Mrs.) "I'll come NOW for the right deal" (Then ask whereabouts in the country you are, normally followed by "How close is that to London/Birmingham?") "I'm not fussy, I'm only buying it for a couple of months cos I've a new Audi/BMW/Merc on order" (in person, crawling all over the car & worrying about it only having 6 months MOT) To summarise, if I'm reincarnated I will NOT have a job dealing with the general public.

I do that but the cheek of the greedy unrealistic scum boils my piss.

You're probably correct.

Online

Just about everything, but here's a few. The greedy bastards who phone want the best, but have shit money to spend AND then want a warranty. They all want to know the car end of a fart, service history, cambelt (I even told him the Peugeot dealership that changed it so he can phone to confirm), the fact it was just serviced by us 2 days ago, the new tyres it's just had & then wants to know what's the bottom price!! FFS it's a low mileage 2007 Peugeot with FSH, new service, new tyres & cambelt for £999!!!!! What do they want? Half an hour free ride on my Mrs as well?? The same greedy bastards on the phone who then introduce a trade in late into the deal. He won't answer a straight question (how difficult is "How long have you had the car for?"?), always starts talking shite. Needless to say his trade-in was pathetic, an 04 Astra, no history, owned it six weeks - wants £500. £50 would be nearer the mark. Overly optimistic p/x prices (who cares if you paid £2500 last year for a 2.2 petrol Signum). Arsehole midnight emailers obviously without a pot to piss in. Greedy London based chancers expecting a car to be delivered from the North East for £50. Punters offering a "cash deal" then wanting to pay by bank transfer, cheque, card (anything but cash!!) and asking for a fully itemised receipt. A cash deal to me means cash, f*%+ off & don't come back. Scum who phone 11 months later complaining their car has just failed the MOT & demanding rectification monies somewhere close to what the paid a year ago for the car or they'll phone Trading Standards. Usually the online MOT reveals they've failed on a drop link, brake pads, tyres etc. but they want £1000 for major works (I.e. Taking the piss). Punters coming for an appointment at let's say 2pm. If I wasn't there by the allotted time I'd phone to say I'm late, and give my new e.t.a. They turn up an hour or more late without a hint of an apology. Sometimes I give these ignorant & arrogant bastards very short shrift. Punters on the phone "hold the car for me, I'm definitely buying it". I stopped doing that years ago for obvious reasons. Punters viewing a car then mention there's a third party involved. If they mention their daughter etc. needs to be involved before they've test driven then I refuse the test drive. Bring EVERYONE who has a say in the deal. Fussy pillocks (usually VAG men), crawling all over a £2000 car like it's a new Veyron. On their hands & knees at every corner looking down the sides for any dimples etc. They then return from the test drive & proceed to do the same again for another 15 minutes!! If they haven't bashed it on the test drive it's going to look the bloody same as when they set off, surely!?!!!!! Rant over (for now). Basically I'm annoyed by all of the "Champagne taste, lemonade money" twats that buy cheap cars.

Bloody bikes, I gave up on them about 15 years ago after a half-blind pensioner in a Porsche 911 pulled out in front of me. I got the old "Sorry, I didn't see you" line. That was enough for me.

I don't swap texts with potential customers but I cut & paste this into eBay messages whenever I need to - funnily enough I've yet to meet one of these bottom dollar merchants.

Snap & there's no point in buying stock with a hung cloud over them (in the buyers eyes) when there are enough straight cars out there - & sometimes they're bad enough! I suspect many aren't declared as such & I bet the Gumtree/Facebook brigade certainly don't - from what I hear most weeks in the trade there's always a tale about the latest greedy bottom-dollar merchant who's bought cheap via "social websites", wonder why their car won't start the next morning, expect a third party mechanic to get involved speaking to the seller (WTF!!) & wonder why the seller won't answer the phone. Wonder indeed!!

It was cheap in the hall cos it wasn't wanted. We've all been taken by the temptation of a low price, but as for it being below forecourt price that must mean with regards to CAP figures - if I relied upon their valuations on 50% of cars I'd be in the poor house. We all do it, but this is your second. I wouldn't rush to make it a third.

+ 1

You've answered you post yourself. Desperate cars, as I always say those "prestige German car buyers" are nowt but penniless greedy big-talkers - they shit themselves at anything less than 50mpg. It's the same with all VAG cars as far as I can tell. Give me a nice Honda man any day of the week. Good luck - I recently just wiped my nose on a one owner, 2007 1.8T petrol Skoda Octavia estate with FSSH & new tyres after it took up residence for 7 months. In the end I priced it so cheaply that a Scottish taxi driver bought it!

They normally take them abroad to sell abroad - have you seen the price of secondhand cars in Eastern Europe!?!!! In Poland all of the mega mileage shite from Germany heads over the border to Poland. Although the Polish can only register LHD cars (there was talk of accepting RHD sometime in the future) it's worth them buying our cast-offs, taking it 1200 miles across Europe then ripping out the dashboard, steering gear etc. & still make a good profit. I once saw on a side street, amongst the communist-era apartment blocks, a couple of back-street boys starting work on a RHD Octavia that had been absolutely pancaked - the A-post was totally collapsed on one side! One weekend with the aid of scaffold poles & ratchet steel ropes (whatever they're called!) they eventually got it back into a vaguely Octavia-shaped roof then began ripping the guts out of the front & installed LHD running gear. God knows how on earth they ever got the doors to fit & it must of been finished off with about 200kg of body filler! Honestly, it was only fit for melting down into baked bean tins but as these boys presumably bought it in Blighty, dragged it across Europe & grafted like dogs on the piece of shit I guess it was worth it financially.

You can, or certainly could last year, at a post office for some odd reason but only once doing it that way - I had a whinging punter who bought a shitter so I took it back off him the next week (£500 Mondeo with a £10 cam cover gasket leak - the pillock had spent his money on tax, insurance, oil & filter, reconditioned the alloys (yes, really), valeted it & had the A/C regased but shit himself at the oil leak - try working that out!) & resold two weeks later to a man with a brain. I'm not sure of the situation if you tax it but don't transfer it into your name & have it for a few months.

Yep - that's why they make good money at the block, I guess. Only worth the hassle if you're repairing them properly yourself or not declaring them as write-offs, which seems to be the way nowadays.

No point nipping in to see them - you need to put a few shitters into them & see the condition they're returned to you in. £30 on a shit valet isn't worth a toss, a £40-60 valet that brings up an old pig to almost new is worth hundreds of £££.

You need eyes up your backside to buy anything at the Washington as there's PLENTY of shite to sift through there & from what I saw recently people are paying strong money for pisspoor cars - indeed look at yourself - you've got about £3500 in an 11yr old diesel 3 series. You could buy a proper one with a test drive from eBay for less than that! If I had to rely upon purchasing my stock from there I'd soon be in the Jobcentre. We've all been caught in the past, get rid for whatever peanuts you can get but if you think you're going to wipe your nose at the block with a "P/x direct" or "no name" sticker then you must be sniffing glue. As you're trading & are new to the game you must be doorstepping - I'd suggest you leave all of the mid range German dross to the pitch lads. The fussy, greedy & overcautious "prestige German car buyers" (all big talk, small pocket merchants imo) aren't what you'll make any money out of on your doorstep. Just my two penneth worth, I don't mean to sound harsh but this is how I see it.

I couldn't agree more. I sell plenty of cheap shite but in my experience the punters who can't even afford the entry fee are the sort of punters who expect you to maintain their car for them.

If they can't scrape together the money for a banger then they certainly wont be able to afford to maintain it = sort of punter likely to come back.

Don't auction it on eBay- classified ad it.

About £3K on a Subaru - bloody 3.0 Outback. Never had a serious problem with the 4 cylinder engines but them H6s are cursed - 3 with issues in a row - this was the last one I'll ever touch. Engine blew a gasket, a £1200 repair later, sold the car, promptly blew up 200 miles away, taken to court 6 months later for travel expenses etc. Full refund + expenses & a couple of quid in court costs & interest. Eventually got car back, dumped it in a corner for 6 months & ended up raffling it off on eBay "spares & repairs". The bloody car was cursed - everything associated with it turned to shit, it couldn't even go quietly for spares/repairs. On collection the buyer's transport driver started getting very stroppy cos it wouldn't start (sold with the engine knackered) & it ended with me threatening to smack him in the street. Thanks Beechdale Subaru for that car. I've never, and will never have, another 6 cylinder Subaru.

I'll keep this as brief as possible. I recently sold a two owner from new car, with FSH up to last May, £1500 car (not that that matters under CRA so please save me the lecture). My advert clearly stated "the car is due a service based on time so you should budget for a service". In addition to this I discounted the car by £100. Suspecting a fussy customer (greedy ebayer) who insisted upon a fully itemised receipt, I wrote these two following items on the invoice; 1 "advert states 'budget for service'" 2 "an additional £100 contribution made towards maintenance" Sods law, the engine light came on the next day, car drives perfectly but the fault code is EGR. Anyhow, because of the points 1 & 2 on the invoice I've chased away the customer. I believe I'm correct as it was declared in the advert for all to see AND as a goodwill gesture I'd already contributed an additional £100 towards maintenance which, because of point 1, I didn't need to do anyway. Your thoughts please.

Don't worry, it's dead. I'd wank myself off I was younger & could be bothered.

Obviously not that well known!