BHM

After last Friday I may as well of shut the door. I had a phone call today from a man 5 miles away - "I'm coming to buy NOW!!!" That was over 6 hours ago

6.5 hours!!!! They'll be as fussy as fuck & back on the phone in due course. After 90 minutes the other week I kicked two arseholes off the site Sir, you have the patience of a saint & truly deserve that medal.

Bloody hell, there's nowt like resurrecting an old post Anyhow, as a small operation I've never bothered with a card machine (cash is still king here) but on two occasions I've produced an invoice via PayPal which allows the buyer to pay by card (I told them to add 4%) as it appears on their statements as a purchase NOT a cash withdrawal so they could benefit from a card purchase interest-free deal.

Yes, my good run has come to an abrupt halt although I am drastically down on stock. A single phone enquiry from someone who was either drunk, high or mentally impaired and only one arsehole emailer. Time to get out the holiday brochures.

You'll definitely get good money through DA for them. Unfortunately

Probably. If so I hope they'll consider a feedback system just like Sytner Auction - it'll help weed out the shysters on there or make them clean up their act.

Must be a main dealer.

Absolutely flying here this week & have been for the last four weeks but I suspect it's just stopped dead. However the fact that my stock has been almost wiped out might have something to do with it. Now I'm back to not being able to replace but I only buy at my prices - the spaces will stay empty until prices settle down.

From what I gather most traders insurance has increased about 15% this year. Suck it up, don't get insured or make sure you're not over insured - they're your choices.

You don't want my valuation on a 16 year old Toyota with a knackered roof. All joking aside, I'd glue on (tidily) some roof material from top seam to the bottom seam between the two roof struts & duplicate on the other side so it looks uniform & thus correct to a casual punter OR perhaps get some Toyota/MR2 logos sewn over them. Far from ideal but it's the cheapest way as I assume it's just a cheap old knacker getting tarted up for sale.

+1 on this.

You've more chance seeing me nude pole dancing in Harrods window.

I'd call his bluff, tell him to sod off & see where he goes from there - my guess is nowhere like 99% of these chancers. His demister does work except for a small area of it - he's a piss taker although you already know that. I think you do have another way out as I get the impression you still have his caste off with a roof fault. Tell him to come & take back the CC because you could almost put your life on it that he knew the fault existed & my guess is that he really won't want it back. One thing for sure, don't give him an ear to whinge into, just tell him whatever you decide, with a very tight timeframe (unless it's fuck off as that doesn't require any action on his behalf) & leave it to him to act. Good luck, he sounds an absolute tosser, tbh I wouldn't be debadging & painting as punters causing hassle before they buy are the sort to cause bother but too late now.

I couldn't agree more

Haha, you're probably right, although every now & again everything slots into place, I get a run of BUYERS as opposed to messers & offensive emails and remember that this job's good when it's good. I just wish only the 25% of straight people contacted me rather than also the other 75%.

The trouble with the "super serious" is they sound convincing because in their own mind they are serious, rather than intentionally lying. Sometimes with some of these punters I have absolutely no idea what's going through their minds - last month I had a fella who I was convinced was pulling out money after the test drive. He then said "Right, I'll make an appointment at the bank on Monday & see if I can get a loan" FFS, another hour of my life pissed away on a dreamer. The death knell of any deal is when I hear either "Don't let it go, I'm coming to buy" (usually turn up late after looking at another car on the way & then have another 2 to see afterwards or are the fussiest bastards on earth) or the dreaded "I'm not a messer" - in my experience any punter who feels the need to say that is most definitely a messer and at that point nowadays I make an excuse & tell them to phone later.

With all respect Rory, I think discussing finance options on a car with a gentleman who can string together a sentence and has some basic courtesy is somewhat different to responding to an arsehole emailing at midnight on eBay offering £500 for a £1200 car who hasn't even got the basic manners to start with "Hi" or "Good evening", finish with "Thanks" or "Thank you", and omits their name. Something along these lines; 500 cash m8 4 ur car Sorry, but anyone who thinks that's worth responding too is kidding themselves.

Too true, I couldn't agree more. I'm a one man band with my compound next to me, I stopped Sundays about 3 years ago, IF I've received a deposit from a customer who has already viewed & test driven (so it's just 5 minutes for the money & log book exchange) then I'll let them come before 11 o'clock. Viewings, test drives & collections without a prior viewing are a no no. 99% of them tip up late without an apology, want to piss about like the messers they are, fancy driving a few (phone up about a £700 trade in & take a fancy to a £4000 Jeep) and then go away to think about it never to be seen again. They all seemed to be on their way to the shops, turned up late after a pub lunch or have simply exhausted themselves looking around B&Q every Sunday and fancied looking at cars instead of patio decking, lampshades & potted plants. Strangely about 4-5 years ago I often did a few on a Sunday teatime but now any sales are generally Mon/Tue & Thur/Fri with a busy Saturday perhaps once a month, but usually my Saturdays are dead (except yesterday) with the odd messer fancying a spin in one of my cars amongst the other 6 they're going to see. Dont be afraid to sack-off the Sunday brigade. If your cars are right & your prices are right the genuine punters will still be there on Monday.

You're kidding??? Because it's a waste of time. Occasionally it's worth replying just to take the piss but it's easier ignoring them. Here's an example, why should I reply to this cretin who seems oblivious to the price and basic grammar.

Self appointed "specialists" aren't much better in my opinion & are just as eager to ramp-up the bills as any main dealer. I just had a reminder yesterday when a customer phoned me, the first genuine come back I've had in 6 months. Nice chap, asked if I could help him as he'd only had it a week, a pleasure to deal with. Anyhow a 1.9 diesel VAG product that struggled to start so he got the AA to take it up the road to the local VAG specialist. The diagnosis was weak battery AND weak starter motor - somewhat optimistic at almost £500. Drove it to me, brand new battery and guess what, the starter motor works fine with a new battery. Who'd a thought it! So yes, based on main dealers (the local Audi dealer charges 50p per cable tie, £3 for a sump plug washer & £100 for a diagnostic plug in) and the specialists which search for work I'd say that a ramp is definitely a strong revenue stream.

Absolutely flying here this week - the bottom end of the market is screaming for cheap cars. Although they want cheap AND half-decent which fortunately I've got, whereas the tales I'm hearing is cheap normally means knackered at many outlets. A visit to the block yesterday resulted in me empty handed, I cannot believe the pure shite traders are buying & are obviously going to pass on to customers - the cheap stuff looked like scrap to my eyes, everyone was whinging that it's quiet and any finance applicants usually have a dire credit history. For once I'm glad I'm swimming at the bottom of the pond.

Coal fired power stations are all closing down, the government is virtually getting held to ransom over minimum electricity price guarantees for a couple of new nuclear power stations & there are already concerns about meeting current peak usage. Imaging with millions of electric cars, vans, buses & wagons (assuming they'll follow suit) adding to the electricity demand - there'll be plenty of vehicles but we'll be sat with candles in the house playing a board game, warming one room in your home with foraged wood in the Aga - it'll be like Georgian England except with an electric vehicle on the drive.

I repeat. Although feel free to exchange the word "nuisance" for "cunt".

I get enough arseholes emailing & on the phone without adding another question for them to bother me with "what's the reg. no.?" As I'm swimming at the bottom of the pond most of my punters are suspicious of everything anyway due to the fact that many cheapies sold elsewhere seem to be absolutely fucked (according to the greedy punters) or have a "tale" behind them such as being undeclared write offs. I think in this cuddly open society we now live in it doesn't compute why a dealer of any quality of car (good, bad or indifferent) wishes to hide the most basic thing from the general public. I'd always thought it was just so the public had to engage in conversation with you but from the responses here it seems to be with cloning & keeping the forecourt tidy As for cloning there are millions of cars on the road & as long as yours isn't the dodgy cloned car, so what? As for keeping the forecourt tidy I pull out the weeds once a week.

Haha, it beggars belief the stupidity of the general public - and it seems to be getting worse as money becomes tighter. It's a shame you got the backlash. I know what you mean, the man must think a clutch is the same price no matter what the car - the fucking idiot - I'd of like to have seen his performance down at Mr. Clutch Anyone with an ounce of sense or decency wouldn't complain about a fault that had been declared.