BHM

You're kidding??? Because it's a waste of time. Occasionally it's worth replying just to take the piss but it's easier ignoring them. Here's an example, why should I reply to this cretin who seems oblivious to the price and basic grammar.

Self appointed "specialists" aren't much better in my opinion & are just as eager to ramp-up the bills as any main dealer. I just had a reminder yesterday when a customer phoned me, the first genuine come back I've had in 6 months. Nice chap, asked if I could help him as he'd only had it a week, a pleasure to deal with. Anyhow a 1.9 diesel VAG product that struggled to start so he got the AA to take it up the road to the local VAG specialist. The diagnosis was weak battery AND weak starter motor - somewhat optimistic at almost £500. Drove it to me, brand new battery and guess what, the starter motor works fine with a new battery. Who'd a thought it! So yes, based on main dealers (the local Audi dealer charges 50p per cable tie, £3 for a sump plug washer & £100 for a diagnostic plug in) and the specialists which search for work I'd say that a ramp is definitely a strong revenue stream.

Absolutely flying here this week - the bottom end of the market is screaming for cheap cars. Although they want cheap AND half-decent which fortunately I've got, whereas the tales I'm hearing is cheap normally means knackered at many outlets. A visit to the block yesterday resulted in me empty handed, I cannot believe the pure shite traders are buying & are obviously going to pass on to customers - the cheap stuff looked like scrap to my eyes, everyone was whinging that it's quiet and any finance applicants usually have a dire credit history. For once I'm glad I'm swimming at the bottom of the pond.

Coal fired power stations are all closing down, the government is virtually getting held to ransom over minimum electricity price guarantees for a couple of new nuclear power stations & there are already concerns about meeting current peak usage. Imaging with millions of electric cars, vans, buses & wagons (assuming they'll follow suit) adding to the electricity demand - there'll be plenty of vehicles but we'll be sat with candles in the house playing a board game, warming one room in your home with foraged wood in the Aga - it'll be like Georgian England except with an electric vehicle on the drive.

I repeat. Although feel free to exchange the word "nuisance" for "cunt".

I get enough arseholes emailing & on the phone without adding another question for them to bother me with "what's the reg. no.?" As I'm swimming at the bottom of the pond most of my punters are suspicious of everything anyway due to the fact that many cheapies sold elsewhere seem to be absolutely fucked (according to the greedy punters) or have a "tale" behind them such as being undeclared write offs. I think in this cuddly open society we now live in it doesn't compute why a dealer of any quality of car (good, bad or indifferent) wishes to hide the most basic thing from the general public. I'd always thought it was just so the public had to engage in conversation with you but from the responses here it seems to be with cloning & keeping the forecourt tidy As for cloning there are millions of cars on the road & as long as yours isn't the dodgy cloned car, so what? As for keeping the forecourt tidy I pull out the weeds once a week.

Haha, it beggars belief the stupidity of the general public - and it seems to be getting worse as money becomes tighter. It's a shame you got the backlash. I know what you mean, the man must think a clutch is the same price no matter what the car - the fucking idiot - I'd of like to have seen his performance down at Mr. Clutch Anyone with an ounce of sense or decency wouldn't complain about a fault that had been declared.

I sacked off eBay auctions years ago for these reasons - benefit hungry white trash expecting the earth & Asians bidding at the last second resulting in either zero contact or wanting to collect in the middle of the night. The final straw for me was an 8 o'clock showing turning up at 11 o'clock at my home (they're always just on their way), 4 of them getting out of the Octavia, crawling all over the car then expecting to re-negotiate. When I get a pure heap of shit p/x I put it on eBay as a classified ad along with my other cars and make it clear what it is - as though the £100-200 asking price isn't clear enough - along with the line "ABSOLUTELY NO EMAILS - PHONE CALLS ONLY ON THIS & NO OFFERS WHATSOEVER" You'll still get a few emails asking for warranty, finance, swaps for mobile phones, women with a sob story wanting a car to last 3 years etc. but you obviously just ignore them. Anyone who you don't like the sound of on the phone should also just be ignored. However a serious punter, usually an even smaller trader than me, will turn up soon enough. The knack is don't be greedy - most of this shit would only return £100-150 or so at the block so that's what I advertise it at, once you've given the punter a few firm words on the phone the ones that buy always seem straight enough to me. The record speed of sale was a phone call in 90 seconds & cash in my hand in 15 minutes, but most take a few days. Obviously if you're forecourt is full of £30 grand Mercs this isn't for you, but one heap of shit parked for a couple of days next to my 2 grand gems isn't an issue.

Pure ****, that's what!

Oh dear, one of the 99% slipped through the net & visited my establishment today with a car valeter - i.e. self appointed know all mechanic. After an hour of insinuating the car was faulty, which it's not, we eventually got down to money. Needless to say that took another 30 minutes. When they realised I wasn't budging the money came out, an inspection of the documents took place, then, my God on a 9 year old car!!, ONE, yes ONE stonechip on the windscreen was noticed with the comment "that'll be an MOT failure so that'll be £250"!!!! At that point I blurted out "are you for fucking real?", chucked the car's documents on the roof, threw my hands in the air & told them "just go, I've had enough of you two, I'm not selling you the car, I'm sick of the pair of you" etc. etc. I honestly could of screamed at these greedy bastards - they'd worn me down!!!! Sorry but why on earth do just about every Pakistani British Asian (whatever the politically correct phrase) that I've met looking for a car feel the need to take the piss? I can deal with most people, the greedy white lowball tossers who can be chased away in 5 minutes, Indians, Nigerians (tell them immediately that's the price so if you don't like it we'll stop now), Kenyans, Zambians, Fijians, Eastern Europeans, Russians, homosexuals, transgenders, lesbians, atheists, vicars - all people that spring to mind over the last year or so BUT for some reason I find the average Pakistani mentality virtually impossible to understand.

Good luck, I've formally threatened proceedings against a local gearbox specialist which responded with a phone call saying it'd be ready in a week. A month later I'm still waiting so I need to start the ball rolling for a small claim but it's easy enough & straight forward online. I've not paid anything yet as the car's still in bits a year on (I've been busy moving house & business and forgot about it) but it's still dumped in his corner. Not the usual place I'd normally use & I certainly won't be going back! Anyhow, speak to the gearbox man first, if you get the runaround from him follow the procedure to the letter and instigate proceedings. I'd go & get the car if possible, but in my case it's immovable & parked behind about 6 other jobs he has in.

No. It looks dodgy. Why do you feel the need to hide a vehicle's identity? No offence intended, just my opinion based on the fact I hate seeing them on a car.

True. Remember about 12 years ago when for a few months you couldn't raffle a big 4x4 & the only place that'd accept one of Land Rover's products were a Land Rover dealer? I can't afford any of their products now! It's all scare mongering at the moment & as vehicles evolve & the market place will follow suit based upon supply & demand, just as any market does throughout history & the world. Believe me, if the arse temporarily falls out of diesel car prices I assure you there are plenty of skint punters who will be more than happy to hoover up some cheap, good mpg, shite in the short term.

This man sounds like a dreamer milking us for free information, if you're stupid enough to waste your time. **** him, he's a nuisance.

The question "is it immaculate?" I always answer negatively & tell them any dealer who tells them it is is clearly a liar & don't bother going there - used cars by their very definition cannot be immaculate. 20% of the time they agree & come & view. The other 80% start whinging & usually add that they've been to see a few that were described as immaculate but clearly weren't. But you won't get through to these punters with this mentality. I think most of "dick" customers would be like that no matter what, champagne taste, lemonade money and thinking they're lawyers after speaking to a couple of their mates. I bet a couple of times per month I tell a punter they need to either increase their budget or lower their expectations.

About 5 years ago I lost a sale on a car because the wheeltrims were tie wrapped onto the wheels. They thought the tie wraps were holding the wheels to the car. It was a newly-single woman car shopping & taking advice from her 14 year old son. Bearing in mind the obvious situation I politely explained & even offered to remove them for her, but of course it fell on deaf ears as us big nasty car dealers are always shafting over defenceless women. A shame cos she was a nice person & the car was spot-on - wheeltrims aside!

No, the bastards have never done anything special for me & if something's cheap it's cheap for a reason.

Sometimes I have no idea what is going on in punters heads - I sell a bit of cheap dross (so not quite in your Audi territory) but it's all safe & sound. I've just shown someone a small car - it's cheap because it's got plenty of miles on it & was a p/x. 2007, Fiesta, one owner from new, FSH, recent tyres all round, recent full exhaust system, runs like a dream, good spec. etc. A punter has walked away to think about it. It ticks all the boxes & I'm punting it out at £700 to move it on quick. Her car is knackered, she'd seen 2 others today which were both faulty, mine has absolutely no problems at all & if the daughter was old enough to drive she'd get it to smash up, sorry I mean learn her roadcraft - what the hell do punters want for pushbike money? Good luck with the Audi, everything goes in the end but punters nowadays want the earth.

Sorry, but isn't this part of the risks of buying at auction & the reason retail customers pay us a wage? It's shite when you buy a knacker but the way I see it is it's part of the game & you have to get on with it.

I don't do texts with punters but the buyer of a heap of shit I sold took to texting at 3 in the morning. When I switched on my phone the next morning I decided to politely, but firmly, respond and made it clear this was the one & only text I'd send him. How silly off me! My efforts were rewarded with 4 more texts of pure drivel, lies & threats. I'm not sure what the saddest part is; is it the substandard English, zero grammar & shortened text words to save a couple of key strokes they use OR the pure drivel they spout?

No chance whatsoever. The sort of man who can't afford to insure his car immediately isn't the sort of man I'd trust to take his details from. I can just imaging one of these punters pranging their car on the way home (or two months later saying you'd insured it for them), their details being incorrect, the insurer bouncing the claim & it ending up back in your lap. I know you can cover yourself legally with the paperwork but why bother? Tell them to arrange day insurance if they need it. I assure you that you have NOT lost a sale cos you don't do it, a serious customer will be happy to sort their own insurance.

Here's another example of what annoys me. This is a question regarding a 2006 Ford Focus 1.6 with FULL SERVICE HISTORY, was last serviced last week & has new discs & pads. All this is irrelevant really but the price isn't - it's a clean car & it's up for a paltry £999. What sort of man asks this on a £999 car??? They boil my piss.

A friend & fellow trader had exactly the same on Friday night with a family member. He left to think about it (that's a new one!!) & on Saturday won't answer his phone. As for MOT places I only use a couple & both of them know that I use my own mechanic so they ain't looking for work from me.

Here here! I'm unsure why a few unpleasant individuals feel they have the right to lie to me, insult my intelligence, misrepresent themselves by using English sounding names that I suspect aren't their names, sometimes attempt to disguise their accent (it soon slips upon hearing a few home truths), often claim to be private buyers but are in fact traders and generally behave in a manner that any decent human being would find reprehensible.