BHM

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Everything posted by BHM

  1. Or PAS problems. They were pisspoor years ago & the passing of time hasn't helped them.
  2. They'll be removable, it'll just be the seller's a lazy bastard. I thought my prep levels are shite but that's a disgrace - and he's not shy with his pricing either!
  3. LET ME ADD MY TWO PENNETH WORTH (IN CAPITALS IF YOU HADN'T ALREADY GUESSED). Suppose you specialised in diesels - recently you're screwed. + A FORECOURT FULL OF CARS WITH DPF/TURBO/INJECTOR PROBLEMS. URGHHH!!! Estates specialist - SUV's have killed that market for me. PARTIALLY AGREE, THERE AREN'T ENOUGH TIDY ESTATES AT SENSIBLE MONEY. Prestige - Takes a certain person....I can't handle the big ego but instant HP decline brigade. TO F***ING TRUE!! PENNILESS BIG-TALKING BASTARDS. BTW, THE VW CROWD CAN ALSO BE ADDED INTO THIS "CHAMPAGNE TASTE, LEMONADE MONEY" BRACKET. We thought about autos because there's a huge demand locally but try buying one without a knackered box in the block. NOT ENOUGH GOOD ONES . YOU CAN'T TRUST THESE SHITTY AUTOMATED CLUTCH JOBIES, CVTS ARE HORRID, DSGS SEEM TO BE A LOTTERY AND ANYTHING BIG & 'PRESTIGE' SEEMS TO NEED A NEW 'BOX EVERY 100K MILES. Bog standard risk spreading is best for me...at least that way I have one of every un-sellable motor rather than a forecourt full of the same unsellable ones. SNAP.
  4. Yep, gross. And when you buy a shitter, spend more money putting it right than it's worth, sell it at a loss & the VAT man still wants his pound of flesh.
  5. Unfortunately that's the car game & it's seen as perfectly acceptable to blatantly lie. Very sad but I trust no one nowadays. As for "customers" & "cheap stock", one man's cheap stock might be another man's top of the range so what price range are we taking when we refer to cheap cars/difficult customers?
  6. A valet is only as good as the man holding the cleaning machine doing it. If you're only getting a few cars rutted-out don't bother going down the black market employee route. Try the various local valeters until you stumble across the one good one & then stick with them. Personally I found the various Syrian & Eastern European services poor. They've seen the prices, got a hard-on, bought some chemicals & equipment and only want nice easy retail work and couldn't manage to PROPERLY clean out a right old stinking pig! After your valet you'll need to dehumidify and possible ozone the car because the best valet in the world will not permanently shift the smell of pure filth or cigarettes.
  7. Jimbo, think long and hard. Get a few quiet weeks of sales added to a few knackered cars and then find it's rent time again (I'm assuming most rent) & you'll feel the pinch. Also you won't run a pitch single handedly so you got wages to consider. It's a big jump going from a one man band to going into a unit & becoming an employer on top of what other contributors have said.
  8. Absolutely desperate here sweet f.a. sold for nearly a fortnight, my glory month was last month, it would seem. I've had plenty of interest of the dreaming/timewasting variety & a couple of traders I know have made a couple of discounted sales. Another few days of this & I'll shut the door for a week & naff off. I'm getting grown men phoning who are "Definately tomorrow" but tomorrow's phone call never comes, a credit card wielding immigrant (no good to me), the most optimistically priced p/xs I've heard in ages, dreamers phoning asking if the car's still available (cos if it is they'll be coming in 4 days to see it ), insulting "cash now mate" offers, ridiculous "cash, no come back, no hassle offers" that in reality are anything but hassle free and the usual men (ahem!) talking-the-talk then saying they have to consult their missus . I wouldn't embarrass myself in the manner many of these twats do.
  9. That's one of the best I've heard in ages! Christ, and I thought my punters were dozy.
  10. It's depressing that so many of the general public are that thick.
  11. They're mad. I've just had one of Peterborough's finest on the phone. From what I could understand they've got an 08 Astra hatch with the desirable 1.3 Fiat diesel, no history, wheeltrimmed up & 2 months MOT. Mine for £1450! No thanks.
  12. Yep, everyone I've spoken too are dead - I might as well be shut, in fact even half of the email idiots have disappeared. Any interest seems to be cos their car is knackered - either written off, the MOT tester has crucified it or it's simply ground to a halt. Also, unfortunately the average private man's valuation of his knackered p/x is somewhat optimistic
  13. mistermuttley, no chance at all cos punters nowadays do not give a toss about you, your business or your family finances. EVERYTHING is for sale until I have a deposit. I make appointments ON THE DAY "phone me when you're setting off" but even then I sometimes add "it's first come, first served". How many times has some pure time-wasting c*** promised you "I'm coming to buy" only to either let you down or come & f*** you about then say they've got 5 more to see. Sorry if this seems extreme but I'm trying to get my point across - it's a war out there & the spoils are hard to come by. Serious punters will get their arses into gear. F*** those who are left behind, most of them will usually get the silver medal anyway cos they piss about.
  14. I'd have a field full of £500 tat any day of the week (assuming it's ok, that is). The shite sells within days, I've got £2000 cars here that are welded to the floor.
  15. MattS, the only way of doing trade insurance on the cheap when you're a young man is not bothering with it! Obviously illegal but that's the truth of it. I'm afraid any business start-up takes 3 things; Time Money Effort If you're short of any one of those things then don't bother.
  16. Prime stock! I'd have a forecourt full of it any day of the week.
  17. Yep, too bloody true. Occasionally I get the odd visit on one of my bangers from someone who APPEARS reasonably solvent if judged by the newness of their motor. It soon transpires their car's being returned to the finance company & they haven't got a pot to piss in. He are a few examples; 9 mth old Corsa bought a £375 Mazda 3. His Mrs. turned up looking somewhat dismayed that it's a shed. My response "yes it is, that's why it's £375" 3mth(!!) Jag F-Pace viewing a £800 Laguna (man going bankrupt). Couldn't proceed cos he wanted to pay by credit card. 3year old Audi A6 viewing a £800 Fabia. Fussy as f***, talking the big man's talk, just wants the car "as a stop-gap for 2 months". When asked about the Audi he starts coughing & spluttering. Daddy pays for the car.
  18. That's bullshit - no one tells me how I spend my money. Man up!!
  19. If you don't want it tell 'em it's theirs & explain why. Simples.
  20. Hahaha, spot on! I can understand needing very approximate figures occasionally but if some of these supposed traders need an app to give a realistic valuation God help them! No app I know will give an assessment like "trade vet" just has.
  21. Here's the latest "issue" for one of my punters. It's some scratching to the internal driver's door handle. "What is this vehicle???" I hear you cry. Is it a £15000 S-class? Is it a 3 year old 7 series? Perhaps it's a 16-plate Range Rover? NO!!! ITS A BLOODY 13 YEAR OLD P/X BERLINGO THAT IS OTHERWISE IN SURPRISINGLY EXCELLENT CONDITION.