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Everything posted by BHM

  1. My worst customer (by worst I mean a chancer trying for a few quid back) is on the most expensive vehicle I’ve had in a while - a £12K commercial. They might seems cheap to you but depending upon what you stock you’ll soon learn £2-5K is a lot of money to plenty of people. Tbh the price bracket is irrelevant as arseholes, penny-pinchers & dreamers are attracted to all price ranges. However there are also plenty of nice, decent & pleasant people out there. The knack is sorting one from the other.
  2. Only 10 times easier? I think you’ve missed a zero off that figure. For Noel I immediately thought of cars like Focuses (good spec models only), a few Passat estates (don’t be tempted by Octavia dross - the punters are pitiful), 7 seaters or crusty old 4x4s - proper punters with the chance of reasonable profits turned over in decent time. A fresh ticket on this sort of stuff immediately raises your cars to the top 20% of the market.
  3. The LAST thing I’d suggest anyone tries starting off in is the cheap small car market. Cheap small cars = small profits due to the cheap greedy bastards who buy them - obsessed with CHEAP tax, CHEAP to run, CHEAP to insure, CHEAP FUCKING EVERYTHING!! There are plenty of cars you can make reasonable profits from with modest funds - swimming in the small car sea is definitely not the way to do it.
  4. The daughter can’t even get a test date at the moment & the painter’s son has just failed & I’m told his retest is next year. Also, tbh anyone who has the sense to check other cars for insurance quotes they soon realise they don’t have to be sat in a 1.0 peasant car.
  5. Tbh I don’t think I’ve ever had a sensible conversation with a Nissan punter - buyer or seller. Except for X-Trails I avoid all Nissans. Just magnets for greedy ‘Last price?’ immigrants, the penniless and the thick as pig shit (delete as appropriate).
  6. Some cars just won’t shift no matter what you do & sometimes you just have to sit it out. I’ve got one vehicle (small Shitron) and I’ve moved the price from between £2200 & £3999 and can I bollocks get any interest in it. Tbh I’m not interested in the fucking thing so why should I expect a member of the public to show interest in such a peasant conveyance? The only fuckers who’ve been interested couldn’t rustle up a ha’penny to scratch their arses. It’s just a reminder to me why I don’t ‘do’ small cars - give me an old 4x4 any day of the week with a proper profit that sells within a week or two.
  7. Are these the same cnuts who email gormless questions at 3am on Facebook?
  8. All aware they have a week or so “to try it out”. I’ll leave that sort of customer to the big boys (like I’ll be doing free delivery, free trials etc. on my older cars ).
  9. I can feel the pain in your writing. Just ignore the daft cnuts, in the unlikely event one of them is semi-serious they’ll phone when they don’t get an email.
  10. Go to a main dealer & I think most will stamp the book as long as it gets only oil & a filter. Also I’ve noticed with fleet/lease cars they only instruct to do the bare minimum. Cambelt due but only 3 months left of the lease? They’ll happily leave it (tbh I’d do the same).
  11. One that we are not allowed to know
  12. Upon reading the CDM article I gather he lashed out on social media then removed it - a poor show really, showing he’s not even prepared to stand by what he says. From the video it looks like he’s gone to square-up the kids thinking he’s the big gaffer, failing to realise he has no authority over them, or gain any respect from them. At the end of the day it’s a planning issue that has turned into poor PR for his business. However it’ll soon blow over.
  13. Scrap it? The OP claims the work will cost £400 (it must need an awful lot of welding for £400) but the car is also worth £1500. Although tbh it all sounds like bollocks to me. Anyhow I certainly wouldn’t be chucking £1100 onto the scrap pile!
  14. Thank fuck for a bit of common sense.
  15. That’s all it needs so I’m unsure why you’re unhappy. So what? Advisories are a pass. Sorry but I don’t understand what you & DCS01 think is so wrong. It’s a 17yr old car that’s only failed on 2 bits of welding almost 5 months, 700 miles & the season of WINTER. Tbh without knowing the type of car, reg etc. we’re all in the dark anyway. Do you really class a bit of welding & a splash of Underseal as too much of a spend?
  16. I differ totally to TRADE SURVIVOR. MOT complaints are heard for the first month, or 3 months for corrosion. Something like almost 5 months have now passed, don’t waste your phone call because they will not be interested. We all know there are MOTs & there are MOTs, sometimes looking at the mileage since MOT, tax end date can give you a clue there’s a tale, sometimes not. All it’s failed on are a couple of bits of welding. The rest are advisories so all you are really complaining about are the failures & I’m afraid holes in end-of-life cars can, and do, appear in the space of 4 to 5 months. Expecting a 16/17year old car to fly through an MOT suggests your a ‘glass half full’ type of person. I repeatedly hear the trade say ‘it passed its last MOT with flying colours so it should be ok this time’ . I deal in a bit of old shite & old cars do NOT fly through MOT after MOT without a bit of hand/wallet interaction.
  17. Old story I’m afraid. I’ve never had an XC90 leak but XC60s must use the same windscreen adhesive as Ford (being the Ford years it makes sense), stand beside the A-post & a gentle push in the top corner from below will show most screens move. The remedy is to either remove & reglue the screen (risking a broken screen) or simply slice out the top gasket & use windscreen glue along the top gap & down the sides up against the decorative trim. The big hassle is removing the interior - you need to remove all seats, the three carpet pieces, suck out the water but you’ll never dry out the foam so just rip it off the carpet back & replace with loads of house carpet underlay or old towels (the height of professionalism). Replace carpets after drying out on the Mrs’s radiator. FOR OBVIOUS REASONS THIS IS EXACTLY THE SAME PROCEDURE AS FOR FORD KUGAS, although they also piss in on the body seams under the roof rails & ESPECIALLY those body seams you can see when the boot is open. ALSO, for Ford Focuses see the italicised writing in the paragraph above. If I sound like an old hand at this it’s because I am - through bitter experience.
  18. A good engine. So good in fact, the second day I parked in Newcastle upon Tyne in my diesel Maestro, some light fingered Geordie relieved me of said Maestro. Happy memories
  19. A number of large employers are already working their staff harder than before - a visit to almost any supermarket will see staff working like dogs. I also suspect there’ll be a number of companies who realise that up to a third of their staff are deadwood & will act accordingly once the furlough cheques stop.
  20. Thank you very much, you’ve just made me very happy. I used them a couple of years ago & but had forgotten all about them. I’ve got a shite p/x that I was going to nail back together - I punched in the reg. & have been offered £505! I couldn’t fucking believe it! Guess where it’s going
  21. You should be grateful it wasn’t one of my customers on their way home. The number who leave here saying they’ll sort their insurance when they get home astounds me. It’s not restricted to banger buyers either.
  22. These are often the same punters who ask questions like “Is it safe?”, “Any advisories?” & “What are the tyres like?”, because they like to make out they’re fussy about roadworthiness.
  23. I’ve never understood the remapping ‘thing’ as putting additional stresses on old & worn components doesn’t make any sense to me. I’ve found it’s the punters who own a German ‘prestige’ cars that offer up this sort of dross. Too many owners, not enough history, knackered tyres & a smokey exhaust. When you get to the truth of the matter they’re usually chopping it in cos they’ve had a bellyful of issues. Just like old Range Rover or Sport owners - I get offered one a month from some punter who eventually admits its half-fucked.