BHM

Advanced Members
  • Content Count

    4754
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    140

Everything posted by BHM

  1. The idiots are out in force. I’ve had a barrage of idiotic phone calls, a pensioner expecting my £4000 car to be like their 2 week old Motability car that “we’ve just bought” (I’d call it rented with benefits money) but thankfully his leeks won’t fit in the back so I didn’t even get to refuse a test drive and walk-in from another pensioner, this time carrying a plastic bag on his way to the shops who’s just rejected an Internet-purchase car & now has money burning a hole in his pocket. For his money he wants something with plenty of spec, a nice shape (eh?), sensible miles, leather would be nice and AUTOMATIC!!!! His budget is £1500, possibly £2000. After starting to politely sack him off I changed tack & just let rip & told him a few truths. I suspect he won’t be returning. He honestly thinks £1500 buys the Earth! What fucking medication are these imbeciles on? I’m more or less with you on this. I prep hard, above MOT standards, & get next to no comebacks. I’ve only put my hand in my pocket (for comebacks) twice in the last two years - once for £50 & the other a tenner. Admittedly being a one man band & only selling a handful a month helps keep the screamers away. However I don’t deal with credit punters, I talk straight, don’t over promise & simply will not deal with those expecting the red carpet treatment or if I smell the scent of Eau de Fussy Bastard.
  2. You’re 100% correct but would the typical salesperson, or any MA employee, know a bad car from a good one? Personally I doubt it, the majority are simply ‘in sales’ and could as easily be selling phones, sofas or beds. It would be akin to me appraising the latest smart phone - it switches on so it must be alright . As for the workshop staff, I can’t ever see a MA paying for an hours wage & a couple of gallons of fuel to go & kick a cars arse for 50-60 miles, which in my experience is what’s needed to show an old banger’s true character.
  3. Answer: probably like most other internet businesses (in my experience of small items I’ve had problems with that means ignoring calls & emails, eventually blaming Covid & just generally being fucked about either by the supplier or by their courier who hasn’t made any attempt whatsoever to deliver).
  4. And if you’re anything like me it usually turns to shit.
  5. As always, customers call, messers mail. I’m not saying a customer may not of initially emailed but a SERIOUS buyer picks up the phone sharpish. Two cars nailed by yesterday lunchtime both to people able to use a telephone. The email buffoons, circling like vultures, are still umming & arrring, pondering their next move or making pitiful attempts of haggling by email. Some of these digital ditherers (a.k.a. fucking morons) even get shirty when they’re informed the car has sold - I had one the other week on a Smart telling me I shouldn’t be allowed to sell cars “because we’d agreed a deal” (Eh?), he’s already taken out insurance & he is reporting me to Trading Standards. Mental.
  6. I don’t either. Most of them are bullshitting cnuts. +1. On ‘run of the mill’ family hatchback-type stock I often think I’d be better off selling a fucking heap of shit with 4 months MOT, ropey tyres, worn brakes & overdue a service than prepping it & having a higher price. Add a few hundred quid to the price of a Focus & you can kill it stone dead. Funnily enough I’ve just sold a properly prepared DS4 today - the buyers were a really nice couple who appreciated the car. However the many punters who’ve contacted me over the last month have been horrible, bottom-dollar, last price, scum.
  7. The latest from the BBC; An additional file shows the claim, for "defamation" and "committed repeated defamation", was made by an Yvonne Hobbs against "The Rt Hon Boris Johnson". Allegedly she’s a COVID conspiracy theorist & has issued a few claims - it looks like one was overlooked
  8. A CCJ for the PM. I couldn’t believe it - supposedly some scoundrel has made a false claim & Boris is looking to get the debt struck out.
  9. I’ve been 4 times into 3 Vauxhall dealerships buying p/xs since Lockdown ended & even the usually bullshitting salesmen had to admit they’ve been quiet. It’s a bit worrying tbh. Mind you, I’m struggling to think of a reason why you’d visit a Vx dealership looking for a new car.
  10. I can believe it. When punters visit I can often tell if a tyrekicker has slipped through the net just from the 30mtr walk from the car park to my viewing area. BUYERS are itching to get to see the ‘new’ car, they leap out of their car full of vim & vigour, and they lead the charge to the viewing area. If I’ve greeted them at their car they continue walking towards the new car - their attention is fully focused on the prospective new car. If my phone screening has let me down and a tyrekicker arrives, they sit in their car for 30-60 seconds arranging their gamplan or fucking about on a mobile phone, eventually they get out, shuffle towards the new car then often circle it like a vulture over the carcass of a dead wildebeest. Often the actions & body language of a tyrekicker are very different to that of a buyer.
  11. It’s funny how some punters (especially Vaggots) think they can be fussy over a main dealer history yet you know for a fact the greedy fuckers won’t go anywhere near a franchise when it’s coming out of their wallet.
  12. Often these are the worst cars. I’ve got an Isuzu that I could of planted spuds in the pollen filter & an X3 that was serviced by BMW less than 2500 miles ago & the brakes are on the metal. However, who’s to say what the owners directed the dealerships to do, and what not to do?
  13. I’ve had this discussion twice this week & tbh a look at the service schedule on cars refers to “inspection of xxxx”, i.e. a look at xxxx. These cars being discussed here have also been MOTed which should more than account for the inspection of the safety items.....in theory! About 25 years ago I complained to both a VW & a Vx dealerships about their services on company cars not including stripping & cleaning brakes and on both occasions was referred to the service schedule & told if I wanted a brake service I needed to ask for one. I’m with you 100% on this but in answer to your original question I’d say Yes, usually it is. It certainly is with 90% of the public & it’s the reason so many cars miss the aux belt, timing belt, autobox oil change, plug changes etc. etc. - the additional service items.
  14. It seems that everyone fully services every single car sold. Absolutely staggering! I’m now looking out of my window for flying pigs.
  15. Very true. However, in reality what are the chances of a buyer of an 11yr old Ibiza taking it for a service? I’ve more chance of Lord Lucan riding up to my front door on Shergar! Knowing the typical horrid greedy buyer profile of that sort of car I’d seriously imagine it’s already had its last ever service. £30 quid’s worth of oil, filter & labour would be money well spent for the seller, although it won’t be appreciated.
  16. I hope it’s a faulty sensor but the fact the light goes out when the revs are lifted....
  17. Schoolboy error. ALWAYS check all of the keys & if you can’t get one working it’s better to throw it in the bin than hand over a non-functioning key. As for Mini keys I wouldn’t know for definite but it sounds about right. I believe in the case of expensive keys on older cars, my key man installs a separate remote lock system so the punter ends up with a separate fob & a plain key. Admittedly too late for that now.
  18. Won’t anyone be shedding any tears for AT?
  19. If the man at the DVLA said that then it’ll be right. However I’d take a V62 with you just in case the PO bod behind the counter say they want it.
  20. I’ve been following this for years in Private Eye. Even when this final caseload started last year, the Post Office were still dragging their heals, making ridiculous claims & trying to get it chucked out of court. That obnoxious Paula Vennells, who headed the PO & knowingly covered up the Horizon system faults, should do serious time. It’s destroyed family businesses, and in some cases lives, and is an absolute disgrace to this country.
  21. Correct. If it’s not in trade it cannot be taxed immediately.
  22. Phone the DVLA on Monday to check that it’s ‘in trade’ & confirm that it can be taxed with a V62 at a post office. You'll still have to stump up £25 but you can get it on sale immediately.