BHM

Tbh do views make a difference anyway? Advertise something perceived as sporty, aspirational or just downright cheap & I guarantee you’ll get bags of views. The majority of viewers are just that, viewers. Not buyers, not in any sense of the word. They’re either not in a financial position to buy, not mentally at the end of their purchase ‘journey’ & many are just viewers practicing their hobby of looking at cars. Those that get over-excited sometimes ask the “Last price?” question massaging their egos in the deluded belief they may make the purchase. They’re kidding themselves.

That must be the understatement of the year.

R-Soles surely?

For God’s sake please don’t expect to turn over 4 out of 7 every week, because you won’t. I can have 20 & can sell sweet f.a. in a week. Also out of about 20 I can have in 7 waiting (from the block, valeters, MOT, specialist, mechanic etc. etc.). My guess is you’ve yet to be caught by a couple of shitters & had a few four figure financial hits - when you do (and you will!) & still want to do this then you know you’re cut out for the job. You sound like you’ve put some thought into this and you’re starting from a similar point to me about 15 years ago. My advice to anyone thinking of packing up a job would be to get a couple of years really learning this job (auction trends & the general public are the main points) and make sure you can at least earn a wage. I was fortunate in that I’d accrued a pot of money & didn’t have much of a mortgage. I don’t know your personal circumstances (and they’re none of my business) but how much money you have in the bank, family commitments & how much, if any, debt you carry would influence my decision because I’d hate to see someone new to any business struggle & end up homeless. After saying all that I wouldn’t go back to being a PAYE man & there is money to be made if you’re prepared to work. One final thing, don’t believe all of the Billy Bullshitters you’re going to meet in this game. Good luck!

The early 2 litres has a reputation & although I’ve not had many I’ve never had a problem with them - my guess is any with chain / pump problems have all by now either been dealt with or been thrown in the bin. Is it me or am I wrong in seeing nothing wrong with moving on a p/x to a nice old guy at cost but making it absolutely clear what the score is? Personally I’d also rag it for an 80 mile round trip to the block to make sure but what on earth is all this talk of Yarises? What sort of wanked-out old Yaris are you going to buy for 14yr old A3 TRADE MONEY? Answer; An end-of-lifer with whining bearings & an underside looking like it was dragged up from a seabed - they’re rotboxes.

I enter all of my cars onto the MID. Tbh though it wouldn’t matter as road tax is the DVLA’s concern, not the Police’s and vice versa for insurance. Although I guess both the Police & DVLA could access the ANPR records for their own purposes?

About three weeks ago I received letter S46 from the DVLA regarding an untaxed car. I completed the rear of this, ‘Your Statement’, advising them of my trade plate no. & that the trade plates were in the window. I was ‘let off’ when I received what looks like a standard letter, 29TPNFA, saying they confirmed I was in possession of a valid trade licence but also advised me to familiarise myself ‘with the correct use of your trade licence’ etc. etc. It’ll be interesting to see whether or not trade plate holders/users are automatically let off as the same day I received the letter letting me off, I received another S46 for another car. The thing is, letter 29TPNFA refers me to www.gov.uk/trade-licence-plates & unless I’m mistaken, I cannot see any reference whatsoever to how trade plates should be used.

‘Champagne taste, lemonade money’ I suspect.

I wouldn’t know but to be fair to them they always have adverts on the telly with that woman’s husband who spits out his coffee after she mentions having triplets. Typical woman, traps the poor fella & expects a new car out of the job!

....or could simply be he’s made a mistake. Surely we’ve all had it at some point where we think we were outbid but weren’t and/or bid on the wrong car and/or won a car then found it was down to someone else. It happens.

I’ll have a C please Bob. Can I have a U? I think I’ll now try an N please Bob. I think I’ll have.........

The trouble with any T2T is as much to do with the Billy Bullshitter buyers as the Billy Bullshitter sellers. All of my time in this game sellers appraise whilst wearing rose tinted spectacles & seem oblivious to knackered clutches. Many trade buyers (on old shit) expect the earth, expect it to be retail ready & to come with two weeks full parts & labour warranty - tbh I’d rather deal with private punters than most of the trade at my level.

I’m surprised her age concerns you.

Isaac Hunt

FFS, I’d assumed as a trader that would of been your first port of call

At about 30 quid all-in it’s hardly going to blow the budget for Benji to find out. It sounds ridiculous but totally plausible, who here HASN’T ever been surprised by a diagnosis on a car?

You don’t need to make a big song & dance about it. It’ll be on your invoice, that’s all you need to do. When looking at tiles & grout on the shelves do B&Q employees prewarn customers that receipts include VAT? Tbh the few times I’ve had vans I’ve found them easier to write something along the lines of ’TOTAL price, no VAT to add’ because the sub £5K mark is generally full of private men & one man band companies who aren’t VAT registered so when looking at adverts if they see ‘plus VAT’ they think they’re being raped. Basically a ‘£3600’ van will be an easier sell than a ‘£3000 + VAT’ van. Total bollocks, I know, but that’s how people’s minds work.

Practical advice.

Greedy fucking bastards, usually. I regularly hear the line “I’ll drive it home and sort out the insurance & tax later”. Utter nonsense. Also the number who say “I’m insured for other people’s cars so I’m covered” (on THEIR car THEY have just bought ) is high.

What are these cunts on?

Just had a gold Astra & the V5 said ‘Gold’.

Slightly off topic but I get the occasional person asking if I’ll do them day insurance to get them home. As a one man band I have absolutely no intention whatsoever of getting involved in the legalities of strangers driving on the highway. Your insurance paperwork would have to be absolutely watertight because, my guess is, they’d come after the small car dealer not the big insurance company. I imagine any irregularity would be pushed my way - “No Your Honour, I told him I have 12 points on my provisional licence but he said I’d be ok for the next fortnight”, swiftly followed by their defence barrister “It is most unfortunate my client mowed down the bus queue of school kids but the financial burden of compensation for the grieving families surely lies with BHM who, my client attests, was responsible for completing the drive-away insurance”. If a customer is either too lazy or too skint to insure their new wheels I’m not interested in getting involved & exposing myself to risk.

You must be fucking mad. Let them order a taxi. I base this comment on one single ‘experience’. A friend ran a couple of courtesy cars for his various scumbag customers (car sales + a workshop) & then one day one was wrecked. A proper job, driver pissed-up, a number of parked cars smashed up, the courtesy car looked like it had been dropped out of an aeroplane. I don’t know how insurance companies work but as well as the NCB, the policy was loaded & his next year’s bill (which I saw) more than doubled to over £8K and that was after he’d pared back cover. Over the next few years it must of cost him a five figure sum, all for someone who walked away financially scott free.

TV (television, not Trade Vet), news media & about 125 years of listening to whinging “Champagne taste, lemonade money” friends & neighbours. Reading some of the emails from punters, I think some are permanently smoking the stuff.

Some of the shit I’ve sold over the years the punters would be grateful if the only problem the car had was a bit of grass growing out of the wing.