BHM

Hahaha Mark, some luck at least!

Physically, I’ve never had so much as a bean. I have however had a few phone calls thanking me for the car, generally from people 70yrs+, sometimes the same day when back home, some a week later & one 6 weeks later. I’d rather they didn’t bother - when their phone no. pops up on my phone I dread answering it!

Isn’t it a shame though that people have come to believe this is an acceptable way of conducting themselves? I’m glad I’m not on Facebook but from what I gather one syllable words strung together without grammar is the norm for a car enquiry. After a decade or so of arguing it out with emailers on ebay I now employ a simple policy depending upon category I judge them to be in; Moronic emails are ignored, the “£800 m8?” offers on £1800 cars. These punters NEVER follow up because after years of trying I finally learned these do not buy anyway no matter what you say. I honestly believe many of these are just passing their spare time on the internet. The “best offer/last price” -type emails get a standard cut n paste response telling them I price correctly and to phone to discuss etc. Someone wants £250 off, ok phone & tell me why - I think about a total of 2 or 3 in the 18 months have actually bothered to phone! Only 1 came & bought (a taxi driver for a Hyundai Sonata ). Emails with a glimmer of hope are responded to in a professional fashion. Probably about 10% of my cars sell to people who’s initial response was by email.

You are certainly NOT wrong. Errrr...because you’re the defendant. Don’t make the mistake that a few quid spent on professional services is a ‘get out of jail free’ card because it isn’t.

Tell him to f. off - it’s his problem & his responsibility. I wouldn’t waste more than 30 seconds of my life on this.

From your tale it sounds like the selling dealer was as much as a victim as you. Sort it, lick your wounds & move on. If you think you’re going to be financially compensated in business for every deal that goes bad you’re in for a nasty surprise.

Don’t bother. You’re giving false promises to customers & are asking for comebacks. As for “self funded warranties” etc. it’s dead easy as a one man band - if you feel the need to dip into your own pocket then do so. Quite why traders need to put it in separate a/c or get someone else to look after their money is beyond me. If you ask me your making things to complicated - you’re a doorstepper so K.I.S.S. & forget all the pitch talk. Your punters will be buying on price. Years ago it took me a year or so to work that out.

You also take a copy (either photocopy or a photo) of their proof of trading. That way Johnny can’t claim you’ve just entered any old details on the invoice.

Tbf the car isn’t really Facebook fodder - from what I hear FB is all about £3-500 shite so it’s no wonder he can’t raffle it. Speaking from experience squeeze green won’t help the situation either As for ownership, who knows who owns what? V5 aren’t proof of ownership, conduct your usual due diligence & you shouldn’t go wrong.....

I wouldn’t be chasing up that lead.

+1. I don’t ‘do’ finance but this year you can really tell people are struggling with their finances and punters turn up looking at cars unable to even leave a £200 deposit. Basically many haven’t got a pot to piss in & the number of people relying upon other family members to pay them on has definitely increased AND IT’S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE OVER THE NEXT FEW YEARS. As a generalisation, living costs have increased but wages haven’t and if anyone has changed jobs they invariably get paid less. Tbh it’s no wonder many people give self-employment a go. However let us remember people need to cut their cloth to suit. Also, if many had lived within their means in the past, rather than get loaded with credit everywhere, then they’d possible be in a better boat now.

F***ing MX5s. I’ve never had one but any punter arriving in an MX5 to see a car has been an absolute cock - I always assumed VW built them under licence.

Hi, what country are you in?

It’s quiet up north although unfortunately the cretins are still emailing. Apparently the end of the school holidays should of heralded a buying frenzy.................... Everyone I’ve spoken to is saying the same - VERY quiet. I’m ticking over at 2 or 3 per week which more than does me as a one man band. It would be nice to be able to buy stock at the right money but the auctions are full of crap the trade is fighting for & Dealer Auction is either through the roof or the vendors’ reserves are somewhat optimistic. At my end of the market I think there are a few who are going to find they own some overpriced stock.

I’m not an MOT tester but you have to have side indicators. On the E-classes 99% it’s the pisspoor wires & C-classes look a similar design (and probably manufacturer). You’ll get to them by forcing back the mirrors, adding wires, joining them up - a couple of hours fiddling about & swearing. Search the internet for a tutorial. You’ll see the wires in these ‘quality’ cars are barely 1mm and go brittle. They are the worst wiring I’ve ever seen in any car bar none. Pitiful pfennig pinching.

Surely Renault Manchester is your starting point?

I’d only work for a few weeks then sack it all off & retire.

Up to 30 if squeezed in, 20 comfortably with space to manoeuvre/drive through + space for 12 or so out the front but in reality that’s just used for our cars & visitors. Detached property set back on a main road. Tbh I only have about 20 lumps (of varying quality ) kicking about at any one time, it’s enough for a one man band & I can have them parked-up & accessible without moving cars about. I’m self contained which suits me. In the past I’ve tried this lark of running back & forth to a storage area & then waiting for punters etc. I know everything boils down to pounds, shillings & pence (that’s life!) but from my viewpoint I think you either need a pitch with staff (which doesn’t interest me in the slightest) if you’re aiming to do the numbers OR have a big set-up close to home - time is the biggest enemy of ALL of us, my cars are 10 seconds from my back door (which won’t suit everyone) but my ‘wasted’ time is negligible.

Nicely prepped for sale

That sounds like Eastern European, specifically Hungarian and Romanian, to me. Not auctions but I’ve sort of had similar a couple of times on cheap heaps of shit. There’s no chatting to The Boss-man on the end of the phone here! The offer of the phone getting passed to me was rejected & the ‘physical’ Johnny was told to handover his envelope or go. No more discussions, nothing. On both occasions the money was passed across. No point f***ing about with these Charlies, get into discussions with them & you get sucked in. As far as I’m concerned it’s my way or the highway & they’re the ones who’ve travelled a 500+ mile round trip.

+1. Ideal for a small turnover ‘specialist’ business. I gave up & bought a big house with land out back. Most small pitches/units (at the sort of money is car lads want to spend - i.e. f*** all) are on a dogshit scruffy little industrial estate that your customers need Sherpa Tenzing to locate you and the burglars have all night to rape your cars undisturbed.

Hahaha, I was holding back!

You’re asking the wrong man, I hate the small car market with its greedy clientele. I’ve never made anything like proper money on a small car, they always sit for months & then I end up selling for peanuts, sometimes barely wiping my nose. Tbh whenever I get one I’m always told by others in the trade “Ahhh, if only it had 20,000 less miles”. I’m the man who, about 5 years ago, had an automatic Clio with under 50K miles on it and it took me 6 months to sell. At the time it booked at £2Kish - if memory serves I got about £800 in the end. Good sellers everyone said! Yeah right!!! Apparently the colour was wrong for small cars!?!!! Dark blue!!!!! How the f*** can the colour be wrong on a 50K mile automatic small car????? The small car market is full of fussy, greedy penniless scum who want gold for the price of silver and then want comeback, their arses wiping, a tank of juice, bumper scuffs repairing, want it cheaper, want even less miles, want to communicate via 15 gormless emails etc. etc. etc. Basically the small car market does not compute with me at all. Give me a mangy old high mileage estate any day of the week.

The boxing ring might be a convenient way of dealing with any customer complaints.

Anyone remember his name????