Dave2302

Cheers, yes power to OBD Port. Don's emailed, it's on back burner for a day or so, then I'll go right over it There's a 2008 VW wank stain giving me the "oh FFS you absolute bastard of old shit" moment right now ............... Right Rear ABS signal implausible, I can tell you exactly what it isn't lol, having already changed Trigger and Sensor, going to run it out and get a data log after my late lunch !! Had an old 06 Iveco Daily Twin Wheel builders truck was also not playing nice this morning, seem to always get a few absolute bastards all in one go then everything all goes to plan for a while, then repeat C'est la vie ............. Onwards and upwards

I'd sooner catch the clap than buy that old ...............

Yeah, I'll try and get a better look tommoz, mate has told me he's in no hurry, so will get rid of some of the shitters first I'm thinking it must be fairly specific to the diag socket perhaps where it connects to CAN Busses, because everything else is working flawlessly !! Don't suppose anyone knows which module is used as the "router" on these ?? (for Example up to circa 2004 Merc used EIS as Router then after that they used a "CGW = Central Gateway Module). I really don't like BMW, try to avoid them if poss, so I'm not that familiar with their inner guts, especially the later F's etc

CF Bedfords, Victors, Firenzas etc can't remember it's designation, but I used to moan about changing the plugs on 'em back then !! Now, having done V12 Mercs etc, these days I'd love to do the Vauxhall ones on a daily basis Here ya go, "OHC Slant 4" seems to crop up a lot, no time to read the whole article tho, http://vauxpedianet.uk2sitebuilder.com/vauxhall---the-slant-4-engine

Ha Ha I've told 'em to bog off many times in the past I must admit since everything else went pooterised I haven't had any grief, just the bloody TP's that need to move into at least the 2000's lol

Oh boy, as if I didn't need any more hassle this week ............... I've had a ton of typical VAG ELV's in here with various arsey problems to sort out and having one or two sticking around, now, this morning a nice 1 owner 13 plate X5 has turned up, Air Suspension Low on the arse end, stealers told him it needs Compressor and a Relay, he says "I'll pay for diagnosis and take it to my mate for a second opinion as it's only done 40k miles !!" They then take ages to get the Car round to him, coming up with a ton of excuses blocked in in workshop, car park blocked, can't find key, etc etc................ Plugged it into Snap On, (which has just been updated fully), will not communicate with any module on the Car ................. OK, lets try Delphi in case Snap On fucked up, (although it's worked OK on other Cars this week) ......................... Same result with Delphi, but it does read Engine only in OBD mode, i.e. its communicating on K Line, which is no fuckin' use to me ....................... So, out with the big guns ........................ Put it on ISTA / INPA Dealer Level, same result, no communication with anything ................. It is obviously not a Diagnostic Machine Issue !! Now this Car drives perfectly, no fault lights, everything apart from Air Suspension working faultlessly !! So ................ Call me a distrusting cynic but I reckon BMW Stealers has pulled a plug or fuse somewhere so no one else can access it ????????????? Any of you guys with Workshops had this ????? Any ideas to save me some time as I'm getting all behind like a ducks arse here and have plenty other old crap to contend with Cheers Dave

Absolutely Agree, Low Mileage versus age is often worse than a well used Vehicle, not just belts either If you buy an old Classic barn find that hasn't been started in years, don't just put a Battery on it and try it, you will likely here starter whirr, then if it fires up shortly after there is often a big crunch !! Always turn 'em by hand first, then put a belt on before starting

Another absolute classic lololol

To get 'em initially, (assuming you already have 1 set), put in a new form ...................... If applying for 2 new sets at the same time, same form HTH,

I might well consider changing my Gearbox Specialist if I were you ......................... I've never heard such a load of cock twaddle bollox in a long while Fair enough if it's got 200k mls + it could be a rattly gear, or broken tooth, but surely you'd not be retailing a 200k + ELV ?? HTH

Hi Becca, Yes, most PAM Members found that the minute we were allowed access that's when they disappeared, also of note is some are using Windows, some use Android, some use IPhone, but all have them missing. p.s. Can we get a wider range of Emoji's pretty please ?? (Big kissie kissie emoji) Woooooooo Hoooooooo Edit now working along with Delete @Becca Chaplin .............. See fellas, it just needs a woman to sort things out, Cheers Becca !!

Yeah met, that was the big ish Importer in Northfleet, I used to do cog boxes for them, I bought a gorgeous GTO Twin Turbo, RHD Import off him, had all the bits on it, absolute animal of a Car, but very accomplished with it, sold it after a while before I killed myself in it / got locked up by the feds tradex, that's Paul Burnham, Burnham Auto's, good mate of mine, he's got his own freehold place in Higham, (back of Gravesend) now, used to do trannys for him too, went to a lot of shows with them with my Yank Muscle Cars etc

Your fuckin' joking aren't ya, lol if only you knew 45 ft X 15ft I remember building the bastard thing for the ungrateful old shmoof monger (un paid) !! It started off that it should have been a 12ft x 30 ft Kit, 4 months I had allocated for the build ....................... They kept changing what they wanted, 2 toilets, extra bedroom etc etc etc, then Mel got pissed off with her, and started nagging to get it finished and get 'em outta our place, so a lot of it was done while it was pissing down ................. In the end I spent 9 months doing it almost single handed, drainage, water electricity supply, concrete base, plumbing, wiring, heating etc Lesson, never do fuck all for Family, especially the "outlaws" !! The alternative was an almost monthly trip to Kent every time one of them got so much as a snivel we were on the bloody road again, that would have got even worse once the old fella got proper bad, that's why I agreed to it, and to moving 'em up here Un be-known to us, her Bro got Cancer not long after I'd finished the Cabin, so then I was fucking bus driver for 3 years taking them to and fro Kent, weekly towards the end, until the inevitable happened, followed 9 months later by the old fella !! 2011 to 2016 worst years of Mels and my life with precious little money earned, Mel wouldn't have kept going to and fro, her Bro was not the most popular person with her, heavy Drugs and all that jazz !!

Fulwich Road ?? Or did you mean that Importers who was in Regent Furniture's old place on Ind Est in Northfleet ??

I get that up here, my Morning Van normally arrives at 6 am, no problem we're all up and about at that time, they leave the parts outside the workshop in a waterproof big plywood "deliveries" box One new one decided to deliver at half past 4 the other morning, waking up Mel, who woke me, but worse, waking up her 86 year old mother who has dementia and lives in a Log Cabin next to our house, so she promptly phoned up scared shitless, thinking the Germans were invading down the driveway in tanks !!

Ahhh, OK, just keep the fucker above half a tank then

13 years on now from selling up at my Gearbox Firm in SE, because I was becoming an angry and pessimistic person, putting up with wankers like "since you did my gearbox the back tyre has gone flat", "since you did my Gearbox you've broken the light inside the shifter", (we never took shifters apart, disconnected the Cable at trans end, and on checking there was actually no bulb in this one, so it obviously wan't working for years) and the list goes on and on !! I honestly do believe you guys deserve a medal, especially nowadays as it will only have gotten worse down there :( I would have seriously hurt some twunt by now and be locked up, or just had a massive heart attack one day !!

LOL

LOL, it just had to be you

How about Inverness ??

where men are men and sheep are nervous ???

We've all done it lol, (well actually I've not done that particular fauxck pas, but ya get the drift .......................... Now, who was it took the piss when I said I'd have a go at diagnosing TG's Jeep over t'internet on the other thread about what's the longest you've had a Car sticking around ???????? Ahhhh @tradex Ner ner ner ner ner It's on form today

No proberlermo Was that the trouble ??

Aha, fair do's you've took a look Fuck it off outta it then D'ya know what, I just cant get motivated today, a reasonable and fairly late X5 on the lift for all round Brakes ............. Discs Pads and 1 front / 1 rear Caliper plus an intermittent Air Suspender Fault, Wheels are off and Right Front done, bah .............. \/ \/ \/ I thought this earlier Someone should make this thread a sticky for Workshop craic

LOL, there's a good customer of mine, a nice young fella, with a 2011 high top Sprinter 4X4, log burner in it, double bed, toilet, cooker etc etc, he often uses it to stay working in the woods, works there with another guy who stays with him ............. I often hum that song and wonder, but in his defence he does have a real fit young "pussay" at home Didn't leave or yank the thick red off the starter did you's Experience has always taught me before "never saying never" to have a butchers