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Everything posted by BHM

  1. Too right if he’s dealing at the cheaper end. That is unless he likes dealing with the fussy as f***, big-talking, Champagne taste, lemonade money brigade.
  2. They used to mint them up to sell them........ then rather than minting them up they started declaring all faults at the block........ then 6 or 7 years ago they started auctioning them like everyone else by declaring sweet f.a.! I had some good do’s years ago out of ex-service cars, they were cheap & the public loved them - especially fluorescent yellow ex-NHS Focuses! Now it’s a lottery buying them, they ain’t cheap & the Average Joe doesn’t want them.
  3. Hahaha, I remember when this wheeze came in & being offered it, “Ideal for performance cars” was the guff, something to do with less expansion due to heat if I remember correctly. What a load of fucking bollocks. Rather like Manheim’s Checkpoint fee.
  4. I’ve often said the ones we buy on eBay are probably the exact same ones stolen from the cars
  5. The days of main dealer stock being prepped to the hilt are long gone & they aren’t afraid to sell cars with Stevie Wonder paintwork repairs. Tbh many of them can’t even be arsed to wash off a car for punters with an appointment. I was at a Renault dealer the other week & they were showing punters a car jammed in round the back in the compound - I overheard the Mrs say she couldn’t really see the car properly .
  6. My in-laws are dead so I don’t have that problem.
  7. What puzzles me is why people think that some fella with an obd & a laptop is far better at programming the ECU than the manufacturers who invest tens & hundreds of millions in R&D. Some of these characters then deciding to promote themselves to pro-status & adjusting the fuel-air ratios must be responsible for fucking a few engines.
  8. With cheapie punters from my experience there are generally three things that sour punters when looking at a car (although old 4x4 buyers are more realistic). 1) A reference to corrosion on the MOT. 2) A reference to an oil leak on the MOT. 3) The fuel light on at the start of the test drive. It’s ok if it illuminates on the test drive but if it’s on when they first sit in it they start whining like the rear diff on an old Vauxhall Carlton. (If selling a small car with 1, 2 & 3 you’ll have it ‘til the day you die ).
  9. Mike Brewer feel free to comment here It’s because Place In The Sun & all other house buying TV programmes refer to their offers as ‘cash offers’. In the good old days a cash deal meant pound notes, no receipt, f*** off & don’t come back. Alas, in the space of a few years “cash deal” is spouted by every Parker’s Guide expert meaning “I want some money off, here’s my card & I’ll squeal like a rutting pig if an issue arises”.
  10. The average PAYE man, irrespective of intelligence and/or professional qualifications does not understand. If the average Joe Public understood this there’d be no little for the dole.
  11. Absolutely. Dad says all car dealers discount by at least £xxx. ....I can get one for £500 less in (insert name of city 100 miles away here). friend says yours is only worth £xxxx. ....Parker’s say your car is only worth £xxxx Answer: NO PROBLEM. JUST GO & BUY ONE FROM PARKER’S - LET ME KNOW HOW YOU GET ON. Last weekend (weekend trade ), punter arrives in a 2017 Touareg, torch in hand, to look at a 16yr old p/x X-Trail, FRESHLY & PROPERLY MOT’d and priced at the princely sum on £1300. ....Why does the MOT say surface corrosion? Answer: BECAUSE I DON’T GET MICKEY MOUSE MOTS & IT’S A 16 YR OLD 4x4 AT PUSHBIKE MONEY.
  12. Tbh I wouldn’t want to rely on them to transport my rubbish bin to the roadside once a fortnight.
  13. Full steam ahead is my guess although the week up Christmas Day is usually quiet unless you’ve something that looks cheap.
  14. Dear me! A couple of unkind words & now you’re making out there’s going to be a big court case.
  15. What knowledge do you have that has empowered you?
  16. ....or sending a bottle of gin of YOUR choice & a few tonics to punters & charging twice the going rate. Who on earth would believe in such a scheme.
  17. I took in a ‘delightful’ Category S trade in the other day. A quick sweep out of the filthy interior, threw a bucket of dirty water over its battered exterior, pointed the camera at it & wrote an advert starting “IDIOTS TAKE NOTE!! NO EMAILS!! PHONE ONLY!!” Only 2 people managed to phone but the number of emails beggared belief & the pitifully low quality of questions even more so.
  18. The car’s not the problem, it’s; VAG man!
  19. You never will!! Has anyone ever sold a car to a punter who’s first question was the C word?
  20. Selling older cars Daz should assume everyone is a pillock, messer or has unrealistic expectations until they prove otherwise and until they prove otherwise don’t sell them anything.
  21. If you felt there was no fault this was the time to terminate the deal.
  22. My understanding from a diesel specialist’s comments is that most injectors past about 80K miles will be outside manufacturers tolerances anyway so would be classed as needing replacement.
  23. Logbooks currently aren’t needed for taxing because over the phone the DVLA will tax ANY car for 6 months FOR ANYONE. I’ve done it 3 times recently for sold cars with log books held up due to plate transfers at main dealers. The only stipulation is the car must have a current MOT.
  24. Diesels are bad enough but being low mileage & 11yrs old it could be any number of things gummed up. My first port of call would be a couple of bottles of Miller’s or Wynn’s & absolutely kick its c**t in for 20 miles - show it no mercy.