BHM

You f*** ing what? Really? Perhaps in the new or nearly new market but I certainly won’t be doing any distance selling of 8yr old, 100,000 mile cars. Tbh that one single comment shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the secondhand car market and, perhaps more importantly, of punters expectations!

Red rag & bull springs to mind.

Yep, a clean, tidy car with FSH that drives right. These peasant-type cars aren’t worth a toss. A month ago I finally sold mine (2009 5 doors, FSH, new tyres, new brakes, drove like brand new, 98K miles, A/C but wheeltrim specification) after 5mths & 3wks. I just kept slicing the price until I could get a horrible Corsa buyer around. These small car punters are absolute arseholes, either kids or single-mothers who need to speak to Dad OR Dads who need to speak to their kids/single-mother-daughter. Funnily enough, a nice older man bought it, no messing about & realise it was cheap cos as HE said to me “There’s no money in these small cars”!!! I honestly think he was the only ‘normal’ person who contacted me in 5mth 3wks. I’ll not mention the 6mth Laguna going today. Making about £100 on it but glad to see the back of it. Note to self: On run of the mill mid range cars stick to estates otherwise all you’ll get is bottom feeding vultures with no manners & even less money.

Them bloated old 90’s Supras, a sort of rice burning Trans-Am, seem to of gone the same way. A friend has or had one advertised, apparently they’re as fast as f*** but what about the embarrassment if someone you know sees you in one? Years ago, 7 or 8 at a guess, I bought a Honda S2000, yellow, a few miles but at the time they were barely worth a toss - they can’t of been otherwise it wouldn’t of came home with me. Horrible car, had to cane it to 6000rpm before anything happened. Anyway I had it absolutely months & couldn’t get a proper sniff on it. Plenty of email dickheads enquiring about tread depths, midnight email traders talking the talk & owners forum wankers making a nuisance of themselves. Eventually I sold it to a local bus driver I knew, for a hard bid “cash, no comebacks”. I now look at the price of them, even interstellar mileage ones make a few quid. Tbh I recently saw an old shitter on DA making more now than I sold it for almost a decade ago. P/Xs? The days of a decent p/x seem to be few & far between nowadays. They all seem to be f***ed, want the earth for them or even if we’re only a couple of hundred quid adrift they’re prepared to keep them & “Have a go on Gumtree” themselves - good luck Sir!

I think this topic, along with others, is a good example of why you shouldn’t believe everything you read on the internet. I’m sure this guy is just an internet version of the big money bullshitters turning over 30 per week & making £3K per unit that you hear in every auction hall talking the talk. P.S. often driving a private-plated end of life X5 or RR Sport with bald Sunny tyres on, plenty of gold chains & sovereign rings. P.P.S. or just a dreamer sat on his sofa thinking big thoughts about websites, facebook along with any other get rich quick medium. As Bannatyne says, I’M OUT!

CRIKES! TV, I think we’re on a different planet up here with our punters. Just imagine trying to sell one of these up north? I’d be smoking it for years. .......and imagine telling a punter “Oh yes Sir, the car is £xxxx BUT you also need to pay monthly for the batteries”. I’d expect to be told/asked “Fuck off, you’re joking?” by a typical older-car buyer. .......or imagine the calls from London & the suburbs all wanting it delivered f.o.c. (Cos the friggin things would take 4 days to get there with their pisspoor range & the time needed to “refill the tank”). .......or on an ‘owner battery’ car the £3000 batteries go ‘tits up’ on a customer and you try one of Arfurs/Lawgistics letters advising the customer that “wear n tear ain’t included in the CRA”. That case wouldn’t go away quickly around these parts! I think I’ll stick with piston engines for another few years.

Spares or Repair up here wil those miles on a 180,000 mile old scrap TDCi Mondog. Nobody would want it. Give it a rev to the redline & see if she cuts out. Either way it’s on borrowed time.

Sorry but that’s nonsense. Many do but & leave meant leave to me. 100% leave. No half measures, out 100% & sort out whatever alleged mess afterwards. I agree Theresa’s made a right f*** up of the job. Those that feel this country isn’t fit to govern itself & will struggle to trade, even though we’re a country of conspicuous consumption, should perhaps think of relocating abroad. Why on earth the country is contemplating continuing to tip millions per week into the EU is beyond me, that was my main gripe. The EU is a sausage machine turning over our, and a few other net contributors, money into bolstering up the abysmal economies of the PIGS & various Eastern European countries. Good luck to all nationalities but I personally have no interest in assisting the struggling economies of other countries.

+1

....and I’m just reaching for the razor blades. You surprise me, most of these characters are genuine men. I’m sure they’ve just mislaid their phones Honestly, just Spares/Repair+Trailered Away them.

Had a Sharan, valeted to death, replaced the chewed back seats. It’s next owner turned up in a ‘farmed’ Ford Ranger, asked me to remove the 5 rearmost seats “cos me and the wife won’t need them, I’ll chuck them in the barn”!!!, threw in all of his filthy gear out of the back of the Ranger into the boot area saying “this is the last time this car is clean”.

+1 regarding the location. Assuming it’s got all of its wheelarches & door bottoms, in the north I see it absolutely flat out at £999 and probably £795. Here it’d just be seen as a crappy old knacker for the hard-up pensioner market. If it’s auto that’s in its favour.

It’s a sign of the times - I think tyrekicking is the new national pastime for middle aged men. Hmmmm, you may have a point nowadays.

Sub £1K market the hardest? It’s every f***ing market under my £4500 at the moment. I’ve got a Volvo estate for £3.5k & punters are phoning wanting lumps knocking off the price “cos it might need a clutch”. Needs a f***ing clutch!?!!! There’s f.a. wrong with the clutch. Punters aren’t even see cars & they're already shitting themselves over potential bills because they’ve read on a forum telling them to make sure every secondhand car has FSH, new tyres, new timing belt & new clutch. From my perspective EVERY punter at the moment hasn’t got any money for maintenance. Tbh many haven’t got the money for the car they’re calling about.

I certainly don’t see prices dropping. In the £800-4000 market punters seem only be changing when they have to (car knackered, written-off etc.), trade prices are high and will continue to rise because, as we all know, in this game a lack of sales = lack of secondhand stock = inflated prices. Unfortunately the punters at my end of the market don’t understand why they now can’t afford a car they want & they also haven’t got penny to maintain what they buy. Surely something’s got to give? From what I hear punters who haven’t got a pot to piss in are still getting PCP etc. deals, the new retail market is saturated with a fair percentage of people living on a financial knife edge - I guess the criteria will tighten if/when these punters start bouncing these companies.

What a f***ing arsehole.

At our end of the trade (I.e. trade NOT retail) just about every fucker is unreliable.

Hahaha, I wondered when the spam was coming.

I know, what an arsehole. Is that code for F. O.?

Jail time & you end up being Mr. Big’s bitch

For a 16 year old Rover 75? I’ll be interested to know what it raises cos it looks like a few hundred quids worth to my eyes.

My guess is normal stock if he’s sold 4 scrappers within hours. I say that cos if you properly advertise them as Spares/Repair Trailered Away it always takes a few days (in my experience) until the right man phones cos the other horrible greedy thick c***s won’t phone when it’s spelled out to them. The horrible thick scum only rush out if they think they’re getting a retail deal.

The few times I’ve advertised CARS on there I’ve not had a single call. Even cheapies are no good because if you’ve got a 2008 XYZ at £1000 then there’ll be loads of other 2008 XYZs at £500. Most of them all knackered, abused, 8 owners & f*** all history but they’ll be cheaper - In my experience Gumtree really is the equivalent of a slum car boot sale. What it is good for is old household crap. I moved house I had an old cooker, some shit furniture, a scruffy old freezer etc. I priced everything at £20-50, savage advert, just to save a trip to the local tip. The phone nearly melted, although even on this type of item I had people who were ‘furniture tyrekickers’ (whatever you’d call them) & nutters wanting me to do all the work & take them to their house, cash on collection.

Yes, if you had the old contract so are eligible to continue without Gumtree, then the fee has recently increased to £186.15 + VAT but they increased to 25 cars.

I think you’ll find this has just increased.