BHM

I once lifted up the back seat on a ‘minter’ at the block, I could of changed the propshaft u.j. through the hole in the floor. The hole was almost the size of the rear seat base

He must be dog-shit cheap. I think I’m cheap and advertised two, I left them months & all I got was one email wanting to slice £800 off a £1999 car.

I assume it’s all getting difficult because they don’t want people constantly pestering them for service records.

Over fifties? Sorry TV but you’re 25 years out of date. I’ve sold two cars this week to Septuagenarians (older than you ) & my only advertising is eBay. I stopped advertising over a decade ago in the local rags when I realised I hadn’t sold a single car via them in 6 months. Thanks for the bad news . I’ve reluctantly come to this conclusion because I’ve survived for decades on minimal advertising fees so am averse to shelling out.

1 man band - I’ve solely existed on a bit of local trade, the occasional repeat customer but my only online presence has been eBaymotorspro for God knows how many years. eBay has served me very well but it’s recently gone off the boil to the point where I’m thinking of giving AT a whirl. I hate lashing out on advertising but if the results bear fruit............ As for sites such as Shpock, Gumtree etc. I’ve occasionally tried them in the past & honestly, as Grant says, they were an absolute total & utter waste of time for me.

Why are people wary of solicitors? They work to exactly the same laws as us and there are as many slackers in that profession as in many others. You certainly don’t need to employ the services of another solicitor to sack him off.

Answer to the original question; The minimum you can get away with! It would be nice to have a crystal ball & know what sort of punter’s coming for a look. You can get punters expecting a £500 p/x shitter to be mint &, if it’s priced keenly, you can get punters on a £4000 car who state “this is cheap, I couldn’t give a toss about a few scuffs & scabby wheels”. Horses for courses.

11 year old X-Type? Your £98 will probably be better spent on welding rotten sills.

+1. I only watched the A3 video & my comments are forget the Audi-style advertising flannel and actually tell punters something about that specific car. You should be pointing out good & bad points - yours sounded like a manufacturers advert for a new car when in truth it’s an end of life product. You shoot an excellent video though, however it’s style over substance here I feel (although many will disagree with me & it’s not a market I sell to).

S0LD (The second letter is actually a number).

Abso-bloody-lutely! Bronze & silver certainly aren’t worth a toss. Read what they ACTUALLY cover & it’s a dismally short & pathetic list and these crooks will simply hide behind ‘the static test’ statement. The parasites will take another £25 for this privilege. He’s better off putting it towards his repair bill!

Great post! What’s the point in posting something if you’ve not got the balls to stand by it?

I have a ‘No diesel’ policy when it comes to Vauxhalls.

A fault being declared!

Repeatedly

Yes but from my experience those followers can’t afford the petrol, insurance or road tax - typical cheap performance car punters. I hope it was a f***ing cheap p/x.

58-plate? It’ll probably be on its last legs by now.

Don’t be afraid to either sack off a punter with their faulty p/xs or apologise, explain why, and then slip them a crippler of a valuation. Assuming they have the money to spend, usually this type of punter with this sort of sickly car just ‘wants out’ and will take any bid over scrap money. THIS USUALLY ONLY WORKS FACE TO FACE, don’t hold out hope on emailers on a fishing expedition. Yesterday I bid £300 on a low mileage 07 diesel Grand Picasso with a few lights on the dash & asked the customer if they’d prefer to sell it themselves. They screamed in unison “No!” & snatched my hand to shake it - they’d had enough of this gem & only last week they’d spent over £200 on a set of tyres. Now I’m not going to get involved with repairing the heap of shit but surely I’ll draw a few hundred profit from some budding internet scouring entrepreneur. PS mind you, who wants Insignias anyway? Urghhhh!!

I think much of it is how you deal with customers. I rarely get any comebacks but punters on a viewing are told the facts of life straight to their face. Basically if you’re a Billy Bullshitter promising the earth to get a sale then you’re asking for comebacks. Possibly the types of car have a bearing on this subject. Yes, some nutter trading in a 51 plate Punto will possibly expect an 11 plate Focus to be “like new” but, all things being equal, I’d expect a £3000 Focus buyer to be a damn sight more realistic than some payday loan cretin who’s bought a wanked-out 190,000 mile A4 estate cos it’s got an S-line badge on it & it’ll impress his gormless peer group.

That’s because are you offering warranties on £1000 end-of-life cars.

Is it a fire sale forced by her IVA? How stupid do you have to be to blow tens of millions?

Dreadful engines, not for me at the lower end of the market cos they’re usually on their last legs when I’m looking at them. Even if they aren’t burning oil for fun then I’ve seen turbos failing due to oil pumps ‘on half power’, turbos getting changed & failing soon again. Tbh it’s better if the oil pump totally knackers then at least you know what you’re dealing with.

I suspect unfortunately this chap is already signed off due to his issues.

9 months ago the alleged repair works have been executed & now he comes to you shaking his collection tin. He’d be given VERY short shrift here. Basically “f.o. & do your best”.

WTF???? It’s good to see the weekend nutters are moving away from sending me emails via eBay.