trade vet

We aren’t buying enough Noacross.We are not fully optimised,Click Dealer have tried,but despite being good at everything else they do,their SEO stuff for buying appears not to be their speciality.We have had various quotes from specialist SEO companies starting at £500 per month upto several grand and they do not guarantee success.! So most of the stuff we buy at the door is from passing trade,we are on a very visible site.

Our small pitch did OK,we have 17 to 20 and we retailed 16.Sounds good,but we chopped one or two to money back,we had some good margins on a few but then we also had a few ‘self destruct’ as usual ,clutches,turbos and stuff.It is a cheap pitch with only one wage bill but it still adds up to £1200 per week with everything accounted for and standing still.Whatever you think you have netted in a month,I always half it because the profit just evaporates in this job.

The Nissan Makem factory is the most efficient in Europe.They have already been told that whatever happens with Brexit they will be looked after.This is more about Nissan angling for some sort of disguised government subsidy.Jaguar are doing the same.I think sales are down until the new emission rules are established,they are also down on the £30k Leaf.In the old days at Dagenham ,the way they did it when sales were down and stock was piled up,Ford just upset the unions and they called a strike.A couple of weeks of not paying wages saved them a fortune.

Cannot think of anyone who has made the grade using no. plate stickers

Yes Lane 7 previously ATS ,downtown Blenheim St which was rough and full of car pitches.My first pitch was 100 yds away.Now renamed St James Blvd with no pitches,just pubs,restaurants,clubs,hotels and a casino.Tourists flock into Newcastle at weekends,I have no idea why. I know Brightwells,but in those days I was buying ex Mercia police vehicles from Leominster Car Auctions.

Yes up the hill to Beamish,it’s cold up there,great punters though and many are voluntary workers at the famous Beamish Open Air Museum .I used to go up the hill to Leominster ( is that near you) in the winter buying stock.Is that where the SAS are based.As I remember,bit chilly is an understatement. It must have been a culture shock coming up here.

Nice one Mark.You also appear to be fluent in ‘Top Gear’ language.’ Up here in the Northern Powerhouse ? ( Poorhouse ) with our target market for that, we might be using a description like ,plenty of space for a pigeon basket or a whippet cage.’ Super range topper ‘ and ‘ super sporty facade ‘ might not go down too well.

Another Michael Caine quote which I think could be attributable to a lot of car dealers....Be like a duck,calm on the surface but paddling like the dickens underneath.

Boring Dave is a considerate guy.I had been getting flak about something and he sent me a nice message.I had to tell him that I was not effected by adverse comments/flak and was surprised that I didn’t get more.

In the days of Payment Protection,our finance company ( the biggest ) insisted on us sending our best guy on a day seminar somewhere, where a hired probably at great expense bullshit Finance Guru/consultant who would teach dealers how to sell payment protection/or basically lie to punters.We later heard that the Guru had apparently explained to all these sales guys that in the event of a punter being indifferent to the payments that you quote,you just revert to the MTFU method.This was apparently met with lots of nodding from all these tame sales guys.However there was one guy there who could not take all the crap.....as it could have been Stalker,maybe he might explain.

We used to speed the process up.G3 on a mop and then jetwash,followed by G10 mixed with Autoglym then jetwash again.Then hand polish.I am unsure whether that would work with today’s paint and lacquer.Worth trying on a cheapie but not with Autoglym,too expensive these days.

I would ignore that advice.I think you may have to MTFU.Next time,get ID and record the sale properly,it just takes one.If you are not LTD,seriously think about it.

Excellent advice Justin.Lifestyle,I know a trader who is the tightest guy I have ever met.Nice house but low personal drawings from his business.His books are spot on but they were suspicious.They actually went to his home and went through his wife’s wardrobe.This was a long time ago...Sounds like your friend is in deep shit.

You are wrong guys,VAT inspectors are OK in my experience.They take notes and ask a few questions about your business but if you are unsure of the answer just say ‘I will have to get back to you on that one’.They may have some flavour of the month to charge you extra tax but you don’t find that out until a few weeks later.Someone told me it is presently ‘de minimis rules ‘ which I fail to understand.If you declare everything,you have nothing to worry about.I would suggest that you should get the inspectors direct contact details on commencement of the inspection for record keeping purposes ( However it is if you need to query any additional assessment you may be unhappy with ).They sometimes try it on.I recall being assessed on negative equity finance deal balances and the inspector tried to avoid me when I contacted his office. ( which is within the 2nd biggest office block in the world,DSS Longbenton and less than a mile from our house).I was told it was not open to the public.I subsequently followed procedure and complained to Southampton or somewhere and met him later.The assessments were dropped.

No Rory,definateley not.Infact he could probably buy you at one end of the street and sell you at the other.Forget it.

If any of you guys are interested I could introduce you to a highly respected independent buyer ( ex BCA management) who acts for BCA account holders.He does Ingleston and several other Scottish auctions and organises delivery and stuff at reasonable prices.

Shotts,what a place.Have not been for years,Big Ian and Anne lovely people,no bullshit with them.( story coming up )In fact the last time I was there this well dressed big black guy ( in Shotts ?) politely asked if I could give him advice about some car.I did,but then I said excuse me but do I know you.He said possibly and I went away.I then remembered went over and said Norwich,goal of the season way back when.He said yes,times have changed I am now part time for Falkirk or somewhere.It was the late Justin Fashanu,very sad. I agree about Kinross aswell,there was a lady who I would leave bids with and when you rang the next morning not only would you have bought one or two it was often for less money and best of all she would say ‘they are on their way’.

Amazing.It should be compulsory viewing for school teachers,college lecturers and those civil servants who claim to be over worked and stressed out and need more holidays etc.Mind you I think I would prefer to do that than have a 400 grand stocking loan which appears to be norm these days.( cannot do a smiley)

I think I do enjoy the view Noacross,I am part time,very part time.After 50 years I now enjoy the chat more than the actual trade.As for our local Trading Standards,I am probably still on their watch list.To give you an idea I recall at noon one Christmas Eve and the TS guy comes in looking for me to tell me that the size of the APR was not consistent with the size of our advert.It was one centimetre too small I kid you not.I think I will try again to see what happens but firstly I will take your tip and do a quarter page car buying ad at £50.It can run for 6 weeks for the cost of one BCA buyers fee.

Going back a good few years,I have ‘previous’ with Trading Standards with this sort of thing in AT mag days.We used to list stock like this. cost new.....cash price....no deposit......£25p/w.....48 mths etc. It worked very well and I used to argue with the Trading Standards guy that it was diffinitive advertising for those consumers not capable of calculating their commitments.I think we eventually got some final warning and had to change.The thing is the likes of Evans Halshaw and Trade Centre Wales still appear to get away with it advertising on line but they are not trading in our area.

Thank you Rory,I think you are right and will give it a go.The only thing is there can be FCA restrictions using words like weekly payments,no deposit,real APR rate and its correct size and placement.I have been there before with our local jobsworth Trading Standards guy, Thank you again,what a good idea.

Hi Noacross Excellent post.We are also with Click Dealer but we found that their SEO for our online car buying site has been below expectations.However on the retail side and everything else,they are good and I would recommend them.I now know from a another local car buying site who do well,that they spend £3000 per month on SEO stuff to get noticed. Interesting you are still doing a bit with newspapers,they are so cheap,there a couple of pitches up here who never miss a week in the local rag.Maybe,I should give it another try,it’s £50 for a quarter page and 16000 paid for circulation. Last week we were buying one in at the door as they were getting a Motability car.She then says I can now buy that Micra CC for my mother.She did,it was £2000 and in Southampton about 350 miles away and she was going to drive it back.I tried to explain it was not a good idea.

Hi Del Boy Are you new to the job,if not and you are worried about a CRV,some people might enquire if you are of a nervous disposition.Others might say,is this the right job for you.....ONLY JOKING !.......With swappers,I always say it is about protecting the down side.In this case,the worst way round is that you will always get £2950 for it,so there is no need to worry...Good Luck.

Thanks AD,you are right,but I have been into this search engine optimisation stuff and these guys are wanting big money for no guaranteed results which these geeks say is the industry norm.I don’t buy that.So we are buying one or two every week at the door from passing trade and that’s OK.I would have done all the stuff years ago but not any more.

I am out of date alright.I was watching the pitch the other day and the easiest punter comes in and walks round a Quashqui and says ‘ I will have it’and ‘I will just pay you now and collect it tomorrow.So he gives me his debit card and I couldn’t work the machine.