Leaderboard

Thanks for the advice Dave.... Since my new payment process I've not had a no show / non payer in over 2 years, if it falls through, I'll eat my Halfords socket set on video for you

Oh and I had a very similar lunatic ringing me on a £10,250 C250 estate last week. He had a BMW X5 in chop, sounded nice, pan roof and 20" wheels, M Sport, over 100k on it but still, not the worst swapper I'd ever see I expect. Without valuing it, I asked what he was looking for out of it and he said "well, I've seen them going for £10,500-11,000 on Autotrader...." so I said well, expect to see around £2000-£2500 less than that as a trade in but please, let me have the reg and I'll do some research and come back to you with the best price I can. 5 mins research, an HPI check and I'm at £9k, so my off-the-cuff assessment to him was right. I call him back, willing to go to £9500 if it's very tidy and I have a good margin in the outgoing car so I'm happy enough with the deal at that price. I tell him the "good news" "No no, that's miles away from where I'm at, not interested" "Sorry to hear that, may I ask what sort of figure did you have in mind?" I ask. "Well, I was expecting at the very least, you to offer me a straight swap. You have the profit I'm sure in the Mercedes, so it would make sense for you to do a straight swap" "Ok, well whilst I can see how that is attractive to you it means I am having to value your car £1250 over it's worth and I have to sell two cars to make one cars' worth of profit" I state. "No no" he continues, "you still have the profit in the Mercedes so you're not losing out" "Hmm, well that means the profit from the Mercedes in theory transfers to your BMW, in essence, and that means I'm having to sell two cars, the Mercedes and your BMW to get my profit, the profit on one car, meaning I'm standing to make nothing on your BMW, which with respect, isn't attractive to me given it may take several weeks to sell your BMW, as nice as it sounds" *3-5 seconds of silence as it dawns on him his maths is so bad it's embarrassing* "ooohh eeerr...no but...errrr" he stammers "I'm sorry we couldn't make a deal" I interrupt to save his blushes "but perhaps it may be better for you to advertise your car privately and give me a call when you have sold it and we can get you in this fine looking Mercedes I have" "Yeah, exactly what I was going to say" he lies on "I will sell it privately, that's what I'll do. If I'm still interested I'll ring you back and make you an offer on the Mercedes" Don't bother I thought. I sold it on Saturday, full asking price to a sensible bloke who could add up. I don't know how some people survive in the world.

/\ /\ /\ This If I still lived in Kent I'd be banged up for attempted Murder by now

4 times? He'd have had two viewings and be told no, FO by his third attempt!

Just taken one of these in part ex, 2002 74k full history a proper tidy thing bit old for us to retail so gonna dealer auction this bad boy seems a shame really its ridiculous nice. Anyone have experience of these ?

Not heard much from you TG! Was gonna message you. What’s been happening last few months? Still with the business partner?

Repeated viewings are becoming a British pastime for timewasting dreamers & chancers viewing what they can’t afford. They get 1 viewing at my emporium of shite, if they attempt to come for a 2nd they’re asked “Have you a deposit ready?” and when I hear the almost inevitable “No” these pillocks are politely told to do one. It’s been a while since I’ve been quoted Parker’s but that ALWAYS led to a prompt termination of discussions. The sale ain’t going nowhere because at this point they’ve been ‘price conditioned’ and ain’t going to believe the big nasty motor trader.

If they don’t pick it up and you’re no more than an hour and a half away from Peterborough I’ll have it

no one likes to think you are making a profit out of them its the british way but t if they dont mind you putting bread on the table they are always a pleasure to deal with

Haha I had to explain that theory to a guy who offered £1,500 less for a Honda type S a few weeks back He didn't understand the concept of PROFIT and was thinking the whole £7,995 was money to play with saying I still had £6,495 so whats the problem . No idea where his wages actually came from

@David Horgan Mr H. you just like upsetting 'buyers' ! Can't understand you,customer does all his home work writes it all down and you slap him in the face! ! As you say they simply do not understand ANY part of how it all works!

Good old bus. Still have a following.

Long ago there was an Irish pikey guy in Dartford used to sell "Cut and Shuts", I was there one day when a punter was rucking, he was a big old boy, and the paddy calmly said to the bloke "look at it this way mate, ya got 2 Cars for the price of one"

You can lead a horse to water!

Puts my £50 Halfords set to shame (big smiles)

Hmmmmmm indeed A couple of years ago I watched a local Garage Owner using an Air Hacksaw to cut the middle section out of a 4X4 Pick Up (Navara or similar), in order to replace a rotten and leaking Engine Sump without dropping the S/Frame, then he welded the centre bit back in afterwards FFS (there isn't an emoji for that emoji) Here's some of the promised Snap On Porn, although I have to admit it's all way too dusty right now ................

Well done Mark. Incredibly rare to get a thank you in person / phone or email after fixing someones car free of charge during warranty periods. You did the right thing by them and they appreciated it. Decent people.

Leave it out Dave. We’re talking about a bloke starting out doing a few cars from a driveway trying to keep costs down whilst he’s learning. I did say i’m not encouraging him to pull in any old herbert from a bus stop but to find a keen qualified local lad who chases the pound note. When he expands and takes on more complicated stuff and larger volume he can seek out a brick and mortar place.