Clucking Bell

[BHM 994]

The idiots are out in force.

I’ve had a barrage of idiotic phone calls, a pensioner expecting my £4000 car to be like their 2 week old Motability car that “we’ve just bought”  (I’d call it rented with benefits money) but thankfully his leeks won’t fit in the back so I didn’t even get to refuse a test drive and walk-in from another pensioner, this time carrying a plastic bag on his way to the shops who’s just rejected an Internet-purchase car & now has money burning a hole in his pocket. For his money he wants something with plenty of spec, a nice shape (eh?), sensible miles, leather would be nice and AUTOMATIC!!!! His budget is £1500, possibly £2000. After starting to politely sack him off I changed tack & just let rip & told him a few truths. I suspect he won’t be returning. He honestly thinks £1500 buys the Earth! What fucking medication are these imbeciles on?

16 minutes ago, MattR said:

Bollocks. Absolute Bollocks. Selling sub 5k involves a new MOT and a service, thats enough to keep most punters happy. As for 'paying by credit card and knowing all about CRA 15', thats shit.

I’m more or less with you on this. I prep hard, above MOT standards, & get next to no comebacks. I’ve only put my hand in my pocket (for comebacks) twice in the last two years - once for £50 & the other a tenner. Admittedly being a one man band & only selling a handful a month helps keep the screamers away.

However I don’t deal with credit punters, I talk straight, don’t over promise & simply will not deal with those expecting the red carpet treatment or if I smell the scent of Eau de Fussy Bastard.

Edited May 22, 2021 by BHM

[Bmx Bandits 52]

I’m sure most of the main dealers selling older vehicles will be doing so out of necessity, their sales managers will be trying to fill the block hole left in their budgets from the fall in their new car sales.

The reality is once these cars go into the franchise workshops they will be pulled apart, the majority of main dealers tech’s hate working on older and non franchise cars,  the only people earning money out of them will be the service dept. 

I can’t help but imagine that when the tap for new car sales turns on again the franchise’s that have survived will go back to what they know best - selling shiny new things.

[trade vet 702]

35 minutes ago, MattR said:

Bollocks. Absolute Bollocks. Selling sub 5k involves a new MOT and a service, thats enough to keep most punters happy. As for 'paying by credit card and knowing all about CRA 15', thats shit. They either have the cash, borrow off family or Finance it. Might get asked every now and again about credit card but thats normally a parent trying to get extra points when buying their kids a car. Cant remember the last time I got quoted CRA 15. That only happens if youve ignored a lunatic asking for your help. I help them if its needed, they appreciate it and never grumble.

Thank you MFR for your contribution,when I refer to cheapies I mean £1500 and under.Please try again.

[MattR 177]

Markets changed. 1500 and under is scrap. Cheapies are up to 4k.

[trade vet 702]

48 minutes ago, MattR said:

Markets changed. 1500 and under is scrap. Cheapies are up to 4k.

Where is your pitch is it in Mayfair.

[MattR 177]

4 minutes ago, trade vet said:

Where is your pitch is it in Mayfair.

Nowhere near. But we do have indoor toilets. And it is 2021, not 2001.

[trade vet 702]

10 minutes ago, MattR said:

Nowhere near. But we do have indoor toilets. And it is 2021, not 2001.

Ha Ha ,well in Newcastle you can’t do a £3500 deal and tell the punter it must be trailered away.If you don’t want to tell us the area you operate in,that’s OK.

[MattR 177]

No need to say it needs trailering away? £3500 is a cheapie, but is retail and comes with a warranty from here. 

[Rory RSC 596]

12 minutes ago, trade vet said:

Ha Ha ,well in Newcastle you can’t do a £3500 deal and tell the punter it must be trailered away.If you don’t want to tell us the area you operate in,that’s OK.

Sold many this month?

[trade vet 702]

21 minutes ago, MattR said:

No need to say it needs trailering away? £3500 is a cheapie, but is retail and comes with a warranty from here. 

OK but I think most traders would still describe downing a cheapie as having no warranty and no prep.I’m out.

[trade vet 702]

31 minutes ago, Rory RSC said:

Sold many this month?

Brokered an old Daimler XJ Double Six resurrection job deal the other day.Only a ‘cheapie ‘ though 5 grand.Some would say a scrapper.I do call in to the pitch and they are still very busy.

[David Horgan 564]

22 hours ago, trade vet said:

Ultimate risk taker,you must be exceptional DH retailing cheapies,I don’t know any quality pitches retailing cheapies these days.You must have a good system in place although plenty of Doorsteppers appear to still do OK with them without comebacks.I thought CRA 15 and ‘ fit for purpose etc ‘ put paid to proper pitches doing them.In the distant past I used to get excited taking in good cheapies and retailing them without touching them.Now cheapie punters expect a fresh ticket,pay by credit card and know all about CRA 15.

I'm thinking cheapies in your head and whats about now in my head may be two different levels of price band .

my cheapies start at £3,295 to £4,995 retail 

£1,500 bangers are very few and far apart now if you want them to move by engine power anyway . Leave them to the face book brigade to play with , 

Though i do have a guy who buys those £200/£500 bangers off us and he kills them on face book . £995 almost anything he reckons , Here's the keys mate get on with it , 

I had a Kia Picanto the other day 05 plate battered thing , Guy drove it 200 miles to us , burning oil all the way like a BP oil spill it was . Gave him nothing for it as in Zero money . Just free ride down here to see us from Darlington near you  some class Kia's up your way 

Called the scrap man and he gave me bloody £366 for it  and collected it too , thought may god stock is going up in price 

 

Edited May 22, 2021 by David Horgan

[TRADE SURVIVOR 33]

Oh for the days when motors were painted in cellulose sorted many a bloomed minor or zephyr, spend a day with compound. t cut, wax and wire wool for the chrome, tyre paint and wash the engine down with petrol off all things (HSE would have field day now). Clean the points up, clean out the out the filters. Mint ball on the forecourt and a decent profit. These days most older p/ex we only allow scrap value.       

Edited May 22, 2021 by TRADE SURVIVOR

[trade vet 702]

1 hour ago, TRADE SURVIVOR said:

Oh for the days when motors were painted in cellulose sorted many a bloomed minor or zephyr, spend a day with compound. t cut, wax and wire wool for the chrome, tyre paint and wash the engine down with petrol off all things (HSE would have field day now). Clean the points up, clean out the out the filters. Mint ball on the forecourt and a decent profit. These days most older p/ex we only allow scrap value.       

If the millennials knew what it was like, they would understand why we like to refer to the old days.Do you recall it was normal to carry a donkey choker,I think it gave you more credibility.Once got poisoned with using wire wool,used loads of it on bumpers,hub caps,wing mirrors,window frames,wiper arms and no plates.They put my arm in a sling but I still watched the pitch.The thing is the traders who operated in the 50’s thought we had it hard.If they operated now they would be slitting their wrists.

[Frank Cannon 812]

Wire wool on chrome, that's a real blast from the past

15 hours ago, David Horgan said:

I'm thinking cheapies in your head and whats about now in my head may be two different levels of price band .

my cheapies start at £3,295 to £4,995 retail 

£1,500 bangers are very few and far apart now if you want them to move by engine power anyway . Leave them to the face book brigade to play with , 

Though i do have a guy who buys those £200/£500 bangers off us and he kills them on face book . £995 almost anything he reckons , Here's the keys mate get on with it , 

I had a Kia Picanto the other day 05 plate battered thing , Guy drove it 200 miles to us , burning oil all the way like a BP oil spill it was . Gave him nothing for it as in Zero money . Just free ride down here to see us from Darlington near you  some class Kia's up your way 

Called the scrap man and he gave me bloody £366 for it  and collected it too , thought may god stock is going up in price 

 

It's all relative isn't it. I'm continually reminded just how much money new cars are, 20k Clio's and Fiestas etc......not that any are sold outright anymore being as though its all some sort of strap now. 

14 hours ago, TRADE SURVIVOR said:

Oh for the days when motors were painted in cellulose sorted many a bloomed minor or zephyr, spend a day with compound. t cut, wax and wire wool for the chrome, tyre paint and wash the engine down with petrol off all things (HSE would have field day now). Clean the points up, clean out the out the filters. Mint ball on the forecourt and a decent profit. These days most older p/ex we only allow scrap value.       

Yup, no point in trying to mop many faded newer cars, the colours bloomed under the clearcoat. 

[David Horgan 564]

20 hours ago, TRADE SURVIVOR said:

These days most older p/ex we only allow scrap value.

Customer coming up here to collect his car on Wed , using a scrapper as transport . Another Picanto , had one last week that went scrap . 

Just agreed £50 px , Scrap price is £376 collected  makes me smile more than the profit on his 18k car 

see what appears first though , way the trade is we might get it gone for more yet , 

[TRADE SURVIVOR 33]

Always a buzz when a cheapie provides a decent return, I wonder is it that metal prices are rising or is the uplift in scrap due to parts shortages? Whichever way happy days. went off subject with my memories of t-cut and tyre paint in earlier post, so back to main dealers retailing older motors don't think they understand the customer and expectation that buyers of older cars have. Little or no knowledge of the common faults on their non franchise p/x's setting themselves up for a fall in my opinion.

[CRW 73]

8 minutes ago, twerp said:

Who's offering that much ? 

scrapcarnetwork only offering £270 on a 2004 Fiesta here

+ 1

That's crazy money, was quite happy getting £180 for cars collected, feeling a bit ripped off now!

[David Horgan 564]

2 hours ago, twerp said:

Who's offering that much ? 

scrapcarnetwork only offering £270 on a 2004 Fiesta here

Place called CARTAKEBACK 

www.cartakeback.com 

1 hour ago, CRW said:

+ 1

That's crazy money, was quite happy getting £180 for cars collected, feeling a bit ripped off now!

www.cartakeback.com 

What i thought . put reg in , price comes up and bingo collected and paid up . 

Edited May 24, 2021 by David Horgan

[Frank Cannon 812]

I'm gutted, a Clio, admittedly sitting on steels, clawed £169 few weeks back

Probably more saddening is that the lady owner, drove it from over an hour away with canvas for front tyres, a brake pedal that felt more like a clutch it was so long and, dropping more oil on the front pipe than the Amoco Cadiz....

.....all with her precious toddler in the back, he will probably grow up with a smokers cough because of it. 

Edited May 24, 2021 by Frank Cannon

[BHM 994]

1 hour ago, Frank Cannon said:

Probably more saddening is that the lady owner, drove it from over an hour away with canvas for front tyres, a brake pedal that felt more like a clutch it was so long and, dropping more oil on the front pipe than the Amoco Cadiz....

.....all with her precious toddler in the back

These are often the same punters who ask questions like “Is it safe?”, “Any advisories?” & “What are the tyres like?”, because they like to make out they’re fussy about roadworthiness.

[David Horgan 564]

1 hour ago, Frank Cannon said:

Probably more saddening is that the lady owner, drove it from over an hour away with canvas for front tyres, a brake pedal that felt more like a clutch it was so long and, dropping more oil on the front pipe than the Amoco Cadiz.

The Picanto we took last week was like that , 

Came from 200 miles away to us , he admitted he had to pump the brakes to keep a pedal , and filled the oil every 50 miles , Like mobile smoke screen when it arrived , Incredible how they keep the junk so long .

Always makes me think when the tyre disposal truck comes and we look at what weve taken off cars on the road , bald , split , canvas , steel cords , just visible tread pattern , then you think these bloody idiots are on the road among us .

27th Nov 2020 i had a young lad run into the back of me on a set of traffic light , slammed into my rear bumper at 30/35 mph , heard him sliding . "Sorry mate it didn't stop I tried honest " 

His tyres were non existent regards Tread , nothing at all on the rear , 1mm maybe on front . " just bought it mate dint know " 

Thought you will when cops get here  he got a ticket for the tyres lol he was insured as well , lucky me . 

 

Edited May 24, 2021 by David Horgan

[BHM 994]

34 minutes ago, David Horgan said:

he was insured as well , lucky me .

You should be grateful it wasn’t one of my customers on their way home. The number who leave here saying they’ll sort their insurance when they get home astounds me. It’s not restricted to banger buyers either.

Edited May 24, 2021 by BHM

[BHM 994]

4 hours ago, David Horgan said:

Place called CARTAKEBACK 

www.cartakeback.com 

www.cartakeback.com 

What i thought . put reg in , price comes up and bingo collected and paid up . 

Thank you very much, you’ve just made me very happy. I used them a couple of years ago & but had forgotten all about them. 

I’ve got a shite p/x that I was going to nail back together - I punched in the reg. & have been offered £505! I couldn’t fucking believe it! Guess where it’s going 

[Frank Cannon 812]

1 hour ago, BHM said:

You should be grateful it wasn’t one of my customers on their way home. The number who leave here saying they’ll sort their insurance when they get home astounds me. It’s not restricted to banger buyers either.

Yup, and rent too.