Dave2302

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I found a reset for ELV Counter on Snap On and did that, it hasn't acted up since, have been starting it on and off all day, will see how it goes. Battery is good, looks recent and has good Cranking Volts, yeah I read about the IBS and other things you mention ............ I won't retail it, I'll sell it to one of the local drifters spares or repairs for a bit of kesh, it owes me fuck all lol

Did I ever mention I hate BMW's with a passion ................ Anyway, I took this heap of shit in as a chopper against a nice 2012 ML, so here's what happens ............. More often than not it starts fine from cold, but when warmed up a little put key in slot, and a lot of the time up comes this wonderful little yellow Steering Wheel Locked Icon picture and it won't crank or start .... My up to date Snap On reveals no fault codes that could be even remotely related and no low voltage codes. Dont ask about the INPA / ISTA / EDIABAS / WINKFP / WANK / USELESS PIECE OF SHIT Diag Machine that I already spent way too much time and money on and have yet to get it to connect with any fuckin BMW pile of shit Some say Battery, but it doesn't look that old ............. Some say Reset a Counter in the CAS (key useage start counter) IDFK, Some say there is a s/w update for the CAS or replacement Module, (TSB ID: 61 28 06), some say needs a new Column and Steering Lock which all comes as one assembly and is well over £1k, ............................... Many others say it's the Stig .................. I just call it a cnut Seriously shall I just give the fuckin thing to the Scrappy Doo Pikey next time he's about, it isn't exactly the nicest Car anyway, been driven by the usual "Ultimate Driving Machine" Wanker, and I don't think "maintenance and repair" was in his vocabulary Anybody got a sensible answer aside from Scrappy Doo or a galleon of unleaded and a match EDIT:- I just got into CAS Module with Snap On and it is now posting Code "A116 ESL Critical Status" Is this the reset counter issue, if so anyone know if Snap On can do that ??? TIA

That's what we all think up here, definitely selfish arrogant disrespectful do as we likey types Now you've gone and bleedin' done it, there will only be sparrows for sale now

I agree with you both, + 1

Good point TV ................... Regarding Tech Kit, Snap On Solus Ultra Pro, that is very good for Diagnosis and Data these days, and if you need to do programming INPA / ISTA / EDIABAS plus all the other bitties of s/w is very good and cheap enough ........... Word of caution, don't try and install that INPA / ISTA shit yourself, I tried 2 different sellers discs, never could get the bastard to communicate and work right, in the end I paid one of 'em to do remote install via Team Viewer I might upgrade now to Icom sometime soon, I'm actually using the ISTA today, it's good but a bit archaic these days........... Edit :- Actually I'm not using the fuckin thing because once again the pile of crap won't actually connect to the bloody car, time for the bin me thinks I expect you've already got some or all that anyways HTH

Same here, thankfully we don't have as many of these wankers up here as you guys do, but for the many tourists since lockdown ended, but this year they seem to be even more disrespectful knobs than usual, we've never had so much lunacy this is the worst year ever Like i said earlier, I just know I'm gonna jump up and down on one of these tossers soon Love it, as ever Christmas, jeez i reckon it will be getting a lot worse by then Only 3 months away now btw

Awww I'm gutted

FFS I can only recommend condoms or castration

I hate anything with a 4 Cylinder I wish you the best of luck in these challenging times, but yeah, you gotta go with what you want to do, and so far you seem to have found a nice little niche

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/\ /\ /\ like No doubt she was "exempt" from wearing it for reason(s) which you are not allowed to ask, and which do not require her to prove that, although if she is a really clever bastard she can print herself a dumb arsed badge off the internet to say she's exempt, and then grin and point at the stoopid badge when questioned Just one more case in point where I rest my case that the UK is totally fucked up beyond redemption. Personally, I'd refuse to serve the wankers. Not only but also .... That Covid is very intelligent for a Virus .... It is sympathetic, you can have 30 folks at your Funeral and it will leave 'em alone, but it doesn't like marriages, only 6 at your wedding or it will get ya, it also doesn't come out before 10pm, you can get as pissed as you like in big groups at your local, hugging kissing and fighting with your fellow piss heads and it won't get ya until after 10pm , if you are a whole load of students who have the Virus in Edinburgh you can make a noise whining whingeing and protesting and now the Virus has relented and you are all allowed to go home to wherever you live in the UK and obviously the Virus won't spread to the areas you go home to .................................... and on and on and on .................... Anyone else got any current corkers ?

Problem is the great unwashed unmasked, (love that btw), these scuffy bastards know that it cannot be enforced / police don't bother and when shop staff question the fuckers, they just become abusive and in some cases violent. It is questionable whether you are actually (in law) entitled to challenge the knob jockeys, and although you have a right to refuse service, again it just provokes the usual toss pot piss ant confrontational responses most of the time ........... Now that likely doesn't bother some of you, especially the old skool guys like me, FFS we'll have a row with any bugger, but some people feel physically sick at the thought of confrontation, case in point Mels shop assistants two of whom have since jacked their jobs in due to it ................ Remember this is just a small local supermarket in a very rural area, so we don't exactly get fisticuffs or knives and guns pointed, but some of these bastards physically throw their shopping baskets and get very up front and abusive to the mostly female staff Funnily enough, a few weeks back when things were really bad, during the worst "peak" time for arse wipes, I went in their and mulled around with a security jacket on, (saturday arvo when the tourists are arriving), and fuck me not one of them had the balls to get all mouthy with me when I stopped 'em at the door pointed to the bloody great sign in red and told 'em, no masks no service

Sadly I disagree .............. I'm not saying I support Boris, not at all ............. What I am saying is he has an impossible and thankless task which is mostly as a result of all the many inept fucktards who were voted in before him, plus the C-19 and Brexit nonesense to contend with. I gave up wasting time voting long long time ago, the UK is and has been fucked for many years and is only getting worse, IMHO it is now way past fixing However, like many of us, I just plod on, do my work and whilst I get thrashed for various tax money which is supporting the many many unworthy, like a lot of us I still get a reasonable standard of living. I don't get any of what my taxes are supposed to pay for, like the roads are shit, policing is shit, health care is shit, OAP is a pittance etc etc, but I do thank fuck that I do not live in or near a city now like many of you guys do

+1 .......................... Did you hear the Boris fucktard spouting "We are relying on the common sense of the public" .................... Well that's the lot of us fucked then

Every 3rd Diesel I get in for a service up here has this strange red coloured shit in it's fuel filter

Everyone has said it, basically because they are ignorant selfish fucktards who know fine well the woefully inadequate Police will / can do fuck all ........... Meanwhile my partner Mel and her shop staff keep getting abused by these twunts. I swear to you all I'm gonna be the one who gets nicked soon because I'm going to absolutely demolish one of these tossers Came close a few weeks ago when some Motorcyclist was doing 3 figures through our village, he got arsey with me when I caught up with them down the road at a Cafe and told him and his mate they were wankers. Disrespectful (r)unt got all mouthy, lunged forward at me then looked shocked when he was sat on his arse with my foot on his throat If it wasn't true it'd be funny, several times Mel has had baskets of shopping hurled across the shop because they have refused to serve the mask-less bastards, the staff rung the cops, who have refused to come out because I quote "The perp will be long gone by the time we get there" !! I take it that statement would apply then if I went and blagged a few Building Societies Errrrm isn't that the whole point of having a state of the art CCTV system ???????????????? The vast majority of the UK populace are disrespectful do as ya likey bastards I do not believe Masks work, but I have one in each of our vehicles and always wear it in the shops etc out of respect for others !! Rant Over

Trouble is no fucker will police it, supposed to have been wearing them for ages now in Mel's shop, the staff refuse to serve the arse's and then get a load of abuse Useless wanker Cops not interested

Exactly, I've been doing that for years now, all good as long as you know what you are looking at I have never believed in selling thousands of items for hundreds profit, don't be a busy fool, sell tens of items for thousands profit

/\ /\ /\ This I know an English fella bought a derelict house off the beaten track in the NW Highlands, close to me, it's Ballachulish Slate Roof was perfect tho ............... By the time the sale had gone through and he came to start restoring it, all the Slates had mysteriously been stolen from the Roof, so he set up his Static Caravan, and started the rebuild ................. Yep, you guessed it, a couple of weeks after he arrived a local Builder just happened to have a surplus of these Slates, "I've got enough to do that roof buddy" ................ He sold 'em to the fella for £2k

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Exactly that Mark, to be fair a lot of my Customers do apologise if they realise there wasn't a lot of fuel when they see the bill Oh man, them bloody remaps, I've recently had a bunch of Diesel Mercs with all sorts of issues, like trans shifts, cooling fans, ABS / ESP issues etc, I think there is some new twat in Inverness area doing 'em I'm certain some of these twats just buy a Chinesium KTag and then think they are a pro remapper 'cos they did their old Astra with it

I'll tell ya wot boils my piss is when a customer brings a car in for work, often complex engine or running gear issues that need a lot of road testing, and the bastard light is on ................. I take 'em straight up our filling station, stick £50 in the fucker and add that onto my repair invoice with a photo copy of the receipt from petrol station

Nice one David, yes there are still some decent Customers about Winner winner chicken dinner as they say in the Norwest

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