COVID WEIRDO VAG MAN LOL about time i had a laugh lol

[David Horgan 564]

Sunday phone rings , Guy wants an appointment to see us today at 2 pm . Mr W he says in an attitude i didn't warm too shall we say .

Ok then that's down in the diary for 2pm, whats your name and number as its a withheld number . He says he will give his first name and number if he buys the car , mmmmm ok but do ring us before you leave home then . 

Anyway he arrives today with mask on , virus spray for inside the car , rubber gloves and his mate who is " you guessed" VAG man specialist complete with VAG COM   The guy goes we need your car lift , "OK" , I've bought my own trade plates from a friend to test drive it "OK "and we need one hour on our own to go through the diagnostics and test the car is fit for purpose before I make you an offer "OK " I will be paying you by cash , £13,995 LOL 

My response was , your not touching my property with that spray as its not approved for use in my cars because I say so , You are not touching my ramps as your neither qualified or insured to do so , Your not going to break the law by using borrowed trade plates in my property as if you do this nice man here will give you a ticket " traffic cop friend on site ", If you think you or anyone else is plugging diagnostics into my car then you are sadly mistaken . The price is as per screen and no offers are being considered plus for money laundering regulations I wont take that amount of cash from you anyway . 

So please close the door as you leave my premises I told him . 

His face was a picture , 

 

Cheeky git 

[justina3 518]

saved yourself three hours of running around and being spoken to like a child for sure good call. 

[MattR 177]

1 hour ago, David Horgan said:

Sunday phone rings , Guy wants an appointment to see us today at 2 pm . Mr W he says in an attitude i didn't warm too shall we say .

Ok then that's down in the diary for 2pm, whats your name and number as its a withheld number . He says he will give his first name and number if he buys the car , mmmmm ok but do ring us before you leave home then . 

Anyway he arrives today with mask on , virus spray for inside the car , rubber gloves and his mate who is " you guessed" VAG man specialist complete with VAG COM   The guy goes we need your car lift , "OK" , I've bought my own trade plates from a friend to test drive it "OK "and we need one hour on our own to go through the diagnostics and test the car is fit for purpose before I make you an offer "OK " I will be paying you by cash , £13,995 LOL 

My response was , your not touching my property with that spray as its not approved for use in my cars because I say so , You are not touching my ramps as your neither qualified or insured to do so , Your not going to break the law by using borrowed trade plates in my property as if you do this nice man here will give you a ticket " traffic cop friend on site ", If you think you or anyone else is plugging diagnostics into my car then you are sadly mistaken . The price is as per screen and no offers are being considered plus for money laundering regulations I wont take that amount of cash from you anyway . 

So please close the door as you leave my premises I told him . 

His face was a picture , 

 

Cheeky git 

What planet are they on? They really dont deserve the time of day. I do wonder how he will ever buy a car with those expectations. Fantastic response, bullet dodged. 

[PhilA&S 2]

Imagine if you sold a car to him and God forbid it developed a problem. 

[BHM 994]

1 hour ago, PhilA&S said:

Imagine if you sold a car to him and God forbid it developed a problem. 

Very true. Let Cazoo entertain him.

[MrC 142]

But it's cash... Cash = money off! 

 

 

[MarkTVS 209]

When people want discount for cash I’m generally fairly obliging and will usually offer to discount the 2% cash handling charge so they’ll only have to pay the screen price. I’m a nice guy like that. 

[BHM 994]

How times change. It wasn’t that long ago cash meant pound notes, no receipt, f*** off & don’t come back. Nowadays a cash man means a bank transfer, receipt & then chance his arm for as much comeback as he likes. 
 

On a serious note, Mr VW wants an hour’s UNACCOMPANIED ramp time, plug-in his pal’s obd reader, brought another pal’s trade plates for his test drive, he’s laying the law down “Ok” , then if he’s satisfied he’ll then make a reduced offer. Who the fuck is going to entertain this cretin? I cannot think of a single person who would do so.

Edited July 16, 2020 by BHM

[trade vet 702]

11 hours ago, MarkTVS said:

When people want discount for cash I’m generally fairly obliging and will usually offer to discount the 2% cash handling charge so they’ll only have to pay the screen price. I’m a nice guy like that. 

Don’t like straight cash deals unless it is on old stock.On the odd occasion I have said sorry no discount we would prefer to wait for someone with a p/x unless you have something to put in.Then they say something like Auntie Barbara has a Micra she doesn’t use any more and you get that instead and retail it.

[BHM 994]

55 minutes ago, trade vet said:

Don’t like straight cash deals unless it is on old stock.On the odd occasion I have said sorry no discount we would prefer to wait for someone with a p/x unless you have something to put in.Then they say something like Auntie Barbara has a Micra she doesn’t use any more and you get that instead and retail it.

The days of turning away a punter without a p/x & instead preferring to wait for a nice swapper aren’t a luxury many can afford nowadays.

[It's me 615]

 

anyone  who fails to acknowledge a contact number is not entertained

we are in control

 

[David Horgan 564]

Another one , this time contact at once on Autotrader 

" Hello hope your not being to affected by the world problems of Covid , " To help you sell a car I'm in a position to take a look at your Fiesta Edge that would be the most perfect car for my daughters first car , Please text me back when you've made arrangements to bring it along so i can test drive its suitability for her . 

She lives 300 miles away from us ,  the car is £4,195 

What in blue blazes is this world of silly expectations coming too ? 

I answered "I cant bring along my dear as its too far to walk home at my age  " 

[MarkTVS 209]

47 minutes ago, David Horgan said:

Another one , this time contact at once on Autotrader 

" Hello hope your not being to affected by the world problems of Covid , " To help you sell a car I'm in a position to take a look at your Fiesta Edge that would be the most perfect car for my daughters first car , Please text me back when you've made arrangements to bring it along so i can test drive its suitability for her . 

She lives 300 miles away from us ,  the car is £4,195 

What in blue blazes is this world of silly expectations coming too ? 

I answered "I cant bring along my dear as its too far to walk home at my age  " 

You seem to attract all the basket case customers 

[Halfpenny 114]

12 hours ago, trade vet said:

Don’t like straight cash deals unless it is on old stock.On the odd occasion I have said sorry no discount we would prefer to wait for someone with a p/x unless you have something to put in.Then they say something like Auntie Barbara has a Micra she doesn’t use any more and you get that instead and retail it.

Really?  Business must be good!

[BHM 994]

Just now, Halfpenny said:

Really?  Business must be good!

Cos he’s retired 

Edited July 16, 2020 by BHM

[trade vet 702]

54 minutes ago, BHM said:

Cos he’s retired 

Supposed to be,technically yes I am.I like being on the pitch,checking the stock,talking to punters and hearing the day to day problems and discussing how to solve them.( not tech problems because modern cars are generally shite ), which gets me annoyed. Mind since lockdown haven’t been very much.Anyway,straight sales with no swapper to retail on or some prime finance are not worth doing especially now when stock is hard to replace.( it may be different for doorsteppers ).

[MattR 177]

18 hours ago, David Horgan said:

Another one , this time contact at once on Autotrader 

" Hello hope your not being to affected by the world problems of Covid , " To help you sell a car I'm in a position to take a look at your Fiesta Edge that would be the most perfect car for my daughters first car , Please text me back when you've made arrangements to bring it along so i can test drive its suitability for her . 

She lives 300 miles away from us ,  the car is £4,195 

What in blue blazes is this world of silly expectations coming too ? 

I answered "I cant bring along my dear as its too far to walk home at my age  " 

How generous of her to think about helping you to stay in business