Pain in the arse - knowall customers

[Del Boy 76]

We all get the painfull 'customers'. I am interested to know what you guys look out for in order to avoid selling to them?

My number 1 hatred is the 'home mechanic' type. You know, the sort that thinks they know the in's and out's of a ducks arsehole...but spends most of the time checking if all the indicators work!

I had a guy looking at a BMW 3 series. He bought his 'mechanic' mate with him. The 'mechanic' spent his entire time looking over the car whilst listening to the horse racing on his phone (on loudspeaker). We went for a test drive and within 30 seconds he shouted 'oh no, oh good god no!!' ' What is the quickest way back please?'   I didnt even bother to ask him what he 'thinks' is the problem just took the keys off him and walked off. I sold the car to someone else a couple days later and never heard another word from the happy customer.

Then another guy who 'knows everything there is to know about cars' stating he has seen it all and has an answer for everything, asks me why my company name is not on the log book? THE CAR IS STOLEN!!! He says. At that point I think why bother even try expaining to him. Can you imagine the sort of hassle this bloke would cause afterwards?

Anyway, do you guys have any tell tale signs you look for? Or even qualify on the phone beforehand?

 

Cheers

[Ocsltd 133]

You can usually tell a cock on the phone.

Had one this morning, rang yesterday on a 5 series BMW, to book an appointment for this morning. Sounded like a right carrot crunching hill billy, so straight away knew what I was dealing with....

I got here this morning and he's already crawling underneath the car! (He's turned up in a Freelander )

This BMW is perfect, it really is a peach, 1 owner, fbmwsh, perfect mot history, never had a single advisory blah blah blah....

Anyway, he compliments the car, say's it just as described, but it's not the blue they thought it was?! (It's dark blue in the pictures and it's still dark blue on the forecourt. He then say's there's three things he doesn't like, the colour, the run flats and the price. 

He then does the usual of trying to compare it to a run of the mill example, which I remind him this isn't a run of the mill example! He then bids me £2k under the asking price. I laughed, shook his hand, and walked away. (I felt like punching him.!!)

The short arse little cretin really made my blood boil.

Anyway, rant over, next.......

[Del Boy 76]

7 minutes ago, Ocsltd said:

Anyway, he compliments the car, say's it just as described, but it's not the blue they thought it was?!

This is another one that irritates me. Its a blatent 'get out clause' for any car buyer

[Ocsltd 133]

Just now, Del Boy said:

This is another one that irritates me. Its a blatent 'get out clause' for any car buyer

Absolutely, or they don't like the colour of the leather... 

[MattR 177]

I really wouldnt EVER want to sell to one of these 'punters'. i (almost) never need a car'taking off my hands' by one of these thieves.

[Lakeside 94]

As much as I want a car to sell I always try and talk those types out of buying it.

As soon as I detect a potential fussy future hassle customer that start questioning silly little things I will almost always tell them that maybe this isn’t the car for you. 

[It's me 613]

if they turn up in shorts i know i wont like them

this is england not marbella

[EPV 631]

I had one call last week on a 545i tourer I have and he was the biggest bmw bore in the world. Knew every engine and chassis code and wasn’t afraid to tell me everything he knew. Ended up by asking me the boot size, in litres capacity. Suddenly, someone “just came in and I need to deal with them” and he hasn’t rang back since thankfully. 

[Stalker 180]

Ive just had one one a 15 Plate Audi A6 TDI 190BHP - Saying the turbo is making a noise!

I said "well im glad it it is, cos if it wasn't making said noise the turbo isnt working"

Hes off to price up a turbo!

Pillock

[RHO 15]

Had one yesterday. On the phone asked if the Jag X type we have for spares/ repairs has service history and warranty. No,  can I come and look at it, I'm in the trade too, No. Goodbye. To much stress on a Friday. 

Car is £395 with mot until November. Needs discs & pads. WTF.  Getting too blunt in my old age......

[justlooking 48]

1 hour ago, Lakeside said:

As much as I want a car to sell I always try and talk those types out of buying it.

As soon as I detect a potential fussy future hassle customer that start questioning silly little things I will almost always tell them that maybe this isn’t the car for you. 

when they ask you 'why do you say that' what is your response? because I'd like to do similar.

maybe the answer is 'because this is a used car, a new one is unlikely to have minute chip on the bonnet' etc.?

[Mark101 536]

I've currently got an 04 Golf Match in black (1.6 Petrol) - came in chop.

Quite horrible but washed up okish, 114k with MOT until 4/19 - on at £695 (only because it cleaned up so well but will drop below 5).

Guy asks me if it has service history and has the timing belt been done?

-------------------------------

Tiguan enquiry:

Can you read all the services out, date and mileage

What was the last owner like as a person

What brand of tyres are on it (I said black ones)

Have VW inspected it following the emissions scandal (they have actually with a letter included)

I am torn between yours and another one with a private seller, will you discount (no)

Told him (and followed it through), added £500 to the advert, told him it was too cheap - goodbye.

------------------------------------

BMW (all this in the ad)

How many owners (1 previous)

Any History (Yes)

Mileage 61k

Is it due a service (it has just been done by us A&B)

How long is the MOT (just done last week, no advisories)

OK thanks, goodbye (what did he want?)

[Del Boy 76]

I just had another one! 

Bloke phoned me asking about a 2.5k Fiesta we have in stock. 

I had the rear quarter and bumper sprayed last week, however it’s been done properly and looks good. Maybe a slight orange peel to the lacquer but overall very good. I would never expect a normal member of the public to notice it, let alone care about it coz it’s been finished so well. 

Anyway, he phoned and straight away said has it had any paint work done? Coz apparently he’s the bollocks at spotting orange peel.  I thought quickly and said I can’t say for sure but I would imagine it has considering its 11 years old. He said I won’t buy anything that has been accident damaged in any way. Then he started breaking my balls about how it’s due a cam belt etc. Then I heard his wife say ‘get his name!’  

At this point I thought this is a classic painful customer who I just don’t need in my life. 

The car is lovely and will sell soon. I just don’t need idiots giving me a hard time on the phone. Imagine how he’d be in the flesh! 

[Dan W 57]

Todays gem of a phone call.

Hi you've got a vitara automatic it looks to be about £1000 over priced.... that's his opening line.

I ask how he feels its overpriced ? oh I saw loads cheaper on autotrader... you may have seen loads cheaper on autotrader.......but they wont have been the spec mileage and model we have as only 5 of those are advertised on autotrader and ours is priced the second cheapest. the other being £200 less.

never mind that he says... how much you knocking off for cash buyer... we wouldn't discount that car as its near impossible stock to replace..
 

well I wouldn't buy a car from someone at full price. oh ok sorry to hear that then but you wont be buying this one then. anything else I can do for you today..... phone went dead.

[Del Boy 76]

Dan, sounds like you’re having a similar day to me! Or week come to think of it! 

Been full of idiots this week moaning about cars for sale in the £800 price range 

[Dan W 57]

it has been a twat of a week, just one of those where people ask silly questions don't seem to want to buy and just sometimes plain down right insult you as a salesperson....

but saying that had a lovely white flagger this morning so swings and roundabouts.. 

[Del Boy 76]

10 minutes ago, tradex said:

Well what do you know, last thing yesterday guy comes on pitch on a 795 cheapy px of a 53 non dmf, non dpf 90 brake 307 2.0 HDi, 130k, all the doors, years ticket, 14 services, belted twice, really clean old thing, family owned and I don't mean the family of man....silver though

Last belt 'n pump at 101k/15.....guy insists they need a belt every 36k/3 like his Passat did "thats a VW isn't it, I'm not great on gernan cars?" with a slowly fracturing smile....even showed him the service book declared interval of 100k or 10 years "well they would say that, Peugeot want to sell more engines"..... "but they have sacrificial rockers so that even if.....ohh fuck it,  I can't be asked, theres the gate sir, I'm using it anyway, its got 3/4 of a tank in it" got in the old bus, boot to floor and drove home, leaving my partner to lock up. 

 

First sub grand car in ages and I'm already sick of the penniless twats. 

I feel your pain! 

Ive got an £895 focus 2003. 

I hate the sub £1000 market. You would think it’s worth a punt at £895 as it’s in great condition, well serviced, years ticket and belt done. 

But no, I have had NOTHING but time wasters on it. No-shows, kids looking with their mates, dads wanting to inspect every square inch of it etc etc etc. 

 

[andymc1973 199]

cheap cars even cheaper punters

[Dan W 57]

Been rife this week, people thinking shitters should all have full history no marks or scratches.


58 fezza, 71k good condition.... customer says well its missed a service few scratches and its clearly had a dog in it at some stage, my reply yes it most likely has. not sure what you are hinting at here ?

its a 10 year old fiesta up at £3495 can I ask what you expected it to be like ?

his answer, well I have just seen a 63 plate one with less miles and in better condition, for only £3k more.  if I were you I would buy that one.

arrrghh cant wait for this week to end.

 

[BHM 994]

8 hours ago, Del Boy said:

Ive got an £895 focus 2003. 

 

How much!?!!! I don’t know whereabouts in the country you are but those heaps of shit are more like £395 up north.

I don’t mind the sub grand market - there are no more messers on a £600 turd than there are on £1500/£4000/8000 cars. Tbh I’d rather deal with a cheap car punter than a VW prick on a £2000 Golf.

[Del Boy 76]

13 minutes ago, BHM said:

How much!?!!! I don’t know whereabouts in the country you are but those heaps of shit are more like £395 up north.

I don’t mind the sub grand market - there are no more messers on a £600 turd than there are on £1500/£4000/8000 cars. Tbh I’d rather deal with a cheap car punter than a VW prick on a £2000 Golf.

Lol down south mate. 

To be fair it’s a tidy thing, 70k. Runs well. 

Had loads of interest in it, all wasters so far. 

[Arfur Dealy 823]

Any good runner with 12 months ticket is worth £800 imo

[It's me 613]

4 minutes ago, Arfur Dealy said:

Any good runner with 12 months ticket is worth £800 imo

£699 is better as these people normally want to spend £500 but realise by borrowing £200 more they get a better car

£800 is too near £1000 the golden ticket

[BHM 994]

25 minutes ago, Del Boy said:

Lol down south mate. 

To be fair it’s a tidy thing, 70k. Runs well. 

Had loads of interest in it, all wasters so far. 

I wish I could charge southern rates  If I had that up at that £895 I wouldn’t even get messers phoning, the phone would be dead - that’s newer shape money up here.

 

10 minutes ago, Arfur Dealy said:

Any good runner with 12 months ticket is worth £800 imo

You’re another on a different charging scale to me, I think I’ll have to move south.

[andymc1973 199]

3 hours ago, Dan W said:

Been rife this week, people thinking shitters should all have full history no marks or scratches.


58 fezza, 71k good condition.... customer says well its missed a service few scratches and its clearly had a dog in it at some stage, my reply yes it most likely has. not sure what you are hinting at here ?

its a 10 year old fiesta up at £3495 can I ask what you expected it to be like ?

his answer, well I have just seen a 63 plate one with less miles and in better condition, for only £3k more.  if I were you I would buy that one.

arrrghh cant wait for this week to end.

 

is that 58 plate first of the new shape?

 

Just now, andymc1973 said:

 

3 hours ago, Dan W said:

is that 58 plate first of the new shape?