My first screamer

[EPV 631]

Sold a 2009 petrol 2.0 VW Passat DSG Highline to a chap and his wife 4 weeks ago. Just took a call from him, stating he was very unhappy. Here we go I thought, gearbox time..

Nope. Apparently he can't get the OBC to read above 22.7 MPG. When he test drove the car it was showing 36.1 (not that it makes any difference but I let him continue) so he's adamant something is definitely wrong. When he arrived to first look at the car, he brought his own DIY diagnostic machine. I let him plug it in, I had nothing to hide but it probably should have given me a clue as to what I was dealing with. But he was pleasant enough and didn't haggle on the price, just left me his shitter of a Mondeo in chop.

Anyway, I asked him to brim the tank, record how much he paid per litre and drive it to near fumes so we can check what he is actually getting in real world, to determine whether it's the OBC or something else.

So, in preparation for his call in a week, what would you be thinking in this situation? I want to be prepared to deal with him professionally and properly but this isn't as easy to resolve as a knocking suspension part (black and white case of me fixing the car end of) and is based on so many variable of what ifs.

[twerp 69]

Ask about where he is driving (obviously city) and compare with the urban combined cycle figures which probably aren't far off in an old tech auto petrol.

[EPV 631]

He's probably doing a bit of urban, combined with the odd dual lane carriageway, 50mph type thing. Knowing where he lives and works, as he only uses it to get to work.

[have a word with the wife 299]

unless at point of sale you told him you will definitely get 36.1 mpg, i wouldnt worry [misdescribed]

[twerp 69]

^{It has also been a cold 4 weeks}

 

^{Sure it is getting upto temperature ?  (Thermostat)}

[It's me 613]

If he wanted economy why didnt he buy the ubiquitous diesel

mpg for a petrol sounds right to me,tell him to go on a long motorway run and he might get 36 but i doubt it

remember he gave the vehicle a full and proper inspection prior to purchase so basically its buyers remorse *or it certainly sounds like it) did it have a fresh mot at pos is so you will have the emissions print out? always worth keeping these on odball stuff

[EPV 631]

4 minutes ago, s and b said:

If he wanted economy why didnt he buy the ubiquitous diesel

mpg for a petrol sounds right to me,tell him to go on a long motorway run and he might get 36 but i doubt it

remember he gave the vehicle a full and proper inspection prior to purchase so basically its buyers remorse *or it certainly sounds like it) did it have a fresh mot at pos is so you will have the emissions print out? always worth keeping these on odball stuff

Yes, I have a PDI, signed by him etc.  MOT was done on the 6th Jan.

It's not so much what he's entitled to etc, it's more a case of what is fair an reasonable and keeps customers happy without dancing to his tune. He was rabbling on about taking it to a main dealer and re-calibrating the OBC ffs.

[EPV 631]

3 minutes ago, tradex said:

Is it reading US gallons per chance? 

He’s a jock so it could be reading Glaswegian gallons which are bottomless apparently 

[Mojo121 229]

I'd be telling him to take a hike. Honestly. The shit people come out with. What does he expect you to do? I wouldn't entertain this for much longer or he'll think he's got a soft one.

[MrC 142]

He's joking right

[Arfur Dealy 823]

Petrol Passatt dsg... that’s a rare car.. the fact he was a Mondeo man speaks volumes. Tell him if he wants economy he should of bought a bicycle. Don’t entertain him.

[whitestone679231 113]

Why not get the car in, reset the obc and potter off down m-way at 56mph for a few miles get it back up to 36mpg then tell him it must be him that’s driving like a t@@t .... but I think normal town driving in a dsg Petrol low to mid 20,s should be expected,  if he wanted economy he should have bought a diesel.... then moan about dpf light being on cus he never goes on mway... 

[EPV 631]

46 minutes ago, tradex said:

I think he should be congratulated for having balls big enough to buy a DSG Scotland the brave!

 

Reminds me a customer I had years back, whom bought a 4.0 Jeep Cherokee XJ, then moaned that the car was nowhere near as economical than his E200, which was also "a big car"

Whom reminds me of a customer, whom complained (verbally and in writing) that his Vectra radio couldn't possibly be as good as his p/x'd Cavpig. He couldn't get LBC very well, but ONLY at night.....was back when LBC was only on AM and he had changed jobs to do a night shift. He would sit in his car at 2am to catch the news...those were the days when AM would come and go at night, even worse in the summer.

....thinking back I really have had more than my fair share of IQ challanged customers, and taken more bullets for other dealers than rightfully deserved

PS screamers, they usually come in threes, so best be prepared!

Oh don’t worry I’m prepared!

 

i’ve turned the phone off. I ain’t silly. 

[BHM 994]

Politely sack him off, fuel consumption is his problem. If he starts whining then sack him off impolitely.

As for Jocks whinging unfortunately it’s become a national pastime for them. I think they see sniping at anyone south of the border as a sport, I guess it’s the Nicola Sturgeon Effect. They used to be great but something has definitely changed in their attitude based on my experiences with them I’d reconstruct Hadrian’s Wall - out of the last five, 1 was great, 2 were arseholes who bought but I’d never want to see again & the other 2 I sent packing within a few minutes of them arriving.

Funnily enough my worst ever customer was a Jock taxi driver from Edinburgh who bought a petrol Octavia estate - the most horrible greedy b****d I’ve ever met who expected the earth & was a cheeky twat. I only persevered with him cos I’d had the car for 6 months, although I did walk away at one point cos I nearly smacked him, his Mrs sort of apologised & said “he’s always like this”. F***ing horrible greedy c*** that still boils my piss whenever I think about him.

[Trident 24]

Fuel consumption is not a fault... its a lifestyle

[Stalker 180]

1 hour ago, BHM said:

Politely sack him off, fuel consumption is his problem. If he starts whining then sack him off impolitely.

As for Jocks whinging unfortunately it’s become a national pastime for them. I think they see sniping at anyone south of the border as a sport, I guess it’s the Nicola Sturgeon Effect. They used to be great but something has definitely changed in their attitude based on my experiences with them I’d reconstruct Hadrian’s Wall - out of the last five, 1 was great, 2 were arseholes who bought but I’d never want to see again & the other 2 I sent packing within a few minutes of them arriving.

Funnily enough my worst ever customer was a Jock taxi driver from Edinburgh who bought a petrol Octavia estate - the most horrible greedy b****d I’ve ever met who expected the earth & was a cheeky twat. I only persevered with him cos I’d had the car for 6 months, although I did walk away at one point cos I nearly smacked him, his Mrs sort of apologised & said “he’s always like this”. F***ing horrible greedy c*** that still boils my piss whenever I think about him.

Say it how it is BHM

 

Hes probably perfectly happy with the car, however they do like a good whinge north of the border... don't take it to heart.

[EPV 631]

13 minutes ago, Stalker said:

Say it how it is BHM

 

Hes probably perfectly happy with the car, however they do like a good whinge north of the border... don't take it to heart.

Thanks mate, having reflected overnight and taken all your good advice on board I will as BHM says, tell him politely to fuck off with an explanation of how so many factors affect fuel consumption and if he still bleats on, I will tell him impolitely to fuck off. 

[It's me 613]

to be fair if he is a jock then all becomes clear

their beers muck

cost me £5 a pint when i was up there in december

everything was covered in snow or mush

its always been their pastime to moan and if they arent moaning they are moaning that they havent got anything to moan about

build that wall with cranky and her mates behind it

[EPV 631]

8 minutes ago, tradex said:

The foods good, though, whom could resist Haggis chips 'n curry sauce, Edinburgh's finest Friday night cuisine.

I've always found Scots really nice guys to do business with, speak as you find.

...been a while though

He was/is a genuinely pleasant bloke to deal with, i’ve worked with a couple of jocks in a past life and never had a bad word to say about any of them. Paddies, welsh etc all the same. Australians though, well that’s another story. 

Anyway, he was definitely of the stereotype and tight as a ducks arse so it is probably buyers remorse kicking in.  

[Stalker 180]

And dont forget, he will probably also be complaining to VW and the petrol station that he buys his fuel from and also the local council for having un-fuel-efficient road surfaces.....

 

The list goes on.

 

 

[metcars 395]

2 hours ago, s and b said:

to be fair if he is a jock then all becomes clear

their beers muck

cost me £5 a pint when i was up there in december

everything was covered in snow or mush

its always been their pastime to moan and if they arent moaning they are moaning that they havent got anything to moan about

build that wall with cranky and her mates behind it

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/8965006/The-Krankies-We-used-to-be-swingers.html

[Arfur Dealy 823]

No way..... are you seriously telling me Jimmy Krankie has had a sex change...

[rich89 11]

I remember my first screamer. Was still living at my parents house. 

Awkward!

[EPV 631]

46 minutes ago, rich89 said:

I remember my first screamer. Was still living at my parents house. 

Awkward!

Show off 

[David Ayers 171]

1 hour ago, rich89 said:

I remember my first screamer. Was still living at my parents house. 

Awkward!

Show off 

 

Not really. He was 42!!