BHM

I’ll have to try buying a few written-off Porsches & Audis and see if the clients are happy to pay almost full money.

Manheim’s Surecheck division would be interesting to know.

Don’t waste any more £££ on it, my I guess is it’s also due a timing belt & pump (Vectras are 100K with the same engine). Looking at the state of it do you honestly think it’s been looked after!?!! Missing towing eye cover & all!! I sell some shit but there’s no way I’d stand on that knacker. SorR on fleabay is still my honest opinion.

Good here, been plodding on nicely for about 5 weeks now. No records being broken, but no complaints (for a change ).

You’ve offered a repair & she’s refused you access to the car!?!!! Why on earth are you f***ing about dancing to her tune? She’s on her own. END OF.

+1. Tbh if for some reason I had to make the decision between serving the small car market & serving the £500 shitter market I’d take my chances with the shitter customers cos they’re easier to deal with AND more realistic. See above. Plenty of traders make a living out of the small car market but not me. I don’t think I’ve ever drawn proper money out a small car (I’m internet based, appointment only), the punters are pathologically unrealistic (that’s code for fussy as f***) and never have money - they’re maxed-out on insurance costs and expect me to discount to subsidise their lifestyle. Give me a big Estate or 4X4 any day of the week - 4 figure profits, well maintained, rarely any outstanding jobs, usually fly through an MOT - does that sound like a 6 owner Corsa/Fiesta/Clio to you? Unfortunately I have two smalls in stock at the moment, sat gathering dust, I’m about to cut the arse off the price & blow them away. I’ll be working for about £200 each assuming I manage to sell them at their new prices. Next to them will be one of Sweden’s finest with £1500 wiped across it & a couple of miley Jap 4x4s with £1-1200 across their bonnets. The buyers of these will NOT be f***ing about whinging about money, road tax and insurance - they’ll be on the phone, ask a couple of questions, then come and cross my palm with silver. PROPER CARS ATTRACT PROPER PUNTERS. F*** THE SMALL CAR MARKET, YOU’RE ALL WELCOME TO IT!

Yep, there are plenty of punters for a heap of shit and if your advert is savage you won’t deal with any tossers. You'd be surprised what some people think is acceptable, struggling to find a gear is of little consequence to a small minority. The last car I offered was a diesel Citroen with a few lights on the dashboard & the brakes were in tatters. The buyer was chuffed to bits as he drove, sorry I mean trailered, away from my premises with his SorR invoice in his hand. He even phoned me two hours later to thank me for it!!! My SorR adverts are that brutal even the w*****s rarely phone me, just the men with pound notes in their pocket. Go for it Arfur, and don’t bother with a video, a handful of photos is enough.

Many years ago I had a fully optioned Jag XJ in Black, top power diesel, advertised on behalf of a friend and eventually I had it down to £26K - identical cars (with more miles) at the main dealers were £30K. I could of sold it 10 times over if I did finance, but I didn’t so it sat there for 9 months & eventually went back whence it came. I would not want any lumpy stuff like this as a doorstepper with no finance options in place.

In my experience it depends on the type of car. Estates, vans & 4x4s no bother finding cash buyers. Standard family hardware I personally wouldn’t bother with at that money unless you have a pitch & as for small/first-timer cars don’t f***ing bother! After saying all of that I’m sure others will disagree.

Either crush it or if it’s got plenty of ticket sling the c*** on ebay for £400 (with no mention of MOT - everyone checks online nowadays). Personally I wouldn’t bother opening the bonnet except to photo it for advertisement. Spares or repair, drives ok, reverse sometimes stiff to engage. No warranty given or implied. No emails, no texts, phone calls only, buyer will sign to say they’ve been instructed to trailer away from premises.

You scallywag! Perhaps he can also rely upon Phil Nothard for support & advice. Hahaha, it’s always easy doling out advice from the sidelines. It’s just like when a punter comes waving Parker’s Guide quoting prices, “In that case phone Parker’s & ask them for one!”. Don’t hold your f***ing breath! Finally; Why not go to the horses mouth? Contact the auction house, tell them you’re taking them to court & see whether or not they close your account & then let us know how you get on.

+1. Also aren’t gradings on the cosmetics? If so you’ll soon catch a cold paying top money for a car with a knackered clutch, bald tyres & shagged brakes.

I do it as my attitude is it shows stock is moving so ‘suggests’ to punters to get a move on & buy before I sell out (If only! ). It also keeps a few extra adverts ‘live’ as I like to have 16-20 adverts ‘live’, making me look like a proper trader rather than the half-wit I really am. As a one man band if I have a few cars awaiting jobs plus get a sudden rush of customers then I can find I’ve only got single figures of cars which (in my opinion) makes me look more doorstep trader than some of those Gumtree chancers at the block. Plus, as someone wrote, it’s nice if you’ve shown a car to a punter, you sell it, then they see it. Occasionally it motivates them to buy something else. This happened yesterday, however all it made the tosser do was offer me £1300 for an alternative £1800 car

Poacher/gamekeeper spring’s to mind.

I don’t have an a/c with BCA but the way I see it is it’s a case of Them & Us. I have never received any genuine help above standard service from an auction company, we are simply to be milked dry & looked upon with utter disdain. These insurance policies that are forced upon us are administered appallingly, at every auction there’s another trader complaining about pisspoor service & having an uphill battle. I’m told Manheim’s Surecheck personnel don’t even answer calls nowadays. Apparently you have to download an app, complete the claim form & you’ll be contacted at their leisure - no doubt once they’ve done their homework & worked out the reason for rejecting your claim.

TO F***ING TRUE!!!! Anyone buying old shite is running the gauntlet buying blind. Absolutely no chance whatsoever here.

Yes, just remember a camera has never stopped a crime, merely recorded it.

Don’t worry, we’ve had some of Borat’s rantings in the past.

Welcome Pete, I sell in roughly the same price range as your goodself. It is quiet, even half of the arseholes have gone quiet, but I’m ticking over. I don’t know your area but here’s my jaundiced opinion of the four cars you’ve mentioned. Merc - must be reasonably well historied and CHEAP. That’s the most important thing for an old Merc buyer. Freelander - you say it’s priced right so that should look after itself. Mazda 3 - I wouldn’t want the f***ing thing, bad sellers, you’d be better off buying three old 2007 Focuses. This is a pitch car, not a doorstep car. 2004 Picasso - absolute peasant motoring, only fit for the Gumtree market. If it was MOTed I’d sell it spares/repair for £299, if not I’d crush it.

Trade Vet, I’d of pressed the ‘like’ button if I had one

Absolutely correct I say NO, if I said anything else I’d be misleading customers. Legally you should say “No, but your statutory rights are not affected”. As for your second question I’m not sure you understand the meaning of the word ‘No’. No means no, it’s as simple as that. By your questions I’ll hazard a guess & say you feel uncomfortable telling punters straight. Don’t be, it’s far better getting everything covered before you sell a car, rather than chewing on with a disgruntled customer afterwards. Very rarely do punters ask about warranties, and the few a year who do ask seem to only ask out of interest. It’s not stopped me selling cars.

You want to offer a “better service” but I think you’re trying to emulate pitch practices as an Internet seller - many have tried it but here’s my take on how an internet business should operate in these harsh economic times. 1) Warranties. Don’t bother, you’re selling 10 year old cars from the door, those punters are price driven. You’re just asking for comebacks (warranties confuse banger customers into thinking everything is covered) and I soon learned that punters will take a warranty if it’s free but rarely value them enough to pay for them! 2) See andymc1973’s answer. Believe me, you do not want, or need, to take CCs. Those punters who cannot raise the funds for an old car are punters who turn into screamers because they have no money for maintenance. Do not worry about servicing the penniless, the right cars at the right prices sell. 3) Financing old cars. No f***ing chance whatsoever - are you wanting comebacks?

BEST; Deciding to give it a go in this industry. After 20+ years as a wage slave (albeit reasonably well paid in a different industry) I do not miss the rat race whatsoever. WORST; Deciding to give it a go in this industry. I had no idea just how stupid, deceitful, obnoxious, rude, greedy, arrogant, ignorant, ill-informed & self-important a fair percentage of the general public are.

Funnily enough the main MOT garage I use has finally cottoned on to the fact they’ll be better off being selective about work rather than doing ‘everything’ and agreeing to all MOT repairs. They’ve had a string of bother with punters’ pieces of shit after repairing one thing & then something else going wrong. Punters start screaming & half of them haven’t a pot to piss in. That’s not to also mention those cars with a plethora of parts options so a £60 job ends up taking up a day’s worth of ramp space. Trade money won’t pay so well but it should be zero comeback, understanding of the potential problems working on older cars and often is in cash.

Recently at the block I walked around the acres of scrap & asked a colleague “Who the f*** is going to buy this shit?” I saw the trade pay a few hundred quid for such gems as a 16 year old Micra with rotten sills (no doubt the rest of it was rotten too), an ancient Clio and there was even interest in an 18 year old Megane-Scenic. I could go on & on & on. What on earth is the trade doing buying pure scrap like this?