BHM

Or had a newbie searching for free information thinking they’ll get rich quick in this game.

Am I the only one who misses logging on to find 50 posts with 50 different university names?

eBay. Berlingoes/Partners disintegrate for fun & very good replacements are usually £20-25 - it’s easier changing a steering wheel than twatting about trying to tightly sew a leather snake with a needle & thread.

Thanks but the speedo’s ok thankfully. ‘My’ Vauxhall man reckons a front wheel bearing has lost its magnetism (or some such shit) - we shall see.

Funnily enough just had this on a Zafira yesterday - I was scratching my head trying to work out why we couldn’t get sound from the radio then I happened to open a rear door and hey presto, music. Despite their reputation I get very little problems with Zafiras - anything is usually to do with lack of maintenance however today I’ll try to get to the bottom of the ABS/no Canbus communication problem this particular car also has

The quality of German wiring is pisspoor. Anyone who’s ever seen the state of some of the wiring in 12 year old cars - some of it’s in absolute tatters - the only wiring problems I’ve ever seen are Zafira rear doors and the rest all have a Mercedes or BMW badge on the bonnet

Too bloody true! There’s none of that here & I rarely get any comebacks. Again you’re correct and this is absolutely fine by me. I’m in the business of selling cars, NOT coaching the general public in consumer rights & the exercising of them at my expense. You should see a customer’s face when you educate them to this fact. Choke! you’d think you’d asked for nude photos of their daughter!

Yep, apart from the roadside bit we’re about identical. Tbh it’s getting to the stage where run of the mill stuff isn’t worth buying unless it’s for peanuts & even then punters seem disinterested - Focuses, C-Maxes & the like are dead for me. Thank God for the MOT test & accidents, at the moment the only punters I’m seeing are those whose cars have been condemned or written-off.

I’ve attended a few different auctions recently and they all seem to be chocker block full of cars but prices are strong. Dealer Auction is getting ridiculous (I rejected a diesel Zafira due to the gearbox being knackered - the vendor declared it yet it made more money than I’d bought it at!) but the main problem are the recon costs. I’m plowing hundreds into just about every car I buy.

Hasn’t everything at the moment unless it’s slightly oddball or f***ing cheap? It seems dead out there at the moment - even most of the emailer arseholes can’t be bothered at the moment.

I sell quite a few older 4x4s so if I was concerned about oil leaks I’d go out of business! A 13 year old car with leaks, they should be grateful, it’ll stop the underside from corroding.

Very very odd. It doesn’t sound right, especially the part about refusing a re-entry. I’m assuming her reserve isn’t £1K above book.

Sundays & bank holidays - no f***ing chance whatsoever here. My sanity is stretched enough as it is, I think I’d end up on an assault charge dealing with punters using me as entertainment to fill in their spare time. A couple of phone calls fielded - all REALLY keen but I’ll see just how keen tomorrow (I suspect I know the answer). As I sat down in sunny Scarborough just about to order the family dinner, 5.30 the phone (on divert) rings. I cut them off - what sort of a c*** phones about cars at teatime on a bank holiday Monday!?!! (I wager the sort of c*** with nowt to do except make small talk, big promises of a sale tomorrow but as we all know tomorrow never comes for these tossers).

The first one was as funny as cancer. I switched off the yank after 1 minute & 50 seconds. Just another boring c**t that the internet has empowered.

This pence per mile discussion keeps quoting ever higher rates - we’ve gone from 25p, soon up to 40p & now 50p. Do we all REALLY think such rates are applicable to a £500 heap? I don’t, IF a mileage rate applies surely it has to be representative of the vehicle, or perhaps a flat rate of £25 per week. I prefer the straight route rather than playing the smart-arse. My way would be a phone call telling him it’s his car, he’s not getting anything so “do your best, son!”. If it escalates I’d have to think about it but putting the customer straight on an old banger will put 99.9% of cases to bed. God knows how some of you get such hassles. One of my sales this week was a £600 p/x cheapie Peugeot (nice car actually!). The man was told face to face “it seems fine, take it out, see what you think but do not expect any sort of warranty, it’s pushbike money”. My customer says he understood that. However if you’ve a customer who, at this point, starts umming & ahhhhing then your viewing MUST be terminated IMMEDIATELY. You then take their money & do not confuse the banger customer with a receipt - handing over a receipt to a man buying a banger makes them think they’ve got some sort of comeback. Nothing is absolutely foolproof but I’ve only ever had one man back on a banger. A £300 Mazda that was back within 4 or 5 minutes “cos my ex-wife doesn’t like it” He’d viewed it earlier, I didn’t realise it wasn’t for him - he came with his ex direct from the Vauxhall dealership after handing back her 7 month old car due to not being able to afford the payments! (You couldn’t make this shit up). I was trapped in the middle of a marriage break-up - I felt like an extra in Kramer v. Kramer.

About £700 too much.

Mistakes! Don’t worry, about 50% of my purchases are a mistake.

Sorry I was referring to giving the mileages a haircut.

Tbh I agree. If it’s not problems with the German cars it’s the difficult ‘aspirational’ punters. I’m critical of some of France’s finest but at least half of the punters are pleasant people and if you stick to certain models they won’t have sleepless nights. I’ve had a few old Peugeots lately & although there’s no big wages they don’t hang about.

Never has, never will. Unless you specialise in Minis they’re a hard sell unless they’re CHEAP. Absolute dickhead ‘Champagne taste, lemonade money’ big-talking punters, fussy as fuck, always want more for less - give me a shitty old Shogun any day of the week!

Errr...have you guys forgotten about the MOT history database?

+1, this summarises precisely how things are today. It’s funny though that the same people who abuse these cars are the same people who are as fussy as fuck when buying & able to point out every mark & scratch.

Sounds like a cheeky twat wanting you offer him a full refund. I bet the old car’s running fine. Tbh I wouldn’t be wasting much of my time over a £500 banger - phone him up & tell him to f.o.

I’ve no idea about the road tax but I strongly suspect it’ll roll on until the annual renewal date. As for the lack of MOT it’ll depend upon her insurance policy but I believe on some it’s certainly a case of No MOT = not covered. I wouldn’t worry about here to be honest, if she herself can’t be arsed why should you be? Unfortunately she’s only one amongst hundreds of thousands who are prepared to drive an unroadworthy to save a few quid - I bet she won’t have the same attitude when buying!

I think everyone has gone off on a tangent, surely sale or return vehicles would be exactly that - if he sells them he buys them in as his stock and if he doesn't he returns them whence they came. Any customers wouldn't know the difference as they would be purchasing from AutoJacob. However if he's planning on filling up with these sale/return cars and selling them clearly advertised as "other people's cars" I can't see him having much luck. Also, as these sale/return cars will be from another trader, if AutoJacob made a sale this way then the retail customer would be able to exercise his consumer rights with said trader which I suspect said trader wouldn't be prepared to honour. The only sensible way I see this working is by agreeing a purchase price with the other trader, selling what you can as a normal retail sale, putting these sales through your books in the correct fashion and returning what you don't sell. 9 times out of 10 shite. Most of the time you're buying someone else's turds unless they're a higher-end trader moving on run of the mill stock.