BHM

That’s very definitely a question for your solicitor. I assume it’s a covenant you’re referring to, if so you’re very probably knackered or you’ll have to buy out the covenant (if the covenant holder is open to offers). If you’re a home trader I’d say it’s very possible the property isn’t for you or go & get yourself a job.

I wish I could charge southern rates If I had that up at that £895 I wouldn’t even get messers phoning, the phone would be dead - that’s newer shape money up here. You’re another on a different charging scale to me, I think I’ll have to move south.

Perfectly normal on a Merc.

How much!?!!! I don’t know whereabouts in the country you are but those heaps of shit are more like £395 up north. I don’t mind the sub grand market - there are no more messers on a £600 turd than there are on £1500/£4000/8000 cars. Tbh I’d rather deal with a cheap car punter than a VW prick on a £2000 Golf.

Dunno if these count but here goes anyway; EFG valve. A random selection of three letters, in context I realised the punter meant EGR. DEM, or was it DCR, or was it.....? You get the picture. It was a punter referring to a DPF. At least the ‘D’ was correct. “The Saab dealer rejigged my exhaust”. It turned out he’d had a forced regen on his DPF. Tbh I was more interested in finding this Saab dealership considering Saab went tits up years ago. And the foreign punter who mistook the word Gold for Yellow. It must of got lost in translation, the poor sod did a 600 mile round trip to get an education in the English for ‘gold’, rather than the ‘yellow’ one I’d sold the week before.

Do you swallow?

Plodding on at a few per week, I’d rather chase £s than units sold. My problem is selling a few sticky ones and replacing stock, but that’s an age old problem. I will say though that email & phone enquiries have certainly picked-up but unfortunately this week they are virtually all of the unwelcome variety - absolute tossers, the penniless, the greedy and, of course, the unrealistically fussy.

Sorry MGM, but after years of dealing with the general public & many of their pathologically greedy cost saving measures I’ve got to disagree. Imagine some infirm 70-odd year old’s ‘classic’ that’s never had a proper look over in years OR those “It’s parked in a garage so it must be ok” owners, not realising their damp & unventilated garage is causing as much corrosion as being parked in a wet field of long grass. This is one of the worst pieces of legislation that originated from Brussels - I hope come Brexit (if it ever properly happens) this legislation will be reversed. Many, many people are happy simply because it saves them a few quid on the MOT per year. Until something major happens that is!

The best advice here. And if you repeatedly screw up & can’t trust your gut, get out of this game.

It must be me. Whenever I’ve had cause to contact the DVLA I’ve immediately got through to the correct person, they’ve handled my query or problem efficiently & resolved it to my satisfaction.

3 or 4 years ago I got a Peugeot 206 rear quarter filled up with a bucket of filler & the whole car painted pink for £300. I kid you not, although I have to confess it was far from the best job & the weed smoking imbecile is no longer in business. I suspect this isn’t much help to you.......

I thought the same - perhaps French Run Of The Mill Cars might be more appropriate Anyhow on a serious note I’m no expert as both of those cars wouldn’t appear on my radar, but aren’t they pitch cars? My other comment is one I’m definitely on firmer ground & that’s about the Clio - Who the f*** wants a Clio Estate? Estates are bought by people who want a little extra space, I cannot fathom who or why anyone would buy one. My guess is cut the balls off the Clio’s price & hope a man with a little spaniel wants it.

eBay (if you don’t know someone with a Ford code database) - I guess it’ll be 50p or £1. I’ve used these sellers plenty of times for other makes of car.

I couldnt raffle the bloody Lincoln - it was about the time the market collapsed for this sort of old shite with talk of police forces inspecting this sort of cheap chav tat on a Friday night. I went halves with a fellow trader at the block - he had a workshop & it made sense at the time. I think it was about £3K??? Anyhow, those limos are so floppy that I parked with one wheel on a high kerb & the other on the road which resulted in me cracking a side window! Good ole American engineering. Thankfully the window tinting was so dark I didn’t let it concern me too much, or for that matter, mention it in the eBay auction listings (those were the days!) Anyhow I ended up ebaying it on about 6 auctions, got messed by American Asians 4 times, 2 local idiots then our Italian friend made an offer during a 7th auction which I couldn’t refuse. Sadly I must confess to loving how the old turd drove! A big comfy giant motorised sofa BUT even at a 50mph cruise it was getting 6 to 7 mpg, 3 to 4 around town and on acceleration the computer was at .4 (that’s 0.4) mpg. I thought the quality American fuel computer must of been knackered but no, I blew through 5 gallons of juice in under 25 miles. After that it got parked up.

We’ll have to agree to disagree. Paying more money than you bid and the auctioneer submitting bids isn’t a favour - it’s the auction houses’ job to submit bids & they also charge for this ‘service’. I’ll happily say I’m wrong when I get 5 examples of auction houses doing real favours, not simple doing their jobs. As I’m sure you can tell, I have little time for auctioneers & their bullshit. I’ve yet to meet one who plays with a straight bat.

Sytner? You must like an expensive car - half of it makes retail money & since head office has instructed dealerships to under-declare I’m about to call it a day - the descriptions overnight are diabolical.

Being an internet seller I get punters from all over the UK. The Irish used to be regular buyers but that dried up about 5 years ago. I’ve sold cars to many countries, Kenya probably the furthest. I had a Foreign Office employee come from Lagos to check over a Passat estate but not sure that counts as he was a Brit so back here sorting out his affairs. The Passat went via Pickfords. The two furthest physical collections & driven away must be Italians for a 15 year old white Lincoln town car limo (4 of them, all collecting a limo each on their way down from Scotland - driving to Italy at about 6 m.p.g. each car, they must of been bankrupt by the time they got there) and a fella from Cyprus for a diesel Yaris who planned on taking a leisurely fortnight’s drive through Europe.

Sorry but my idea of a favour doesn’t involve me bidding myself up. I suspect there are very few dealers who can identify TRUE favours given by auction houses.

The auction halls are littered with loads of Fiat 500s. I see early Disco 3 trade valuations seem to have dropped recently - 10 year old ones look cheap to my eyes. All this talk of losses is worrying - I’ve only had one so far this year & that was only about £80. I’ve not had a proper blow for a good while so I’m probably due a biggie. You know you’re a real trader when you get a four figure loss walloped up you!

I’ve never had a favour from an auction house.

If he seems lonely leave him to it, have the crack with him & next time ask him why he does what he does. If he just seems like a tosser I’d f*** him off for good. Either way I wouldn’t permit a test drive - there’s no point risking stock for a no sale.

A sizeable number of people don’t have confidence with parking sensors & a number of others are just confused by them! I’ve never had an issue with a punter over defective sensors, although my stock is rarely about £4000.

I’d cut the wire to the buzzer.

+1.

Agreed. I don’t conduct business by text. I answer two emails from a punter, if I receive a third I ask them to phone me at their convenience. Dreamers tossing it off pretending they intend to buy can waste someone else’s time. Ahhhh! A good old fashioned phone call. Ok, so there are plenty of pillocks but this is where the genuine business comes via.