BHM

Suzuki Altos.

Just like the Subaru Diesel engine - every other one seems to be advertised/auctioned with engine issues. I’ve never had one and, I guess, never will.

I’ve just renewed & wasn’t told that - add all vehicles as normal. Tbh with the phone app it’s the work of a moment so I’m happy to continue as is.

Hahaha, I already have a name for them: Timewasting c***s. I must confess by the time I’d read the first third I thought “Why the f*** is he putting up with such a pillock?” Some of you lads must have the patience of a saint - I tell them straight & chase off these Champagne taste, lemonade money idiots. Here are a few phrases “It’s not a new car” “The XXXX main dealer is located at X, you’ll find brand new cars there but at brand new prices” ”This car costs £xxxx, brand new today this is £xxxxx, so it’s xx% of a new car” AND THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE; ”You need to increase your budget or lower your expectations”

Is that why you call yourself chief nut job?

If that’s your attitude why didn’t you just ask the man himself for an explanation?

Yep, cos most of these tosspots are the “Nearly men”. “I nearly bought this”, “I nearly bought that”. The go through their whole f***ing lives nearly doing this, nearly did that. Bellends.

It won’t make a blind bit of difference - Volvo men buying this age of Volvo are a different breed to the average German car buying arseholes. The only problem I’ve had is with cloth seats - and if it’s an early Torslanda with cloth seats and wheeltrims/tiny alloys God help you!

Alleged brake problems = don’t f*** about. There endeth the sermon.

I don’t buy Rav4s often cos everyone looks like a coastal car to me

Lack of access through a door is an MOT failure so I’ve no idea why on earth you’re getting bumpers painted, a service & new pads on a car that should be advertised as Spares or Repair, trailered away. Or of course, fix the issue. On a serious note you’re doing too much prep., safety related to a car MUST be done, personally just about everything nowadays is freshly MOT’d & I applaude you doing a few MOT advisories. It’s probably not a case of you missing profit, more of missing sales as with a little less cosmetic prep. you could price cheaper - you’re an internet seller and, like it or not, 90% view/buy on price. What you loose on selling prices you should be gaining on lack of overheads. Finally are you sure video appraisals are really the way to go? All they do is make half of the cars look like scruffy pigs & show to customers cosmetic flaws that otherwise 95% of them wouldn’t notice. Not for me at all & certainly not on 8-12 year old shite.

As a purveyor of many a CRV I’m wondering what problems do Hondas have? Funnily enough I’m getting an alternator reconditioned tomorrow but that’s the first I’ve ever needed in all of my years and apart from weak clutch springs on miley diesel Accords I find the Honda models I sell just about perfect with regards to unwanted surprises. As for Toyotas, I certainly agree there. Ever looked underneath a 10 year Rav 4 or Aygo? You’d think they’d been driven over the sea bed rather than shipped over! Absolute horrible rotboxes - the undersides can look horrendous. The shitty diesel injectors on that 2.2 diesel aren’t great and the T180 likes a headgasket.

Hats off you you, you’ve done very well to get some answers. To be honest from my own selfish point of view I’d like something in black & white stating exactly what should be written in selling a spares or repair vehicle to Joe Public. I’m not on about shafting someone over, I’m on about making it absolutely clear & all above board to the buyer that there are no returns. At the moment whenever I have one to sell my adverts CLEARLY state no warranty, no returns, sold as seen for rectification, buyer instructed to trailer away. The invoices also have ALL of these ‘points’ written on it with “I have been instructed to trailer away” in the signature box for Joe Public to sign underneath it. Obviously what Joe Public do with THEIR car after they’ve paid me is legally beyond my control because I believe withholding of someone else’s property is called ‘theft’.

+1. If there’s anyone on here who thinks that a premium car at the block won’t have problems then they should visit the Jobcentre tomorrow. +1. Bleedin’ bloody obvious, I’d say! Apart from a few lazy sods, who on earth would bomb out their motor to these parasites who rape them on the valuation. £2395 for a 10 year old PETROL ASTRA with a service history of err...6 stamps!?!! Surely that’s a misprint.

Yes, pure shit but funnily enough 207s are far more palatable. Until recently I avoided £500+ tax bracket cars but I’ve had a few recently and it hasn’t made a blind bit of difference - I think nowadays punters wanting a certain car have got their head around it as their only other option is get something they don’t want. Mind you I wouldn’t suggest buying 2.4 PT Cruiser Autos or an old Kia Sedona - I don’t think those buyers would stump up big tax money.

Thermostat housing. Oil leaks (various). Gearboxes. And then when the car’s right you have to deal with the punters...........

God knows about the German stuff but age wise that’s my market and there’s plenty of shit to sift through to get to the half-decent stock at its current, strong prices. I’m definitely paying more for some cars than I used to, the knack has been to concentrate on the cars that sell but I guess that’s always been the case. There are plenty of arseholes courtesy of the email system but overall business is certainly doing fine at the moment - not particularly on units, more on profit per unit.

Troy, I imagine specialising in the repair of German Wonder Wagons is a good business to be in because they’re far from reliable when older. However from a selling point of view the horrible “Champagne taste, lemonade money” punters are c***s. However as a retailer at least when they do go wrong you’ll save on labour costs. Your biggest problem if selling the top end stuff will be dealing with dreamers - you’ll soon get a few lessons in the mentality of the general public & learn to sort the wheat from the chaff. I sell most cars through eBay (motorspro). Gumtree & Facebook isn’t my cup of tea but is ideal if you want to attract penniless scum & like exchanging messages with idiots - I’m too old to entertain cretins but I’ve seen the standard of communication shown to me at the block by plastic traders. I guess Autotrader would do your operation proud (I don’t use it personally) BUT I’m fairly confident anyone looking for cars on AT does so also on eBay & vice versa.

I’ve had a few new shape Freelanders (2007 onwards - that means new shape to me) & never had any bother. Are they better than their more expensive brethren or have I just been lucky?

We’re all still waiting for that disrespectful **** to follow up on some of his previous posts - I’m sure he wrote some bollocks about ‘feeding it back to the right people’ about someone’s concerns. Probably too busy doing important market analysis. PS the market’s down cos half of the country is f***ing skint. Fee payable to BHM.

Bad seller too nowadays.

I wonder when Alan will do you the courtesy of a reply thanking you for your advice.

Twatful sight, the only time for a top down is on a night on the back roads. The sight of someone loving themselves with Ray Bans at the traffic lights is pitiful - also have you ever tried it? I’m never normally self-conscious but sat in a town centre, roof down, makes me want to curl up & die. I sell a few cheap Frenchies and let the punter go out on their own if they want the roof down.

I’m just renewing at the moment & it’s under £700 although I’m on peasant specification TPF&T but demo cover, trade plates and an unlimited amount of cars (surely there must be some sort of limit???) - no Ferraris, Teslas or Mitsubishi rally cars but that doesn’t bother my business model. Tbh I believe trade insurers only pay trade money anyway so if I smashed up one of my shitters it’s barely worth filling out the forms. Even my £4K 4x4s are only about £2.5K trade so I can’t really see the point in paying an extra grand to claim in the event of a lone accident & then screw up my 20+ years no claims. I’ve no idea what these trade insurers are like to deal with though in the event of a claim. Fingers crossed it doesn’t happen but if I smash into some poor unsuspecting victim it’ll be them dealing with insurers, not me.

There may be tossers in every business but I’m convinced cars bring out the bad in many people. Mobile technology has gone too far for me, I’ll answer a sensible email, answer a phone call but as for texting, chat interfaces etc. there’s no chance here! Any additional means of contact seems only to play to the whims of the time wasters - as always the vest majority of business comes via Alexander Graham Bell’s device. It’s quiet, or seems it because the cretins are currently vastly outnumbering the genuine. Thankfully I’m plodding on fine doing a few a week, but weeding out the delusioned & reading some of the pitiful (both in form & content) emails is irksome. Those punters who have passed my phone ‘screening’ have either been f***ing idiots who I’ve fast tracked along the viewing process or nice & sensible. No middle ground, either idiots or nice & easy (the best are those who’ve been softened up looking at shite elsewhere). Hard times ahead, prices are up for us traders but for months now I repeatedly hear the same thing from punters - the standard of mechanical preparation & presentation of cars is commonly pisspoor.