Punters - what planet are they from??

[BHM 994]

TALES FROM THE BOTTOM END OF THE MARKET (may the Lord give me strength!)

 

PUNTER1: Hi, I phoned yesterday about the Polo.

ME: Sorry, it's sold.

PUNTER1: It was yesterday, you might remember me. You said it was still for sale.

ME: Yes that was yesterday. Today it's now sold.

PUNTER1: But you said yesterday it's still for sale.

ME: Yes, that was yesterday. Now it's today & it's been sold.

PUNTER1: But you said it was still available.

ME: Goodbye, Sir. Thanks for your call. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PUNTER2 (in person): The car's a 3 door!!!

ME: Yes it is, it's the one you & your husband phoned me about 3 times yesterday.

PUNTER2: But..but..they're shite to get into the back of. I didn't know it was a 3 door.

ME: Yes they are shite to get into. Just leave it cos it's cheap & it'll sell soon enough.

unfortunately she squeezes her ample frame into the drivers seat for a test drive, so I chuck her the keys & tell her to get on with it. On her return.........

PUNTER2: You'll be reducing the price cos it's a 3 door & full of scratches.

ME: No I won't, a 2007 Peugeot 207 HDI at a grand will sell soon enough.

PUNTER2: Why not??? You have to!!!!!!!

ME: No I don't, just leave it if your family can't squeeze into the rear seat. Go to Halfords, there are push bikes on the shelf costing more than this.

PUNTER2: It's too much, it's one of the most expensive. I can get a cheaper one anywhere.

ME: Really? A 2007 207 HDi at £1000 with a new MOT yesterday & it's too expensive? I'm not sure what planet you're from but you'd might as well just go & buy one of these cheaper ones. I can't find one on the internet so you must have a better search engine than I have. 

I then turn to the (thicko) husband & tell him what I think. The poor spineless wretch grabs his wife's hand "Come on, lets go!" and scurries off. 

Car sold 2 hours later (thank the Lord!)

[Arfur Dealy 823]

and these people are actually allowed to drive????

[SC Derby 259]

We've got two £400ers going on over night and I am already stressed about the barrage of calls tomorrow.

 

[andymc1973 199]

but thanks to the gimps at autotrader these people can now leave reviews

[BHM 994]

Not with me they can't cos I'm not on it.

25 minutes ago, SC Derby said:

We've got two £400ers going on over night and I am already stressed about the barrage of calls tomorrow.

 

Put them on on Sunday night for the early week trade otherwise you'll get the Sunday arseholes.

[Rory RSC 596]

Put a 56 1.6 petrol Touran on Autotrader 130k 500- rough looking thing 2 weeks mot and I just gave a brutal advert. runs and drives but its very battered.

 

8pm last night - 10pm last night the calls were coming in. Best price mate?

Its a bit above my budget mate

Does it need any work mate?

Will you take a px mate?

 

African trader bloke rang this morning, came down half an hour later took 2 minutes to look at it and snapped it up- could not wait to remove it from AT.

 

 

[SC Derby 259]

That's the thing, they do go quick you just have to put up with the idiots on the phone. Last couple I've sold to Asian traders that have paid me without evening viewing and just collected within 1-2 days and no hassle at all.

[Arfur Dealy 823]

1 hour ago, SC Derby said:

We've got two £400ers going on over night and I am already stressed about the barrage of calls tomorrow.

 

I can feel your pain.....

[grant8064 219]

5 hours ago, Rory RSC said:

 

 

African trader bloke rang this morning, came down half an hour later took 2 minutes to look at it and snapped it up- could not wait to remove it from AT.

 

 

These guys are the best. Give me an Eastern Euro or African trader every day of the week for a car that exports well. So much less hassle than all the idiots that expect a new car for £300. 

We are blessed with some really sensible Polish guys around here and are my favourite people to deal with. Sensible, realistic and get to the point quickly. Usually get a deal too because they don't mess about. 

[andymc1973 199]

9 hours ago, SC Derby said:

That's the thing, they do go quick you just have to put up with the idiots on the phone. Last couple I've sold to Asian traders that have paid me without evening viewing and just collected within 1-2 days and no hassle at all.

really Asian traders?

[trade vet 704]

Andy,I agree.I was at the block and offered an Asian trader a cheap Toyota.He said he would have it,so I said its at our house just call and collect it.He calls when I am out,so my wife gives him an invoice but he would not pay her.He rings and says he can not pay my wife on religious grounds.I just tell him to forget it and that I will just enter in the block.With a little bit of help from the auctioneer,the same guy buys it at the block....it did £500 over reserve !

[Rory RSC 596]

11 minutes ago, trade vet said:

Andy,I agree.I was at the block and offered an Asian trader a cheap Toyota.He said he would have it,so I said its at our house just call and collect it.He calls when I am out,so my wife gives him an invoice but he would not pay her.He rings and says he can not pay my wife on religious grounds.I just tell him to forget it and that I will just enter in the block.With a little bit of help from the auctioneer,the same guy buys it at the block....it did £500 over reserve !

Call BS on that one

[SC Derby 259]

23 hours ago, Arfur Dealy said:

I can feel your pain.....

both sold this morning

had a call on one  at 1.30am last night, good job I was out and about.

[Tom 164]

Someone phoned at 1.30am?! 

[Arfur Dealy 823]

29 minutes ago, SC Derby said:

both sold this morning

had a call on one  at 1.30am last night, good job I was out and about.

Result

[SC Derby 259]

It's not major money I know but it pays the eBay motors account for 3 months. 

[Arfur Dealy 823]

39 minutes ago, SC Derby said:

It's not major money I know but it pays the eBay motors account for 3 months. 

[It's me 615]

polish only want to pay less than death price so its a very last option for me 

[andymc1973 199]

1 hour ago, s and b said:

polish only want to pay less than death price so its a very last option for me 

agreed

[grant8064 219]

6 hours ago, s and b said:

polish only want to pay less than death price so its a very last option for me 

I'm with tradex on this one...the Polish guys around here are very very sensible. Know what to look for, only turn up on stuff that is priced right and don't mess about.

From £200 scrappers to 12k beemers i've yet to have an issue with them. Good buyers of cars and really nice people to deal with.

We also don't discount and make it very clear before any viewing or test drive so it sorts some of the wheat

[BHM 994]

Here's the latest "issue" for one of my punters. It's some scratching to the internal driver's door handle. 

"What is this vehicle???" I hear you cry. Is it a £15000 S-class? Is it a 3 year old 7 series? Perhaps it's a 16-plate Range Rover?

 

NO!!! ITS A BLOODY 13 YEAR OLD P/X BERLINGO THAT IS OTHERWISE IN SURPRISINGLY EXCELLENT CONDITION.

[GreenGiant 287]

Had one in today - bought a nearly new sports coupe for £22k last year. In today for service and properly moaning that the cost (£210) is way overpriced and we're ripping him off. His usual establishment (grotty MOT centre) said it will be £96 and he thinks we should match it. On questioning, he says that they don't use OE parts and he provides his own oil, he doesn't want the pollen filter changed and he wants to come to us because they told him they hadn't serviced one of these before and didn't know if their equipment was up to it. And he can't see why that would justify the price difference.

Happy to spend all the money on the car, then doesn't want to pay to look after it.

Can't wait for the part exchange value discussion.

 

[umesh 336]

13 hours ago, GreenGiant said:

Had one in today - bought a nearly new sports coupe for £22k last year. In today for service and properly moaning that the cost (£210) is way overpriced and we're ripping him off. His usual establishment (grotty MOT centre) said it will be £96 and he thinks we should match it. On questioning, he says that they don't use OE parts and he provides his own oil, he doesn't want the pollen filter changed and he wants to come to us because they told him they hadn't serviced one of these before and didn't know if their equipment was up to it. And he can't see why that would justify the price difference.

Happy to spend all the money on the car, then doesn't want to pay to look after it.

Can't wait for the part exchange value discussion.

 

Always amazes me - they spend thousands of ££££ on a car and moan about £200/500 for a service , just like when we get high performance cars in the tyre shop asking us for part worns or 'cheapest' ... Had an M5 In for 4 wheel alignment a few months back - he'd just had a part worn fitted by a garage around the corner - Massive bulge on the inside wall ! #deathtrap 

[GreenGiant 287]

Welcome to 2017.

£500k mortgage, full Sky multiroom, all the latest gadgets, 3 holidays a year, Zero pension contributions, Beemer on the drive, f**k all in the fridge.

[BHM 994]

Yep, too bloody true. Occasionally I get the odd visit on one of my bangers from someone who APPEARS reasonably solvent if judged by the newness of their motor. It soon transpires their car's being returned to the finance company & they haven't got a pot to piss in. He are a few examples;

9 mth old Corsa bought a £375 Mazda 3. His Mrs. turned up looking somewhat dismayed that it's a shed. My response "yes it is, that's why it's £375"

3mth(!!) Jag F-Pace viewing a £800 Laguna (man going bankrupt). Couldn't proceed cos he wanted to pay by credit card.

3year old Audi A6 viewing a £800 Fabia. Fussy as f***, talking the big man's talk, just wants the car "as a stop-gap for 2 months". When asked about the Audi he starts coughing & spluttering. Daddy pays for the car.