CRW

Personally I would have sold him the car, invoiced with no part exchange. Then I would have requested a purchase invoice from the customer for £7k. Has the same effect in the accounts and is a tidier way to do things. Or maybe that's just a Cornish Hill Billy way to do things!

Did anybody see the Suzuki Jimny that went through Auction 4 Cars this morning? 16 plate, 18k miles. Cap Clean was £8300. Hammer fell at £11000. The retail book was only £9700. I know these things make money but that is crazy.

Just keep a few of the 99p ebay service filter kits in stock as swapping between normal hoover and wet vac clogs everything right up.

Autoglym Upholstery Shampoo and my trusty VAX always seems to work for me. Mixed up my bottles once and used Autoglym Vinyl Care and still turned out ok!

I want Casper to go ape at somebody one day, just rip them apart. Get banned for obscene language or something. Reckon its in him to do it! Do it, do it, do it!!!!

To be fair, in this instance she was right, it really was squeaking. Although she did say it was undrivable, a bit of an exaggeration. All sorted now...…..famous last words!

Cant be as bad as mine last week. Customer was texting me regarding a squeaky CRV clutch. She knows my mechanic so I text, "liase" with my mechanic regarding a suitable time for you both. Came out as "you liar" due to predictive texting. Fortunately I know her fairly well, she didn't take offence.

First lesson is no two cars are the same. Second, the £700 will sell first. Third, the £700 might, ironically, be a better car than the £1600 one. Fourth, the £700 might be a damaged repaired car. Fifth, it might not be, but the £1600 might be. Sixth, the MOT testers discretion will dictate the advisories. Confused yet? Its the nature of the trade, nothing is simple or straightforward. There's no rules to pricing. With regards to whether they are a mechanic or not, how on earth are we to know? Perhaps phone them and ask?

Yes, true, I can see what your saying. Should probably have worked that out with my years as an accountant! So you say the price of the car is the total paid including commission and then calculate your VAT on the margin between that and sales price? Can just imagine HMRC querying that! Surely with the MTD that is in play now this will be an easy mistake to make. When using your accounting software, you enter your purchase price of £5072, then previously you would have transferred the £72 to your commissions account by journal entry. Therefore, your back to the original £5000 purchase price, theres no VAT on the £72 in commissions and good old HMRC have an extra £12 out of you on the margin scheme? Or am I just overthinking it now?!

Right, so a few weeks back I received an email from A4C saying they wouldn't be showing VAT on the commission charges. I imagine quite a few of you got it as well. So is this a new accounting practise where there is no VAT on commission or is there still commission to be reclaimed? If its the first one, then they haven't dropped their commission prices and thus have just in effect increased their prices by 20%. Nice! Have just bought a £5k+ car from them and the invoice shows a £72 buyer fee and VAT as £0. I will ask them to clarify tomorrow when I collect.

I like this, but would it work or stand up in court, when the cheerful, willing to sign anything customer turns into the psychopath and takes you to court? Wouldn't they just say they have no mechanical knowledge thus putting the onus back on us? To be fair, it cant do any harm to get them to sign something regarding wear and tear. Might stop them even considering pursuing a complaint if they realise they have signed.

So after dealing with him face to face when you did some repairs he still wants to screw you over? Nice guy. Fingers crossed for you bud.

Then they try to chat to you, "yeah mate, it is what it is", trying to be cool despite the fact they are sweating their nuts off trying to rake up £250 to pay for it. I feel like saying that when it implodes going up the road or the rear end collapses with rot, it will still be "it is what it is", totally knackered! They also like to tell you they have sold loads of cars over the years as if I should be impressed. The fact they are penniless, middle aged and stinking suggests they weren't very good at it.

The other one I had a couple of weeks ago was a family friend who wanted a Fiat 500 for their daughter for between £1000 and £1500. I think some people just pick a car and pick a number and imagine it will magically happen. Unless they are a total tool, I do keep their number "in case something comes in". I then file it and tend to just forget it!

My old man had a clear out of some of my old stuff the other day. He binned 20 Rover 25 "passenger cubby holes", (which you could also fit into a Rover 200 to give extra storage space- exciting stuff), about 30 working digital clocks because the pixels used to go on them and about 10 chrome grills and headlights. Yes I admit, I had a problem, I couldnt go to a scrappy without loading up with Rover bits. Made a few quid out of them though, in the day those cubbys made £20, the clocks were £30 and a grill, easy £50. I'm over it now though.

As proper as a Kevved up Rover 75 can be! Id say £5960, reserve not met. Total guess, didn't have it on watching.

That's ringing a bell. Did you buy it? I think I may have seen the car on DA. Guess it went for something silly!

Just wondered how everybody else deals with these sort of customers? I get really bored of these people appearing in the doorway with a long list of "requirements" and literally bugger all to buy it with. I think the worst one was a few months back this old dreamer turned up, told me he wanted something really nice, had to be in excellent condition, wouldn't accept any rubbish, was prepared to pay £300. Told him the guy in the workshop with one arm has a push bike that cost £3500, go figure. I had a call today, a customer who has got up to £2000 to spend. Told them I had nothing. They asked me to find them something, to which I said no, its not worth the hassle. To me a £2000 retail car will probably end up owing me about £1995 by the time its prepped. Am I just in a bad mood today as its VAT return week, or do people really bother searching for sub £2000 cars for customers?!

My thoughts exactly!!

Just wondered how you guys deal with the Acceptance Fee that Close Brothers charge? I have had a long discussion with a customer here today who has been offered finance at a much lower APR elsewhere through Motonovo, due to the fact that they aren't charging an acceptance fee. Those of you that use Close Brothers, do you find the acceptance fee is an issue when quoting figures? Mine sits at £340, just wondered if that's the same across the board? Means that generally I cant get the APR under about 12%, where others can quote sub 10%. (I know the obvious answer is deal with Motonovo!)

Just trying to imagine the poor receptionist trying to pacify the irate customer who has just read the advisory!!

I remember there was one doing the rounds a while back, an advisory that the owner looked like Susan Boyle. Harsh.

My answer to that is always, yes, when I have sold this one. Kills the conversation dead but either makes them buy it or forces them to "jog on".

Ask them to send you some air by Parcelforce, then if it doesn't turn up, or goes to the wrong address, you can jip about that too!

These individuals are the lowest of the low. Just feel really sorry for the poor private punter who gets blinded by the whole situation and loses their shirt.