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parents shopping for their little darlings are my new bug bear, just fuck off and buy new

I don't do Sundays, haven't got the patience. I also find if you set a close time on Saturdays, say (2.0pm) , most people who really are serious will book an appointment in advance, so these are the ones to concentrate on. I find most customers on Sundays are just at a lost of what to do for the day, so go and test a few cars, usually bringing the whole family … I am sure I miss a few sales, but it seems to work ….

The only saving grace is the under bidder messaged me gutted he'd lost out by a penny, he'd put his max bid in and was busy when the auction finished, I put him in the picture and he's coming round tomorrow having sent a deposit via paypal.

Your next viewer on that one (VW Men) will be questioning whether its been in an accident as the headlamps aren't faded!

We take a refundable deposit of £100, but only if we have seen the original with the cherished plate on it. As soon as they produce a V5 with the correct plate on it we send it back. EPV do not put it into the trade until you have the correct reg on the V5 or else it really confuses matters.

I would have dropped them and smeared dog shit on them.

Maybe you should add what this dealer has to his advert. Read item description below (V. funny if you put the item number in eBay and read the whole description if you’re bored)

....... but send it off to BBA reman and they'll still happily charge you £195+VAT!

Like any business - we occassionally spot a niche (like your Maestro story) - you have to fill your boots becuase any success gets replicated. Trick is to be Maverick and be the first to spot and do things (whilst keeping your mouth shut, however tempting it is to broadcast success) and get out as the bubble is about to pop - repeat.... I am not clever enough though.

Is this a new build? There lots of covents on these properties, friends buying of persimmon, solicitots noticed it and said you cant park van at house? Persimmons sales knew he had a van, she even mentioned how big it was lol

Thank you Simon Not really PITA customers at all (sorry OP), in fact really really nice genuine people. They bought my Cooper S a couple of weeks back; got a phone call saying they couldn't open the passenger door and would it be alright to pop around for me to have a look. I was hoping it was a case of pressing the remote twice (like some cars allow you to set up) but no wasn't that. Better than that, much better than that - there was nothing wrong at all, they just didn't squeeze the handle hard enough. I explained that the passenger door gets far less use and as such will stiffen up slightly (it wasn't bad). I told them you don't need a mechanic, you need a physiotherapist to strengthen your grip. They both laughed, have just recommended me to their friend who has already called me and have earmarked a Smart Fortwo for father in law - that's the customers I like and will bend over backwards to help whenever theyt want.

Why has the lease holder got to be a smart ass?, We finished a development two years ago of 8 houses and had this clause put in, two reasons no 1 the building structural warranty company insisted upon it, no 2 over the years the two biggest headaches we have had from warranty claims came from people trading from home and using the properties for purposes they where not built for. So seeing both sides of the argument on this one. .

Why should he? There’s no point messing about with Johnny Foreigner when he’s making a nuisance of himself - just f*** him off. PS this of you who don’t ‘do’ Sundays shouldn’t break the rule. I do so once per year and EVERY time have regretted it.

Any good runner with 12 months ticket is worth £800 imo

usually down to bad prep on a repair factory lacquer is normally cooked on only other problem is say uv light ie car parked up more than used

Another nutter courtesy of eBay at the weekend. Came 3 hours on the train, his first question when I meet him is about the clutch. His second question as he gets into the car is about the clutch. As he sets off he says “the clutch is funny” to which I respond “the clutch is perfect”. On the drive to my gaff I ask him why he’s buying, he says his 190K 18year old Bora is a little tired (ALARM BELLS: VW man). He crawls back at 35-40mph. At my place when my back is turned he removes the expansion tank cap & is obviously rewarded with coolant flying all over. He asks “why does the water feel slimy?” I swill off the engine bay with a bucket of water. Now at this point I should say he claims to be a full time bus fitter/mechanic so would, I assume, have substantially more knowledge than me. He then proceeds to alternately look at the (perfect) exhaust tip and at the gearbox casing. I can see he’s looking worried. He starts mumbling about the clutch yet again and then (like most of these spineless cretins do) mentions “the wife might struggle”. He then says his speed was limited driving here due to the worn clutch!!!!!! I slam the bonnet, tell him to get in because you’re going back to the train station. He looked surprised & started stuttering “Are you sure? Are you sure?” My answer “Yes I am, you started whinging about the clutch before you even got into the car, you’ve convinced yourself the clutch is knackered & now you’re concerned about your wife’s driving skills in THIS car so the deal is finished. Get in the car if you want a lift”. I then drive the car to the train station. He mentions the bloody clutch again! “Does it not feel funny to you?” I accelerate out of a roundabout at full pelt, I get the car up to 95mph before the next roundabout, I look at him sat there in silence & simply say “No”.