Bizarre comments by customers

[Merlot 3]

Was out on a test drive today with a father and son in a b-class, it was a cold day and the cars heater was blasting. The father in his late sixties was playing around with the heater vents and put all heat through the dashboard vents, the son in his forties quickly closed the middle dashboard vents above the radio/cd player and told his father not to use these vents with the heating on as Mercedes cars produce so much heat they can melt CD’s which are in the player! 

Thankfully they bought the car with the nuclear powered heating!!

 

[Dealer 54]

I effing despise these melts and commend you for your patience 

[EPV 631]

I would have kicked the pair of them out halfway through the test drive. 

[trade vet 702]

1 hour ago, Merlot said:

Was out on a test drive today with a father and son in a b-class, it was a cold day and the cars heater was blasting. The father in his late sixties was playing around with the heater vents and put all heat through the dashboard vents, the son in his forties quickly closed the middle dashboard vents above the radio/cd player and told his father not to use these vents with the heating on as Mercedes cars produce so much heat they can melt CD’s which are in the player! 

Thankfully they bought the car with the nuclear powered heating!!

 

You have got to remember the old guy’s first car would not have a heater,he was probably marvelling at the technology.!

[BHM 994]

Years ago a friend was told by her father that on a night you’ll have to turn off the radio because if you have it on with the lights it might flatten the battery. (Really? On a Nissan Micra?)

A sale fell through due to wheeltrims being cable tied to the wheels. The punter was taking motoring advice from her 14 year old son.

“This car has never been serviced!”. Said by a punter because a front fog lamp bulb was u/s.

”You have to discount because it’s only a 3 door!”. Madam it was a 3 door on the advert.

One December a man refused to buy a car because I’d just put a full MOT on it. His reasoning was that the following December he wouldn’t be able to afford to MOT the car due to Xmas etc. I suggested he MOT it early, he looked horrified & said “But that way I’d be losing money” (Eh??)

“What’s it like on petrol?” Not strange in itself but asked whilst looking at a 3.0 petrol automatic 4x4 (I refused the test drive & told him to buy a 1.0 Corsa).

Punter on phone, regarding a £500 banger, who lives 30 miles away; “Can you bring it around to my house & if I like it we can negotiate”. 

Customer on the phone about a £3000 car; “Can you buy back the CRV auto I bought a fortnight ago?”. WHY? “I’ve been quoted £8000 import taxes” (one of the African countries). 30 seconds on the internet proved he was correct, it’s a shame he didn’t think of checking first.

“I wanted a diesel & I don’t like orange”. Said after travelling 2 hours to see an orange petrol Freelander.

On a £1000 Vectra ”Would you take £300 because my daughter might be disabled in the near future?” (Yes, you read that correctly). I looked at her 25 year old daughter who looked as fit as a fiddle and simply said “Sorry no, I think you’d better leave”.

[justina3 518]

I had a lady buy a 107 once she done all the dealings as her boyfriend was away in the army, anyway usual questions she had a list written down, has the car ever been written off mot svs history ect and the one from last as she was in full flow, have you ever had a criminal conviction for fraud ? i just sat back and said excuse she went bright red and said aw sorry thats her boyfriends sense of humor.

Anyway she bought the car collected it and i had to mention it did her boyfriend have a good laugh that you asked the question she mumbles went red again and said yes, i will never know if it was a serious question odd for sure.

 

[trade vet 702]

42 minutes ago, tradex said:

or would of been extra.....how cars have come on

what ever next hydraulic brakes

I had a Moggy Thou' a couple of years ago that was fully loaded.

Heater (well, luke warmer), tipping passenger seat, two wipers, two rear lights, wing mirrors...properly spec'd.

We had an enquiry from a lady asking if the MOT had been done by an approved test station

Extras for ‘top of the range’ stuff......screen washers,quarter lights,overiders......sun visors....chrome hub caps....I was there..!

[Pip 12]

Some time ago I was selling a p/x I had in to a young lad. His first car. He turns up with mum and some skinny pot faced 17 year old machanic who he tells me knows everything there is to know about Corsas. He then gets a trolley Jack out of mums car as he's too young to of passed  himself so mum has to ferry him around and wants to Jack the car up. This was after asking for a glass of water. No not to drink but to pour over the windscreen and sunroof to see if they leaked. After reving the bo⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️ Out of the car I'd had enough. They can keep their £1295

I told him nicely the car wasn't for sale to him and ask him to leave. One week later he was back as he hadn't found anything to suit him. The Corsa had been sold two hours after his first visit. They are the best ones. 

[have a word with the wife 299]

1 minute ago, Pip said:

Some time ago I was selling a p/x I had in to a young lad. His first car. He turns up with mum and some skinny pot faced 17 year old machanic who he tells me knows everything there is to know about Corsas. He then gets a trolley Jack out of mums car as he's too young to of passed  himself so mum has to ferry him around and wants to Jack the car up. This was after asking for a glass of water. No not to drink but to pour over the windscreen and sunroof to see if they leaked. After reving the bo⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️ Out of the car I'd had enough. They can keep their £1295

I told him nicely the car wasn't for sale to him and ask him to leave. One week later he was back as he hadn't found anything to suit him. The Corsa had been sold two hours after his first visit. They are the best ones. 

been there soooooo many times  and the bonus is when they come back and its sold 

[Frankieola 22]

1 hour ago, Pip said:

Some time ago I was selling a p/x I had in to a young lad. His first car. He turns up with mum and some skinny pot faced 17 year old machanic who he tells me knows everything there is to know about Corsas. He then gets a trolley Jack out of mums car as he's too young to of passed  himself so mum has to ferry him around and wants to Jack the car up. This was after asking for a glass of water. No not to drink but to pour over the windscreen and sunroof to see if they leaked. After reving the bo⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️ Out of the car I'd had enough. They can keep their £1295

I told him nicely the car wasn't for sale to him and ask him to leave. One week later he was back as he hadn't found anything to suit him. The Corsa had been sold two hours after his first visit. They are the best ones. 

How did you ask him to leave? Just as you mentioned in the post or did you phrase it differently? I'm only asking as I wish I had the b0770cks to do this, I'm too laid back, comply with everything the customer wants and end up moaning about it after they have gone!

[Pip 12]

I did use to be the same but after many years of people talking a load of rubbish I'm so cheesed off with them I tell them. I also stopped test drives until we sort a deal subject to test drive. I've wasted so much time test driving for them to offer half the asking price. I mainly sell one owner fmdsh and I like them to be showroom condition with everything working. My ocd. I still get wasters telling me they have other ones to look at or they have to wait for their aunties inheritance. It never use to be like this. I had a lady call me after owning the car for just 3 days as it had a puncture and wants me down her house to put the spare on. 

Isn't it strange how all my customers best mates are car machanics. Lol. I've forgotten more than they know.

 

[have a word with the wife 299]

5 hours ago, tradex said:

ain't that the truth.....

...we have, but 10 mins ago had a viewing on a Clio that is genuinely a real 100% 24 carat peach, 10 plate, black, 42k, full Renault, working air, alloys, just had a belt and ticket and a great spec'.

Now, I've sold hundreds of Clio's and even to me this is a lovely example. The tribe from deepest Hastings, turn up in a beaten to death, doom blue, 170k Megane saloon (the one to have) looked and and after 5 mins said it wasn't for them.

I had to ask if I had missed something on the car, "no we just want a nice one, you know, in good condition"

 

.....you could of knocked me over with a dogs fart. I was so shocked, I was speachless, I didn't even give them the nearest Renault main agent's number

They came to fault the car, and could not, to reduce the price, that was the first thing they could think of 

4 hours ago, Frankieola said:

How did you ask him to leave? Just as you mentioned in the post or did you phrase it differently? I'm only asking as I wish I had the b0770cks to do this, I'm too laid back, comply with everything the customer wants and end up moaning about it after they have gone!

Walk awayfrom customer , answer the phone that hasnt rung, talk bollocks with loads of thankyous within ear shot of messer, turn phone off, approach messer, ask whos got keys, if theyre in car, remove them with the for sale board, turn sale board to sold, put back in window, lock the car.

"really really sorry, but, this cars now sold, see that car over there ? chap this morning couldnt decide between that one or this one, he left a £200 deposit with me this morning, he needed to check out insurance, well hes just phoned, hes having this one, really sorry about that"

you might get =" how much did you sell it for?"

the price in window sir ! i dont reduce prices !

walk away............

[BHM 994]

After a dismal week of dealing with tyre kickers, ignoring derisory email offers & talking to some absolute lions on the phone I had a pair of right greedy parasites.

Fussy as fussy can be, hunting for marks & scratches on £2000 cars, they claimed to be unconcerned with running costs (but soiled themselves at the thought of £300ish per year tax). They even opined that they thought their £2000 WOULD GET HIM A NICE, NEWISH, LOW MILEAGE AUDI ESTATE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I nearly fell over!! I asked them if they realised that was mega mileage ex-taxi money, or an old relic, to which they replied they realise Audi’s aren’t the best value but they expect quality for £2000!!!!

Upon showing them a nice Hyundai i30 estate, FHSH, new tyres & brakes, I then caught her TEXTING SOME FACEBOOK CHARLIE ABOUT A MONDEO WHILE HE WAS INSPECTING THE HISTORY. That was enough for me as I sent them packing.

An hour later they texted (no f***ing texts here as per my adverts), the £2000 2010 Mondeo estate wasn’t to their liking (ex-taxi money) but they’re “still focussed on the Audi range”.

Btw, these fussy, top dollar punters’ ride was a 53 plate Mazda 6 petrol, wheelarches in tatters, bumped at the front end, brakes well worn. Absolute clowns.

Good riddance to this week.

[Autolink100 34]

22 hours ago, Frankieola said:

How did you ask him to leave? Just as you mentioned in the post or did you phrase it differently? I'm only asking as I wish I had the b0770cks to do this, I'm too laid back, comply with everything the customer wants and end up moaning about it after they have gone!

This is not a bad way to be, I wish I could turn the other cheek sometimes but I just can't help myself. Sooner or later I just have to open up with both barrels. I'm ashamed to say that most of my negative google reviews have been about how rude i have been to the peasants. After 30 years I'm not going to change, I just can't be dealing with the vermin for much longer. Retirement beckons!

[andymc1973 199]

studenty types lower middle class, current fave was three yound lads on a golf gt i have, couldnt leave a dipper as he needed the money for the munchies, they were all stoned to bits

[BHM 994]

20 hours ago, tradex said:

 we have a bit of messer week too, as we all say, when it's quiet the oddballs, IQ challanged and those looking at stonechips, but ignoring the big picture and big ticket items come out to play.

Onwards and upwards  

New week, new start. Hopefully.

I don’t know what happened last week but every loon known to man contacted me with the aim of wasting my time & annoying me. It was absolute crackerjack week, not one sensible person.

[grant8064 219]

New week and the first call is;

C: ...if I transfer you the money what will you do off it?

M: Come and see the car and then we can discuss it.

C: I can't view it today, what's your lowest?

M: Screen price. If you want to discuss price you'll need to come in.

C: I can't come in. I'll need it delivered too.

M: You'll need to come and view in person and pay on our premises, whereabouts are you?

C: I'm in Hull so I won't be coming down.

M: We're in Brighton. I'd suggest you start looking in Hull.

C: Don't you wanna sell the f***ing car?!

Give me strength.

 

 

[BHM 994]

They’d also want free delivery.

Here’s my first email; Hi would you take a trade bid on this Ranger I’m a home trader in Cheshire and need one to pull my trailer as my last one got lifted? Please call me on XXXXXXXXXXX can collect either today or tomorrow for cash

Wants a discount, can’t be bothered to phone and when I googled his phone no. his trade seems to be gardening. 

[MattR 177]

my first messer of the week? they came in on saturday telling me all about the bad experience they had with the corsa they bought from another dealer 5 weeks ago. steering broke, they wouldnt take it back, I'm scared to drive it now, lost all confidence etc. I asked if it had been fixed, they said yes, but still no faith in the car, so want to change it. But as shes a student apparently cant get any money till her next loan comes through on april 9th! I explained couldnt do anything at that point as I dont do finance but you probably wouldnt get a finance house to fund an 03reg fiesta for £1495....

 

Anyway, her boyfriend calls back late on saturday, says theyve got the money sorted, can she come down monday morning cos shes at work (student nurse) in the afternoon. Of course. 1045 agreed.

 This morning, moved 6 cars out in the rain to get this available for test drive, only for her to no show. Ring the boyfriend 

'oh, she said she'd ring you this morning to let you know she couldnt make it'

'oh. just I had to move 6 cars in the rain to get it available. do you know if she is still interested or has she changed her mind?'

'could you make sure you dont block it in again in case she decides to come down later'

'how likely is that going to be?'

'Ooooh, I'd say 90% she wont be coming down'

'Ok, thanks'

Its back on the front row now cos the rains stopped! Maybe the dealer she bought the Corsa off isnt the twat she made him out to be!

'

[Screenman 47]

Go way back to 1986,

You never told us,

Never told you what?

That the steering wheel is on the wrong side.

Yep! honest one that, we sold a VW camper to a couple of sisters (maybe) from Richmond Surrey they viewed it 3 times they sat in it for hours and we delivered it a week after purchase, they were in it again during handover and did not want to take up the offer of a drive at any time. They called a couple of hours after my salesman got back to the site and I was the one who took the call.

I did offer money back straight away but they decided to keep it as they were going off too Europe with it.

Those were the days when you were retailing VW campers for a couple of grand and less. If I remember correctly that one was bought for about £500 and went out at £1495. Happy days.