BHM

Yep, they are either just messing about or haven’t got the bollocks to make their stupid offer to your face. I’m sure others have made the occasional sale but how much time have they wasted with shitheads. It’s be a long time before I execute business by text.

For fear of sounding like Mr. Miserable (heaven forbid!), how come nowadays when people intend to start trading they think the most important thing is a f***ing website? I’d of thought the purchasing of a few automobiles to see how things pan out & get them advertised would be priority. But then what would a philistine like me know? Buy a handful of knackers from the block, then try finding a CHEAP mechanic, experience dealing with a few marque specialists trying to rape you for certain problems & then find out the price of bodywork repairs. Believe me all you wannabe newbies, tossing it off on a keyboard isn’t what this game is all about.

No chance here for this very reason. I used to do it years ago but with penniless punters seemingly now aware of most of their rights I tell them to contact Anyvan.com or Shiply - funnily enough they’re never keen after that. You can usually tell a genuine distance purchaser; they’re on the phone and NOT f***ing about emailing back & forth. Today I had a few emails from a gentleman about 300 miles away. He claims he’s disabled, fussy as f***, expects FREE delivery and then adds “can I have £500 off the car as I’m disabled”!!! Imagine dealing with this chancer 300 miles away.

Hahaha, I must live on the same planet. There’s no f***ing chance of me phoning some text cretin who can’t be bothered to phone, or can’t afford to phone because their GiffGaff credit is running low. The 1% of texters who are actually genuine WILL phone when they don’t get a response. It’s bad enough fielding emails as more than half of them are clearly from knobheads.

Poundstretcher’s gone tits up, House of Fraser closing over 50% of their shops, small town centres like ghost towns midweek. It makes you wonder who’s next.

That’s why none of them are cheap. ‘My’ painter’s cheap but as I’ve said before he’s f***ing useless.

You’ve bought the wrong VW. Unfashionable bad sellers & they’re an even harder sell than a GolfPlus. Good luck, don’t sink any more money into it than you need to.

I only do same day appointments. If a punter says “I’m interested in xxxxx & will come in 3 days” I tell them to phone when they’re setting off. I reserve nothing, don’t take a paltry deposit, it’s simply ‘First Come, First Served’ here.

Disability Living Allowance. I don’t know about you but I’d say receiving almost £4500 p.a. is most certainly a benefit! Too many in this country with too soft a view on scroungers, I’d axe this allowance/benefit today & those parasites you say apparently need it to get to work(!!) can either spend their own money or get the bus - those were my 2 options when I was a young man. Yes, there’s an upper age limit in opening a claim. I guess the idea is reduced mobility is part of getting older. Seems a little harsh to me when so many young parasites are getting away with a life of benefits living off the sweat of people like me. Too many new cars doing the pizza delivery runs - I wonder if they’re insured?

Abso-bloody-lutely! Grrrrrr!!! Too right! Some of the bloody punters spoil this job!

Quite why someone getting £85 pw DLA, & sat at home cos they can’t (or won’t) work, would choose to piss it away on a new Motability car is beyond me anyway. It just goes to show how vain/stupid people are - about £375 per month on a car in which to urinate in or let their dog urinate in. That’s almost £4500 p.a.! Personally I’d investigate the punters who choose to use their allowance in such a fashion & any irregularities would result in cessation of their DLA. Sorry, but this Motability nonsense has been going on unchecked for decades & it’s time some of these bloodsuckers got a taste of the world of work. It’s hard out their these days but there are still far, far too many living on the sweat of others. The social housing estates (I’m no snob & no offence is intended here) seem to be half full of either 10yr old Audis & Range Rovers in drug dealer specification, bald tyres & all, or family car dross up to 3 years old which I can only assume is Motability supplied. If I were given £4500 per year I certainly wouldn’t be tipping it into the local Hyundai dealer.

If you want hours of your life wasted by arseholes, dreamers & bottom-dollarers (if there’s such a word) then I wholeheartedly agree - conduct business by text message. It’s not for me and the sort of timewasters & spineless scum who conduct their life hidden behind texts with their pitiful ‘text speak’ aren’t my sort of person. I makes no difference whatsoever whether it’s a £300 p/x knacker “to clear” or a nice retail car at decent money - PROPER punters will phone. However I will concede that I’m fairly sure we’ll all end up just texting eventually- but I’ll be the last on that particular bandwagon. I’m a charmless f***er but I expect some basic courtesy from punters which is happily reciprocated from me. Call me old fashioned but part of that courtesy is the decency to make the effort to make personal contact over a business transaction rather than texting like a 13 year old schoolgirl.

She’s been turned down for the finance I regularly get the whiff of bullshit from the big talkers in the auction hall. Here I’m beginning to smell a familiar aroma.......

Surely not another auction employee full of sh1t? Tbh it surprises me anyone is taken in.

Cos he isn’t. As Arfur says above (more or less), he’s an ignorant twat. He probably hasn’t even got a sister. The occasional text I receive, despite ALL adverts clearly stating no texts, I ignore. Genuine punters will phone (most genuine punters don’t text anyway - that’s the Scumtree/Facefook brigade) if their texts are ignored. Those that then don’t follow up with a phone call aren’t serious. DO NOT CONDUCT BUSINESS BY TEXT. ITS A MUGS GAME.

Who gives a f***? It’s a lump of turd fit only for the budget market. If I’d owned it it would be long gone by now & I’d be pouring the proceeds down my throat. BRAVO! That’s what FIAT dealers shouted when they actually managed to sell one. Who the f*** types “Fiat bravo” into the search bar on the internet? You’d have to be some sort of deluded ex-FIAT dealership manager suffering from Alzheimer’s harking back to the not-so-good-old-days.

I’d of fucked him off after the first let down. As for messing about texting like a schoolgirl making out you’ve other viewings, don’t bother. You don’t want a tit like that messing you about & anyway, why play the text dickhead?

Many of their cars are pisspoor. Are the PSA group incapable of designing bits of plastic and rubber that don’t leak either air or water?

You old curmudgeon, I thought it was only me thinking that.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised at the results. I wouldn’t use gloss black on a home job (perhaps Arfur’s prep is better than mine), but a dark satin grey looks a treat & hides plenty of lumps & bumps cos needless to say my paint prep standards are piss poor - if the wheels are rough then it helps ‘key’ the paint so stuff using sandpaper!! A jet wash off, leave to dry then straight out with the rattle can. Job done.

Sorry, but I disagree. They’re absolute shite & wear off in a day or two in my opinion. You need to get rid of the source of the stench by heavy cleaning, recleaning and then ozoning. Even then it won’t be 100% but a valet & an ozone does enough at my end of the market. Tbh the only way is to replace seats etc if they’ve been soaked in piss or immersed in a cloud of cannabis smoke for 3 years. +1. Many are kept by nice normal people. However many are kept by parasitical scum who respect nothing because they are used to getting everything in life for free & live this f***ing pigs in a sty. When you give someone something for free they do not value it - just think of your kids leaving the lights on, that ain’t concerned about the electric bill

Haha, I’m with Arfur all the way on minimising refurb costs but then most of my cars are shite anyway. Most of mine are left battered & scuffed but I’m not dealing with ‘precious’ buyers of Germany’s finest.

We should be raisin the standard, not lowering it.

The knack at the cheaper end of the mark is definitely NO V.A.T.!!

I’m afraid you’re a few decades out of date. Petrol V70s have had them on for about 16 years, I’ve just had a 12 year old SAAB Aero & that has one, the list goes on & on. However whereas diesels knock the stuffing out of DMFs it’s rare that the DMF needs changing on a petrol with a knackered clutch.