Introduction

[Mark101 536]

3 hours ago, Casper said:

the guy just changed it back 

Bloody hell Casper, that was an anti climax 

[Casper 272]

4 hours ago, Mark101 said:

Bloody hell Casper, that was an anti climax 

It was really funny to be fair he drove around Edinburgh and Glasgow with it on for weeks and still hasn't noticed to this day 

[have a word with the wife 299]

On 1/23/2020 at 3:59 PM, David Horgan said:

Them were the days Casper , fixing exhausts with coke cans and that stuff you had to wet then apply to the said repair , went bone hard and come off 10 miles down the road 

gun gum !  or was it gum gun 

we used to fit used engines from scrap yard £50 chance your luck, £75 guaranteed a good un  of course they were all the same, seen us fit 2 engines before finding a good un in the third, bloody scrapmen  gunk it down, hose pipe, satin black the rocker cover, punter thought they were getting a recon. Batterys falling through the bulkhead on escorts? they were awkward to weld up without setting car on fire ! within 12 inch of strut top so had to be welded in, not just plonked it and blacked round the edges 

repair panels NEVER  fitted, put a new wing on something and you could walk in the door gap, so it was easier to clag it up, once got a metro bonnet and it was a whole inch shorter from wing to wing ! chrome wheel arch trim ! you could get in red too, wish i had a £1 for ever foot i've fitted of that ! but there again i probably have it used to bring the car up that much ! engines, they were all poor, chevette / viva engine was abysmal, and the sarter motors didnt last 2 minutes, too near exhaust manifold, remember the square bit on the end of the starter motor you put a 7/16 spanner on it if it got stuck  n'o i dont remember neither 

 

[trade vet 697]

On 1/23/2020 at 5:22 PM, Tony F said:

Nice intro Halfpenny and welcome.

Early nineties and preparing an old Maestro to send down the block with a few other cars I had ready. Big rust hole in the sill, and running out of time to fix it properly, and had no wire/fibre glass to bridge the hole. My eyes rested on an out of date Glass's guide, which was then carefully rammed into the offending hole. Perfect fit!! Skim of p38, brush of underseal and jobs a good un!!    At 3.30am the following night  i suddenly woke up, remembering the glass's guide has my business name stamped on the spine of the pages....

Paid for your own Guide,not many did that. ( smiley face )

[trade vet 697]

On 1/23/2020 at 5:22 PM, Tony F said:

Nice intro Halfpenny and welcome.

Early nineties and preparing an old Maestro to send down the block with a few other cars I had ready. Big rust hole in the sill, and running out of time to fix it properly, and had no wire/fibre glass to bridge the hole. My eyes rested on an out of date Glass's guide, which was then carefully rammed into the offending hole. Perfect fit!! Skim of p38, brush of underseal and jobs a good un!!    At 3.30am the following night  i suddenly woke up, remembering the glass's guide has my business name stamped on the spine of the pages....

Only by chance I did well out of Maestros.In about late 80’s,I knew a BCA guy who became a manager at the newly opened Bridgewater.He told me that dealers in Devon would pay well into book for nice Maestros as they were very popular with pensioners.The Trade hated Maestros and up north you could buy (without any bother )quality,low mileage examples well off the book.For a while,I used to send a wagon load down each week and I had my own section in the hall.Sounds rediculous but it was true.

[BHM 994]

9 hours ago, have a word with the wife said:

gun gum ! 

That was it! And what about those shite exhaust bandages? As though a bandage wrapped around would satisfactorily seal against an exhaust box . 

I remember as a young lad in my first car, a Chevette, I naively decided to try some mastic on the exhaust. Well, it looked the same colour! Three miles up the road smoke belching from the underside then it got inside the cabin & nearly choked us. Mind you, the trade wasn't much better. My second car was a Maestro (an auto, it sounded half-interesting to me) from a garage, they bodged-up the exhaust which promptly fell out. Anyway to cut a long story short after the third visit for a ‘repair’ I’d had enough, replaced the back box myself and phoned to tell them I was coming to which the spineless bastards had locked themselves up! I flung the back box at their window but this pathetic item barely kissed the glass & fell to the floor.

That was my career as a thug, a young man last seen driving away in a green automatic Maestro, over.

[trade vet 697]

5 hours ago, BHM said:

That was it! And what about those shite exhaust bandages? As though a bandage wrapped around would satisfactorily seal against an exhaust box . 

I remember as a young lad in my first car, a Chevette, I naively decided to try some mastic on the exhaust. Well, it looked the same colour! Three miles up the road smoke belching from the underside then it got inside the cabin & nearly choked us. Mind you, the trade wasn't much better. My second car was a Maestro (an auto, it sounded half-interesting to me) from a garage, they bodged-up the exhaust which promptly fell out. Anyway to cut a long story short after the third visit for a ‘repair’ I’d had enough, replaced the back box myself and phoned to tell them I was coming to which the spineless bastards had locked themselves up! I flung the back box at their window but this pathetic item barely kissed the glass & fell to the floor.

That was my career as a thug, a young man last seen driving away in a green automatic Maestro, over.

Brilliant.They actually did a top of the range talking Maestro where you could give it various instructions.The trouble was you needed to speak in a BBC Radio 4 voice.If you had a regional accent they did not understand .You couldn’t make it up ! I think Tradex would remember them.

[BHM 994]

16 minutes ago, trade vet said:

Brilliant.They actually did a top of the range talking Maestro where you could give it various instructions.The trouble was you needed to speak in a BBC Radio 4 voice.If you had a regional accent they did not understand .You couldn’t make it up ! I think Tradex would remember them.

I didn’t think it took verbal instructions, I thought it just talked to you when you had a problem. Given the quality of Austin Rover’s products I guess the computer’s voice became hoarse rather quickly.

Edited January 25, 2020 by BHM

[trade vet 697]

17 minutes ago, BHM said:

I didn’t think it took verbal instructions, I thought it just talked to you when you had a problem. Given the quality of Austin Rover’s products I guess the computer’s voice became hoarse rather quickly.

You are right,just checked.My recollection was getting in with a punter,switching on and saying ‘how ya doing’ and it would reply with ‘hello,drive carefully and check your oil water and tyres etc. It must have just said something like that every time you switched on.I suppose it was over 30 years ago.

[BHM 994]

2 minutes ago, trade vet said:

You are right,just checked.My recollection was getting in with a punter,switching on and saying ‘how ya doing’ and it would reply with ‘hello,drive carefully and check your oil water and tyres etc. It must have just said something like that every time you switched on.I suppose it was over 30 years ago.

Hahaha, I think that’s called schizophrenia.

[Mark101 536]

1 hour ago, trade vet said:

Brilliant.They actually did a top of the range talking Maestro where you could give it various instructions.The trouble was you needed to speak in a BBC Radio 4 voice.If you had a regional accent they did not understand .You couldn’t make it up ! I think Tradex would remember them.

Do you remember the urban myth that a Maestro would say "oh shit" in the event of an accident. It was big news when I was a lad. I had a G reg Maestro Special when I was at college in 1991, my dad bought it me. I hated it and did a straight swap for an Orion Injection Ghia. I have never had as much money as when I lived at home, thanks Dad.

[Casper 272]

4 hours ago, Mark101 said:

Do you remember the urban myth that a Maestro would say "oh shit" in the event of an accident. It was big news when I was a lad. I had a G reg Maestro Special when I was at college in 1991, my dad bought it me. I hated it and did a straight swap for an Orion Injection Ghia. I have never had as much money as when I lived at home, thanks Dad.

Had a  d reg maestro for about a week before scrapping it got it from my uncle weirdly the odometer stopped at bang on 100000 miles and sat there for about 5 years . He bought it with about 5000 miles and had it about 10 years  but changed it for and older car .

Edited January 25, 2020 by Casper

[trade vet 697]

3 hours ago, Mark101 said:

Do you remember the urban myth that a Maestro would say "oh shit" in the event of an accident. It was big news when I was a lad. I had a G reg Maestro Special when I was at college in 1991, my dad bought it me. I hated it and did a straight swap for an Orion Injection Ghia. I have never had as much money as when I lived at home, thanks Dad.

Brilliant again ! Good deal,who would swap an Orion Ghia injection for a Maestro ?

[BHM 994]

10 minutes ago, trade vet said:

Brilliant again ! Good deal,who would swap an Orion Ghia injection for a Maestro ?

   TV I know the answer you’re looking for is “No fucker” but I always thought the Maestro was a better car than the pitiful Escort/Orion. I’m saying that purely from a driving proposition - I had nowt to do with car selling in those days. Tbh I thought they drove better than VW’s miserable Golf too.

I honestly think they weren’t bad cars, although the stepper motor choke system was shit (remember that?) & usually wanted to set an idle speed of about 2000rpm.

I also remember having a blast to a pub in a neighbour’s MG Montego - 2 full litres of fuel injected Leyland power. I’d been reduced to Renault motoring at the time in the shape of a 5 1.1 - what a heap of shit. Honestly, the Montego felt like a Ferrari, it went like shit off a shovel! Or so I thought!!!