Tools of the trade

[Dave2302 387]

Yep, I remember Barry, sadly I don't have the correct emoticon lololol

1 hour ago, tradex said:

Sadly most are trial but substitution in my experience,

A lot of inepts are still doing that, and get sent on wild goose chases  .................

Why ??  Because the vast majority of modules etc need version coding these days, specific to the Car, so you swap f.e. an Airbag Module, it has exactly the same part number, but it came from a higher specced Merc VW whatever of the same model, so you fit it, light is still on !!

Why, because the car it came from had side airbags and your car does not, (or vice versa), so it needs to be version coded on Dealer Level Kit, also some very expensive Generics will do basic coding on some modules on some cars  

I'm learning every day !!

Here's a good 'un .................

I Just sorted out an HVAC fault on a 2014 E Class, 2 Main Dealers and 1 Indie baffled, so they sent it to me 

They've had the Dash out twice, changed sensors, flap motors, blower control module, HVAC module etc still not fixed after £1000's.

Anyone know what was wrong ?? ..........................

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.........................

.........................

Fluff etc in the UCP Temperature Sensors little tiny Fan, stopping it drawing the Upper Cabin Air through to the Sensor, 10 minutes with Vacuum Cleaner, and 8.5 minutes of that was getting it out from under the bench and plugging it in

How did I find that ? ....................

Sat in the Car for 10 minutes watching all the data with SDS Xentry as the heater was going beserk blowing hot / cold flat out / slowly etc etc

A tenners worth of OBD reader certainly won't do that  

I don't think the guy believed me this morning when I said it was all fixed and ready for collection

I'm not sayin' what I actuallycharged the Guy for that, but it was a helluva lot cheaper for me to actually fix it, than all the money he's already wasted with 3 firms who didn't actually fix it !!

[EPV 631]

yeah, super, fab dave, lovely, all interesting stuff etc.

 

So when are you moving down to Kent then?

[Area 51 33]

1 hour ago, tradex said:

There was a guy in my old manor who knew electrical and basic electronics but more importantly how to use dealer level s/w and had a "why did it do that", 'spark' mindset......most of his work came from main agents after they had come to a dead end.

Worst tale he told me, newish beemer 7 series poor starter, but not always and worse when hot.....that car had battery, starter motor, ignition key interface etc.....£1,000s spent, multiple techs across it. 

Arrived by low loader, drop tested battery fine, went for a start, nothing, but noticed interior lights went dim.....bingo, in what 3 mins?

.....can't remember which but was a engine/gearbox earth strap. That memory came back to me only a few weeks back with same problem.

Point being no kunt had checked the fu%king basics, no one had questioned why lights went dim etc.....first form stuff. 

So true, and there endth the lesson for Friday... Dave, stick me down for a copy of the book... you should do a daily blog.... gotta be worth any motor trader doing a night school class in winter on motor maintenance

[twerp 69]

3 hours ago, Dave2302 said:

Sorry, Im done explaining this to folks, not on all makes it won't for all the reasons I have already stated on various forums over the years.

 

Sorry not trying to teach you how to suck eggs.

3 hours ago, tradex said:

There was a guy in my old manor who knew electrical and basic electronics but more importantly how to use dealer level s/w and had a "why did it do that", 'spark' mindset......most of his work came from main agents after they had come to a dead end.

Worst tale he told me, newish beemer 7 series poor starter, but not always and worse when hot.....that car had battery, starter motor, ignition key interface etc.....£1,000s spent, multiple techs across it. 

Arrived by low loader, drop tested battery fine, went for a start, nothing, but noticed interior lights went dim.....bingo, in what 3 mins?

.....can't remember which but was a engine/gearbox earth strap. That memory came back to me only a few weeks back with same problem.

Point being no kunt had checked the fu%king basics, no one had questioned why lights went dim etc.....first form stuff. 

Again, inexcusable. Earth straps are the first thing to look at.

Had this with a friend of a friends 1 Series who was charged 1k to swap out a fuse box, the problem remained and they wouldn't listen to me.

[Dave2302 387]

2 hours ago, EPV said:

So when are you moving down to Kent then?

Ha Ha , now you know fine well I moved up here 12 years ago to get away from all the Kuntish folks...............

And over the last 12 years when visiting the S.E. has only got worse each time.

Darn those typos (silly yellow face laughing it's tits off emoji)

[DPF 18]

4 hours ago, Dave2302 said:

Yep, I remember Barry, sadly I don't have the correct emoticon lololol

A lot of inepts are still doing that, and get sent on wild goose chases  .................

Why ??  Because the vast majority of modules etc need version coding these days, specific to the Car, so you swap f.e. an Airbag Module, it has exactly the same part number, but it came from a higher specced Merc VW whatever of the same model, so you fit it, light is still on !!

Why, because the car it came from had side airbags and your car does not, (or vice versa), so it needs to be version coded on Dealer Level Kit, also some very expensive Generics will do basic coding on some modules on some cars  

I'm learning every day !!

Here's a good 'un .................

I Just sorted out an HVAC fault on a 2014 E Class, 2 Main Dealers and 1 Indie baffled, so they sent it to me 

They've had the Dash out twice, changed sensors, flap motors, blower control module, HVAC module etc still not fixed after £1000's.

Anyone know what was wrong ?? ..........................

.........................

.........................

.........................

Fluff etc in the UCP Temperature Sensors little tiny Fan, stopping it drawing the Upper Cabin Air through to the Sensor, 10 minutes with Vacuum Cleaner, and 8.5 minutes of that was getting it out from under the bench and plugging it in

How did I find that ? ....................

Sat in the Car for 10 minutes watching all the data with SDS Xentry as the heater was going beserk blowing hot / cold flat out / slowly etc etc

A tenners worth of OBD reader certainly won't do that  

I don't think the guy believed me this morning when I said it was all fixed and ready for collection

I'm not sayin' what I actuallycharged the Guy for that, but it was a helluva lot cheaper for me to actually fix it, than all the money he's already wasted with 3 firms who didn't actually fix it !!

Impressive Dave !

[Dave2302 387]

Nah, this is impressive ..............

Passat Subframe, just put it on the lift ......................

This passed an MOT last year (fuckin wanker roll eyes emoji) ................

12 minutes ago, DPF said:

Impressive Dave !

 

BTW I haven't bashed at that, this is exactly as the guy drove it in here, Gearbox mount and lower arm right side just about to let go !!

So, Fort William area is the place to get your MOT's then fellas (crying emoji)

[Dave2302 387]

SD03MLL ............... Look it up, 23rd Feb MOT runs out !!

I could weld it, if I had to, and it would be almost impossible for anyone to tell, but would take hours and hours, and have to be taken out anyways ..............

I just paid £65 for a mint one from England VAG Breaker delivered yesterday, coat of stone chip black drying, I'll fire it in tomorrow  

Apart from S/F it is a really nice Car, guy's had it for a while and looked after it

AFAIK it is Suspension and Steering Components that you cannot weld, like arms, track rods etc

11 minutes ago, tradex said:

Jesus H Christ.....eyes popping out head on stalks like Road Runner cartoon smiley. 

I dont think that will go again no matter how much welding goes on. 

PS is it admissible to weld subframes any more? 

PPS how old Is the Pissat

 

[It's me 612]

lets hope the bolts come out

had to make an incision in a chassis this week because a stupid nut had decaptivated

right balls ache it was plus i had to make it an invisible repair so punter or mot man didnt wonder what the story was

[DPF 18]

5 hours ago, Dave2302 said:

SD03MLL ............... Look it up, 23rd Feb MOT runs out !!

I could weld it, if I had to, and it would be almost impossible for anyone to tell, but would take hours and hours, and have to be taken out anyways ..............

I just paid £65 for a mint one from England VAG Breaker delivered yesterday, coat of stone chip black drying, I'll fire it in tomorrow  

Apart from S/F it is a really nice Car, guy's had it for a while and looked after it

AFAIK it is Suspension and Steering Components that you cannot weld, like arms, track rods etc

 

Near 200k miles still worth repairing? 

[Dave2302 387]

11 hours ago, boring dave said:

lets hope the bolts come out

had to make an incision in a chassis this week because a stupid nut had decaptivated

right balls ache it was plus i had to make it an invisible repair so punter or mot man didnt wonder what the story was

 

11 hours ago, DPF said:

Near 200k miles still worth repairing? 

While it was on the lift, I air gunned all the Bolts out, wire wheeled them then Copperslipped 'em ............. 10 mins .............

That wanker who did the MOT last year advised a CV boot with fuck all wrong with it, and a bit of rust on Front wings which is literally a few 5mm scabs around the Front Wheelarches !!

This boils my piss, I have never been a grass, and I'm not about to get involved with this, aside from a tidy earner out of repairing it

Buuuuuuuuut ............... 

Fuck me, fair enough if a tester will overlook say a crack in bottom left Screen, a few LED's out on a Tail Lamp for a mate .....................

And then there is this twunt !! 

EDIT :- Oh feck ........... btw, before I get some smart arses ............. 2 lines up that does not say BUTT FUCK ME (ROFLMFAO emoji)

[Dave2302 387]

Job done, around an hour I guess taking off Coffee Breaks and the Saturday visitors

Photo's show just how bad it was now it's outside and in better light, that MOT Tester should have this rammed up his arse

I often use the "Ratchet Strap on Transmission Jack Feet" technique to pull suspension arms down out of the way so I can maneouver parts out easily

[Brunswick 10]

I'm a little late coming to the party on this one but for what its worth if a hand held polisher is useful to you then I highly recommend the AC Delco Li-on 10.8V mini polisher, I use mine daily and far more convenient being battery powered.  The Autel MD808 Pro is a good value scan tool with free updates for life and has service functions like EPB, reset etc.  For upholstery I use a brush, new sponge and a bucket full of upholstery cleaner and wet vac it out with a Karcher WD2 then put a dehumidifier in the car overnight.  Hope this is useful.

[Dave2302 387]

Pic's go round the 4 sides of the Box, it's only the factory welds holding it together

[DPF 18]

Hi Dave, what’s different between MX808 and MD808 ? Thanks 

[Area 51 33]

56 minutes ago, Dave2302 said:

Job done, around an hour I guess taking off Coffee Breaks and the Saturday visitors

Photo's show just how bad it was now it's outside and in better light, that MOT Tester should have this rammed up his arse

I often use the "Ratchet Strap on Transmission Jack Feet" technique to pull suspension arms down out of the way so I can maneouver parts out easily

Jeeeze, you'd ideally want to shuv this up the last MOT testers arse as you rightly say Dave, then secure the thing up there with theratchet strap... bordering on bloody criminal that..

[Dave2302 387]

2 hours ago, Area 51 said:

Jeeeze, you'd ideally want to shuv this up the last MOT testers arse as you rightly say Dave, then secure the thing up there with theratchet strap... bordering on bloody criminal that..

Oh that definitely was Criminal, it had to be a bent MOT in order to get shot of it last year !! Probably owned by the guy who tested it, or he got bribed a lot to pass that

[Arfur Dealy 823]

To the OP...... Silicone spray....

[Area 51 33]

2 hours ago, Dave2302 said:

Oh that definitely was Criminal, it had to be a bent MOT in order to get shot of it last year !! Probably owned by the guy who tested it, or he got bribed a lot to pass that

Thumps up too that... Shame you cant see the V5 to find out which goat herder it was... Anyway, as you say.. aint worth in it the grand scheme of things, and youre sure to have a happy punter now .. 

 

29 minutes ago, tradex said:

Love the 'Sublime' Snap-On tool box in the background......tongue hanging out emoji. 

Car Dealer porn.. should be a whole new thread... Just as the wife likes shoes and handbags... Air compressors, ball joint splitters and jump starters..

 

[Dave2302 387]

38 minutes ago, tradex said:

Love the 'Sublime' Snap-On tool box in the background......tongue hanging out emoji. 

I have another stack the same, the Green one was bought 3 years ago, and the Black one around 23 years ago, and still in good nick

They are both now all but full with mostly Snap On tools ...................

If I get time tomorrow I'll post up some Snap On Porn

 

I might trade them both later this year and install the huge Snap On monster that goes all the way along the wall like a fitted kitchen (huge grin emoji)

[It's me 612]

ive seen some bad subframes in my time but never one that bad

a few years ago my mot man said subframe failed and you cant weld it

so i replaced

six months later same garage welding up exactly the same make model year subframe on a similar car

hmm

[Dave2302 387]

10 hours ago, boring dave said:

ive seen some bad subframes in my time but never one that bad

a few years ago my mot man said subframe failed and you cant weld it

so i replaced

six months later same garage welding up exactly the same make model year subframe on a similar car

hmm

Hmmmmmm indeed

A couple of years ago I watched a local Garage Owner using an Air Hacksaw to cut the middle section out of a 4X4 Pick Up (Navara or similar), in order to replace a rotten and leaking Engine Sump without dropping the S/Frame, then he welded the centre bit back in afterwards FFS (there isn't an emoji for that emoji)

Here's some of the promised Snap On Porn, although I have to admit it's all way too dusty right now  ................

[Arfur Dealy 823]

Puts my £50 Halfords set to shame (big smiles)

[Stalker 180]

30 minutes ago, Dave2302 said:

Hmmmmmm indeed

A couple of years ago I watched a local Garage Owner using an Air Hacksaw to cut the middle section out of a 4X4 Pick Up (Navara or similar), in order to replace a rotten and leaking Engine Sump without dropping the S/Frame, then he welded the centre bit back in afterwards FFS (there isn't an emoji for that emoji)

Here's some of the promised Snap On Porn, although I have to admit it's all way too dusty right now  ................

 

 

Very impressive.

 

I can see a first line box, i thought you didn't fit them

1 hour ago, tradex said:

I had a 10 plate Grand Punto with seriously rotten original lower arms a year ago that had been MOT'd by a main agent of all things.....those arms rot on the top so can be missed from below by a lazy tester, apparently quite common on those Grands, but not seen one since?

The good news is that the corsa-d does exactly the same thing!

 

We had a 4 year old grande punto fail on a rotten subframe, i threw a right old paddy with the tester and said he must be talking shite... It turned out it was me that was talking shite

[Mark101 536]

I wish my garage spent less time polishing his many Snap On tools and boxes and started using them.

He was all gooey last week over a new HUGE roller thingy, trading in his old one.

It looks an impressive set up, I just wish he used them more often.